Tuesday, March 25, 2014

How are you not eating this already?

Oh my god, you guys. It is still stupid cold. SINGLE DIGIT WIND CHILL. IT IS MARCH, ASSHOLES, WTF.

This weather makes my heart full of hate. BUT. I'm all about positivity lately, so I'm focusing on the silver lining:  Cold weather = Perfect homemade bread weather.

Remember when I told you to start making the New York Times No Knead Bread? Do you remember?

Have you started making it yet? WHY NOT?

Are you looking at this bread? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
It's almost Spring - soon it will be too warm to enjoy delicious homemade bread [that is a lie, it is never too warm for that]. You need to hurry up and make this now. I'm making another batch this week [I've only been averaging a loaf per week, because we are only two people, only one of whom really eats this bread* as the other is a weirdo who doesn't think bread is important. I am questioning his very sanity.].

I made a loaf with chopped kalamata olives in it last week. It was, unsurprisingly, delicious. I added it during the last rise and am now thinking of other delicious things to put in it. Feta, maybe. Or chocolate chips. Not together, but individually. I'm sure either way it'll be fantastic.

Anyway, here is the link to the recipe, so go make it. NOW. There are 4 ingredients and all you have to do is stir them. That's it.

God. You're lazy for not clicking the link. Here's the recipe:

New York Times No Knead Bread
3 cups flour
1 1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp yeast
1 1/2 cups water [or a little more]

1. Put the ingredients in a big bowl.
2. Stir. It should look a bit shaggy - not like a smooth ball of dough. [Don't get bent about too much or too little water. I've done both, and it's been fine.]
3. Cover with some plastic wrap and a tea towel.
4. Let it sit at least 12 hours - I usually end up at about 24 hours.
5. Preheat Dutch oven or one of those covered roasters in the oven at 450 for 20 minutes.

6. While the oven and baking thing are heating, dump the dough onto a floured piece of parchment paper.
7. Add whatever you want to add - or nothing.
8. Make the dough into a ball so it's all covered with flour.
9. Cut across the top of your dough ball in an X shape.
10. Cover with plastic wrap and tea towel.

11. When the Dutch oven is preheated, take it out of the oven and dump the ball o' dough into the pot.
12. Shake the pot so the dough ball is centered.
13. Cover and bake for about 30 minutes.
14. Take the lid off and bake for another 15 minutes or so. Maybe less, depending on your oven.
15. Take the bread out of the Dutch oven - I just use the oven mitts - and put it on a cooling rack.


I'm going start a loaf right now and then curl up under my fuzzy blanket and read. Because it is so stupid cold and also, stirring is exhausting.

I wish the internet had smells. But only in this instance.
* I've only been eating a few slices per loaf and either giving away the rest or putting slices in the freezer to eat later. Because the bread is so easy to make and so stupidly delicious when it's warm out of the oven, I just end up making a new loaf when I feel the hunger starting. My freezer is about 64% Ziploc-bagged bread slices right now, and I don't care. Seriously. Look at that >>>
Are you trying to tell me you aren't going nuts to eat that? If not, I don't think we can be friends.


  1. You said: "EAT. EAT IT ALL."

    LMAO.... I had a lot of weird ideas crossing my mind but I finally got to what you were saying. :)

    ANYWAYS, I myself love bread. I can never have enough of it and whomever said to you that it is not important, I question his sanity myself too.

  2. So for baking/cooking nimrods (like I am) who don't have a dutch oven or know what a covered roster is (does this make me really dumb?) can I just use a big oval pot with a lid?

    Wish I were kidding. But I'm not kidding. I'm also not not hungry.

  3. Holy. Shit. This might change my life.

  4. you could send me some of your frozen bread and then I wouldn't have to stir anything or leave my blanket. That could be cool.

  5. I have made this bread, and it is crazy easy. I am also craving beer bread I can make in my totally retro 90s bread machine.

  6. I'm so glad you reposted this. I meant to make it after I read your first post. But I mean to do a lot of things. This time I will try harder.


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.