Thursday, May 22, 2014

You probably should not be reading this. I apologize in advance.

I've been watching Hart of Dixie. No, I don't care what you think of me. Anyway, the other day I got to the last episode of the first season and SPOILER ALERT Zoe has sex with Wade and then George shows up and tells her he likes her and then he kisses her, but doesn't realize that Zoe has just slept with Wade and all I'm thinking is, "Doesn't he taste Wade's cock on her mouth?"

This is where my mind goes.

And not only does my mind go there, but I have the compulsion to TELL people that that's where my mind goes.

I'm a delight and am available for parties. You will not regret this.

The hilarious thing is that I try - really, I do try - to maintain a level of decorum when I interact with people. Particularly when I first interact with people. This is why, a lot of times, people meet me and think I'm very reserved and proper and maybe a little snotty. I'm not, though. I'm sincerely interested in what you're saying [if you're interesting - if you're dull and stupid, that's all on you and I have no regrets about appearing reserved and snotty], but the problem is that while I'm listening to what you're saying, I'm working VERY FUCKING HARD to not pop out with a dick joke or say PEACE OUT, MOTHERFUCKERS when I leave or ask if you know what a Dirty Sanchez is and if you, like me, hope against hope that it's a completely made up thing because why would ANYONE EVER do that? Seriously? WHY? [Not linking, because ugh.]

Anyway, are you watching Hart of Dixie? Why not? You have to, because it is Rachel Bilson as a cardio-thoracic surgeon turned general practitioner who wears SHORT SHORTS to work. IT IS SUBLIME. Also, if you can, DVR the entire 3rd season for me, because I don't have cable and Hulu only goes back like the last 5 episodes, so I don't even know how the third season starts and WHY IS MY LIFE SO HARD. UGH.

Seriously. Does George not taste Wade's dick?


  1. outrageous. love it. and you.

  2. I think I just fell in love with you. True story.

  3. Fuck decorum. I like to tell people that :)

    I've never even heard of Heart of Dixie, so I don't know know anything about any of the characters. But, there aren't a whole lot of men who know what cock actually tastes like, so, for all the kissing dude knew, the chick had just been eating some salty chicken.

  4. I like Commenter John. He has so much to teach.

  5. I'll save you the trouble of asking:
    I totally know what a Dirty Sanchez is.

    PS: That color you used to highlight the spoiler alert is my favorite. Apropos of nothing.


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.