Monday, December 9, 2013

Postivity is where it's at, motherfuckers.

Hey, so, I got laid off from my [terrible] job last week. Which is kind of bad news, but also a crisitunity, because holy shit, you guys, do you know what I found??

WEATHER WHISKERS. An app for your phone where CATS IN OUTFITS TELL YOU THE WEATHER. WITH SNARKY COMMENTARY.

I am in love with the world. Seriously. In love.

The husband's reaction when I shared this life changing event? "Can you find a job, please?"

This may also be because the first day after I was laid off [which would be last Thursday - see? I still can remember the days!], I called or texted him about 875353 times. Conservatively.

Me: Hey, I'm going to go put gas in my car. Do you need anything from Costco?

Me: Hey, I'm going to the library. Do you need anything?

Me: Hey, I'm at Costco and they have this carry-on suitcase thing that we maybe should get for the girl and it's $40. What do you think?

Me: Hey, are you coming home for dinner?

Me: Hey, did you see that Nelson Mandela died?

Me: Hey, what time will you be home for dinner?

So I'm rechanneling my energies. I'm finishing a novel. I'm working on my memoir proposal. I'm cleaning my goddamn house. I'm just realizing that we're hosting Christmas in 18 days and I don't know where our tree is. It's trapped in the cedar closet, which is now moving up on my list of Things To Do And/Or Clean While Unemployed.

This is going to be an adventure!

17 comments:

  1. At first, I read your title as "Poetry is where it's at" which made me laugh because then you said "MOTHERFUCKERS" which to some people is the opposite of poetry.

    And positivity.

    But then I remembered who I am and who you are and hell yeah.
    Motherfuckers is as positively poetic as it gets.

    Hooray, weather whiskers.
    And hooray, you.

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    1. I love weather Whiskers, and you, but not in that order.

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  2. Weather Whiskers has changed my life. I'll always be grateful to you for this. xoxo

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    1. Tracy, it makes me smile ALL THE TIME. And so do you. xoxxoxo

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  3. I'm sorry to hear that you lost your job. That sucks right before the holidays.

    Can you do my Christmas shopping? You can do this job from your couch.

    I loaded Weather Wishers but didn't know that I had to turn the volume on. Must try when I leave work.

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    1. GrandeMocha, I'll do your shopping, as long as it's online. Job loss sucks, but focusing on the positive. SLEEPING IN!

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  4. I thought that said, "I'm trapped in the cedar closet" which would make things significantly worse.

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    1. It would, except there's probably enough in there that I could survive for a while.

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  5. Possible road trip? My side of the state is fabulous this time of the year - I know because I now also have Weather Whiskers.

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    1. That would be awesome, except for my terror of highway driving. Stupid panic attacks.

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  6. I also downloaded Weather Whiskers because of you, and I don't even really like cats. THAT is the scope of your power. Good luck with the job situation and rock that memoir!!!

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    1. Thanks, Julie! I'm working on it. And I'm feeling kind of good about my powers.

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  7. Welcome to the club - my layoff experience is now known around these parts as The Ritualistic Shitcanning of '01. I was 9 months pregnant and it was also early December, so that was super fun. All I can say is, things happen for a reason, and also, when people say cheerful stuff like that to you right now, feel free to hate and despise them. But it's true. I'll keep my fingers crossed and send my job hunting karma your way. Though not too quickly, because I want you to write that memoir first so I can read it. xoxoxo

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    1. Nancy - I'm on it. I'm hoping to get through the holidays with a completed proposal.

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  8. I'm secretly happy you finally get to breathe.

    Yay universe, for taking care of my girl.

    Love you, suni, like rose quartz love. xo

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Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.