Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Friday night is for relaxing, right? Sure it is.

How was your Friday night?

Mine was terrible, thanks.

I got stung by a wasp that was IN MY HAIR.

I fucking hate nature.

Yeah, so I thought I'd be a grown up and go to the market to get some fresh fruits and veggies to make for dinner. Instead, I end up getting stung, having a panic attack, going to urgent care, and also involving my neighbor.

The husband was at work, and was going to be late. I drove home from the market, and, for who knows what reason, I reached into my purse for something. I felt a pretty painful jab, but figured it was the teeth on the zipper of my bag snagging my forearm.  What else could it possibly be, right?

My right arm and hand started feeling funny and weird - buzzy and tense and ache-y - but I thought it was maybe because I pack-mule carried too many bags to my car. I kept flexing my arm and fingers and looked for a cut or something, but I didn't see anything. Also, I was driving, so I wasn't looking too close.

I pulled into the garage and turned off the car and, because I am vain and always want to look at myself, check the rearview mirror. And there is a wasp. IN. MY. HAIR.

I screamed.

And realized I didn't get snagged by my zipper, I got stung.

And then I really started panicking, because I had been stung by a wasp, and it was in my hair, and I was alone having to deal with this.

I debated just laying down and dying, but my manicure was pretty terrible, and also there were a lot of groceries in the car and I didn't want to waste that money.

For half a second, I thought about just pulling the wasp out of my hair, but then realized that was the height of foolishness.

So I took my keys and opened the car door, and nudged the wasp onto my keys, which I immediately shook outside the car and then slammed the door shut.

And continued to panic.

I called the husband, who told me to go to urgent care, except neither of us knew where one was.  He told me to go next door and ask the neighbor for help. I didn't want to, because I was having a panic attack and a wasp had been in my hair, and there is only so much foolishness I want to share with people who I see on a daily basis.

In the end, I went next door, and my nice neighbor drove me to the urgent care. Probably the most comical part was getting in and out of his very giant truck. I am not tall. It was like practicing the high jump.

Then at the urgent care, they put me in the pediatrics room. I'd like to think that it was because it was the only room available, but it was probably because I was a big fucking baby.

I managed to calm down, finally, and because I tend to end up with double size reactions to bee stings, I got some steroids for the sting.  The after effects of the panic attack and a nice dose of Benadryl, and I was asleep by 9pm.

Next Friday night? Taco Goddamn Bell for dinner.


  1. Oh my sweet friend...that is too much for ANY Friday night. FUCK. I'm so sorry.

    And a wasp in your hair...what the everloving F*&^%?

    Hugging you from here.


    Glad things weren't worse . . . that sounds unbelievably scary :(


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