How are you not eating this already?

Oh my god, you guys. It is still stupid cold. SINGLE DIGIT WIND CHILL. IT IS MARCH, ASSHOLES, WTF.

This weather makes my heart full of hate. BUT. I'm all about positivity lately, so I'm focusing on the silver lining:  Cold weather = Perfect homemade bread weather.

Remember when I told you to start making the New York Times No Knead Bread? Do you remember?

Have you started making it yet? WHY NOT?

Are you looking at this bread? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

It's almost Spring - soon it will be too warm to enjoy delicious homemade bread [that is a lie, it is never too warm for that]. You need to hurry up and make this now. I'm making another batch this week [I've only been averaging a loaf per week, because we are only two people, only one of whom really eats this bread* as the other is a weirdo who doesn't think bread is important. I am questioning his very sanity.].

I made a loaf with chopped kalamata olives in it last week. It was, unsurprisingly, delicious. I added it during the last rise and am now thinking of other delicious things to put in it. Feta, maybe. Or chocolate chips. Not together, but individually. I'm sure either way it'll be fantastic.

Anyway, here is the link to the recipe, so go make it. NOW. There are 4 ingredients and all you have to do is stir them. That's it.

God. You're lazy for not clicking the link. Here's the recipe:

New York Times No Knead Bread
3 cups flour
1 1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp yeast
1 1/2 cups water [or a little more]

1. Put the ingredients in a big bowl.
2. Stir. It should look a bit shaggy - not like a smooth ball of dough. [Don't get bent about too much or too little water. I've done both, and it's been fine.]
3. Cover with some plastic wrap and a tea towel.
4. Let it sit at least 12 hours - I usually end up at about 24 hours.
5. Preheat Dutch oven or one of those covered roasters in the oven at 450 for 20 minutes.

HERE IS WHERE I CHANGE STUFF UP:
6. While the oven and baking thing are heating, dump the dough onto a floured piece of parchment paper.
7. Add whatever you want to add - or nothing.
8. Make the dough into a ball so it's all covered with flour.
9. Cut across the top of your dough ball in an X shape.
10. Cover with plastic wrap and tea towel.

BACK TO THE NYTIMES RECIPE
11. When the Dutch oven is preheated, take it out of the oven and dump the ball o' dough into the pot.
12. Shake the pot so the dough ball is centered.
13. Cover and bake for about 30 minutes.
14. Take the lid off and bake for another 15 minutes or so. Maybe less, depending on your oven.
15. Take the bread out of the Dutch oven - I just use the oven mitts - and put it on a cooling rack.

EAT. EAT IT ALL.

I'm going start a loaf right now and then curl up under my fuzzy blanket and read. Because it is so stupid cold and also, stirring is exhausting.

________________

I wish the internet had smells. But only in this instance.

* I've only been eating a few slices per loaf and either giving away the rest or putting slices in the freezer to eat later. Because the bread is so easy to make and so stupidly delicious when it's warm out of the oven, I just end up making a new loaf when I feel the hunger starting. My freezer is about 64% Ziploc-bagged bread slices right now, and I don't care. Seriously. Look at that >>>
Are you trying to tell me you aren't going nuts to eat that? If not, I don't think we can be friends.

A fevered brain.

I got sick over the weekend, but it didn't keep me from having thoughts and wanting to share them with you:

Saturday Thoughts
What the fuck with this snow?  I feel like I should go run around in it and enjoy it instead of complaining about it constantly, but you know what? Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so ABSENT YOURSELF, SNOW. JUST FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

That NY Times no-knead bread recipe is fucking ridiculously delicious. I am not going to lie, I made it twice in one week and begrudged sharing it with the husband. It is stupid good. Go make some. Now. Today. GO.


Sunday Thoughts
Bruno Mars did a nice job at the Super Bowl Half-Time Extravaganza. Of course, I'm a sucker for choreography and shiny jackets.

I miss Flea's stuffed animal head pants. And I'm a little sad/surprised no one rocked out with their cock out.

I missed the Coca Cola commercial, but caught the controversy. What the fuck? If you are upset about that [I finally saw it, and it tugged my bitter heartstrings] then you go straight to hell. Not my version of hell, where the fabulous people go. A Dante's Inferno version of hell. Or where Pat Roberston thinks people go. You go straight there and don't come back. [I love Jacquelyn Bisset's mom.]

Even the husband, who is markedly slow to rile up [I mean, he is married to me, right? That takes some phenomenal patience], lost it when I told him about the nutters who were pissed about the commercial. "Fuck those people, I hope they choke on their Pepsi and die!" is probably the nicest thing he had to say during his extended diatribe.

You can see why we're married, right?

Monday Thoughts
I started therapy with a new therapist. She seems ok. We'll see how it goes. I didn't have that instant connection, but that may have been the sinus and ear infection.

Is it weird that I'm worried about curing myself of some of my anxieties and phobias? Like I'm losing a part of myself that I don't particularly like, but has been there for a good long while? Like a mullet.

I picked up the latest Flavia de Luce book - are you reading these? They are great. Go read them. Now.

I'm finishing up Bring Up the Bodies [it's about Thomas Cromwell & Henry VIII & Anne Boylen], and I very much like it. HOWEVER, as I'm reading it, Lorde's Royals keeps going through my head, which I like the song, but it gets kind of annoying after a while. Particularly because my mind keeps misstating the lyrics as:

Let me be your ruler
You can call me cream cheese
And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule.
Let me live that fantasy

It won't stop.