1. Buick is the Official Car of the olds. Seriously. I feel myself sucked into the blinker-leaving-on, 35-mph-in-a-45-zone, lane-weaving vortex of old people anytime I see one of those beige [and they are ALWAYS beige - what, is there no other color, Buick? Are you trying to soothe the other drivers on the road or hide the shitty driving behind a theoretically innocuous color?] behemoths. I hate that car.
2. There is a special place in hell for people who go by Dr. Snotty McIdiot when they are not medical physicians. I'll let dentists have the honorific. But PhDs? Nope. And I say this as someone who HAS a doctorate. When someone asks for a doctor, they do not mean they need help from someone who spent five years parsing the meaning of the use of a trebuchet v. a catapult in warfare. They are generally looking for someone to help staunch the bleeding.
2.a. This goes double for people who then refer to themselves in the third person as Dr. Snotty McIdiot.
2.b. There may be special dispensation for Dr. Stephen Colbert, D.F.A., depending on my mood that day.
2.c. I'm divided on its use in the classroom. I guess it's o.k. We'll see.
3. This is what happens when you don't regulate and don't put teeth in the regulators: Oil refineries fucking the coastline; mining companies fucking the planet and their workers; banks fucking homeowners and the regulators; fucking fuckery.
4. I have an intense distaste for morning shows - any news show, really - where they push their cameras into the grief of families dealing with a loss. Give people some privacy and some respect.
5. Can Sex in whatever please just go away now? It is the most offensive show, ever. Bad writing, bad acting, really, really, REALLY bad fashion. Just stop.
6. I smashed my head into the fridge this morning. That felt great.
My grandparents had a beige Buick in the early 80s. When they upgraded to a gray Crown Victoria (naturally), they gave it to my dad, who tied the bumper on with twine. True story.
ReplyDeleteThe officialest car of the olds might be Oldsmobile, though. I mean, the name sort of says it all.
I LOVE that your dad used twine! That's so awesome. Parents rule.
ReplyDeleteYou may be right about the Oldsmobile - it is delightful and synchronous, but here in the Detroit area, it's All Beige All Buick All The Time.