Finally. Finally over.

And this is the kind of stuff that made this past week so amazing. By amazing I mean here I am, none the worse for wear.  Or completely worn down by life.  It's 50/50.

• My mother and my sister constantly harangue me about how easy it is to make hummus. "Just put the chick peas in the blah blah blah" my ears shut down.  I'm sure it's easy; there are only a few ingredients.  You know what's easier?  OPENING A FUCKING TUB OF HUMMUS.  Except for this week, when I bought a goddamn tub of hummus and got it home and was so excited to have pita chips & hummus for lunch and then I opened the tub and the plastic seal had been broken.  FUCK.  So then I had to return that tub of hummus - which I didn't have time to do until the NEXT DAY! I HAD A HUMMUS-LESS LUNCH. SO FUCKING SAD - and get a non-potentially poisoned one.  So yes, Mom and Sister, I guess it technically would have been easier in THAT instance to make hummus.  But that doesn't make it right.
• I was watching the Daily Show [hi Jon! Love you!] and John C. Reilly was on talking about some movie he's in with Marisa Tomei.  All I kept thinking was really?  Marisa Tomei + John C. Reilly?  Really?  And then I remembered on Seinfeld where she purportedly liked George Costanza.  So Marisa Tomei + John C. Reilly / George Costanza = Retribution for winning that Oscar in 1992.  That's my theory.
• Earlier this week I almost died from yardwork.  My sister [perhaps you remember her from the first bullet point?] decided that we were planting a garden in my backyard.  HOLY FUCK, PEOPLE.  Farming is hard ass work.  I didn't even have a donkey or anything, so I was possibly even MORE Amish than the Amish.  You know what?  I WAS more Amish than the Amish, because for a while, I was working by myself - during the hard part, the digging of the grass.  It was me and the shovel, digging up a [really, very small maybe 3' x 6'] patch of grass.  IT WAS SO FUCKING HARD.  I was wiped out.  But we plopped down manure [not our own! Gross!  BAGGED manure, jeez.] and hoed the rows and spread the seeds, and those bastardly bastard animals that haunt our yard because I don't use pesticides better stay the shit out of my garden.  We planted cantaloupes, basil, green beans, cucumbers, lettuce, carrots, tomatoes, banana peppers and marigolds, because those ostensibly keep the freeloading animals away.  There are already some things sprouting up.  I'm assuming they are vegetables, but they may well be weeds.  I guess I'll find out when I try to make a salad.

Eh, that's all I have right now.  I had some more stuff to share, but I made the mistake of writing it down on a piece of paper that is now buried in my 5" high pile of things to look through.  I'm sure it was all quite fascinating, though.