It's What's Inside You That Counts

So far this week I've:

• Gotten soap in my eye while washing my face. So much soap that, hours later, after the burning, there was a big white globule on the inside corner of my eye. A big white globule of SOAP. Disgusting.
  
• Snorked up water while I was rinsing my hair in the shower. I know Aveda products are supposed to be all "natural"-like, but that shit burned my sinuses.
  
• Whacked my eyeball with an Aveda product laden strand of hair. That also burned. I'm trusting Aveda less and less.
• Swallowed a bit of Listerine. It tasted like burning.

It's been a long week.