Monday, November 18, 2013

Entertainement Weekly Hates Me

Dear Entertainment Weekly,

In an era of dwindling magazine sales, I'm surprised that you'd be such a bag of dicks to me.

I am a magazine person. I like reading paper magazines and subscribe to several. [And not just because I like getting mail that isn't bills.] I know this makes me part of a dwindling minority, but I've stuck by you for about 12 or so years, and I'm planning on renewing.

Well, I was.

Imagine my surprise when I got your Reunions issue. This issue came with several cover options. While I am thankful that I didn't have to deal with Julia Roberts' Muppet smile on the cover, I was more than a little pissed to find that I'd been given the Frasier cover.

What the fuck?

How old and white do you think I am?

I would have gladly accepted Do The Right Thing, The XFiles, or Wicked covers, but no. I end up with tossed salad and scrambled eggs.

You'd better straighten up, EW.

Sincerely,

Suniverse

3 comments:

  1. I read "bag of dicks" and think hahahahahaha! I have to remember that one and use it myself.

    But I so can't pull off bag of dicks.

    You, on the other hand?
    Work it.

    EW missed the boat on you, Suni.
    Can I have your scambled eggs and salad?

    ReplyDelete
  2. We're old. We're white. We're awesome. Let's just own it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Now I want to see the Wicked cover.

    ReplyDelete

Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.