Numerically Speaking

1. I FINALLY figured out why, when I listen to Kid Rock's Cowboy on the regular radio, they do this:
I'm gonna paint the town red 
And paint his wife [EDIT] 
Kid Rock actually says "white" and I could NOT, for the life of me, figure out why the FCC would demand that the word white is edited out of a song.
Paint her white to be part of the KKK? [Edit because the KKK is racist?] 
Paint her white to be a ghost? [Edit because ghosts are racist?]
And then, the other day as I was driving home, I had an epiphany - paint her white with SPOOGE! Right?
It's the only thing that makes marginal sense.

[I still don't understand why Eminem is edited when he raps in "Lose Yourself" about
These hoes {which I actually thought was "his boss"-thanks, metrolyrics.com!} don't want him no mo', he's cold (EDIT/product)
Because what does that mean? Cold product? He can't get a boner? Poor Eminem.]

2. I truly could not be less interested in Sex and the City - read Candace Bushnell's book years ago and was appalled at how terrible it was, so I never watched the show or the other movie. That being said, I have become nearly obsessed with reading reviews of how awful the new movie is. Part of me is deliciously schadenfreud-y. Another part is wondering why everyone is so late to the party. Still another part of me is wondering what, exactly, people expected from this brand.  Why the surprise?

3. I have so much cockadoodie work to do that I am pretty close to panicking. I'm marginally closer to going fetal and taking a nap. What I should do is edge myself closer to the point where I shower and become a productive person, but that couch is calling me. I've already put in what feels like a full day. I should unionize and make sure I get time and a half for the rest of it.

4. I have several packets of seeds [flowers AND vegetables, impressive, right? It's like I'm Amish!] sitting in my office, waiting to be planted. I keep telling myself that I'm waiting to make sure there isn't another freeze, but after this week's 85+ weather, I think I'm kidding myself.

Oh!  Brilliant plan!  Make the girl plant them.  That way, she's getting involved in nature and learning a skill, and I don't have to get uber-cranky because the outdoors is trying to touch me.

5. I don't have a number 5. I just feel like a list of 5 things is marginally more imposing than a list of 4 things.  Even if the 5th thing is random and none of the other 4 things actually go together. Perhaps I am fooling myself. Perhaps.