Wednesday, December 11, 2013

This is not the analogy you're looking for.

With my new-found free time, and my inability to just laze around for days [god, I miss my teenage years], I have spent the past jobless week taking care of things that I have put off for an embarrassing amount of time.

One of those things is finding a new faucet for the bathroom sink. Ours has been dripping since the Eisenhower Administration, and I finally ran out of reasons to not deal with it.

I ended up going to 2 different home supply stores, which caused unbelievable anxiety so intense it deserves its own post. But the bright side was talking to the helpful sales people, and enjoying conversational nuggets like the following:

Me: Hi, can you help me? I'm trying to find a new bathroom faucet.

Handy Old Guy: Sure. What do you need?

Me: Well, first, what's the difference between this brand and that one?

Handy Old Guy:  [Pause] Well, it's like the difference between a Volkswagen and a Cadillac.

I immediately thought: So, the difference between solid German engineering that will last forever and flashy American crap that I'll have to replace in a couple of years?

And then I realized that I was talking to an Old Guy in a suburb of Detroit, and that was probably not the analogy he was going for.

I picked the Cadillac faucet, FYI.


  1. If you're bored, come for a visit! Just a thought.

  2. You made the mistake of not thinking that this was 1965.

  3. Of course you bought the Cadillac. My answer for every question is, "Take it back and get the more expensive one. They always fit better!"

    Happy fucking holidays indeed!!!


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