It took me a number of years to realize that we'd grown apart. I kept her in my loop, and it slowly began to dawn on me that I wasn't in hers.
It hurt, so badly, to realize that I wasn't as important a part of her life as I thought I was. As she was to me.
We had a very, very close friendship. Everyone though of us as a unit. It's still painful and embarrassing to me when people who know us / knew us ask if I've seen or heard from her lately. I haven't. Not for a few years.
I know people grow apart. I know that. I've lost touch with people.
I just never thought it would be with her.
I can't believe it, sometimes, that it was so easy for her to just stop calling. To stop writing. But I guess it was.
I could only go on with things being one-sided for so long. And then I stopped reaching out.
And it ended.
I miss her still. Or who I thought she was to me.
I know exactly how that feels and it sucks monkey balls. I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteAndy, it's weird, isn't it? How painful the loss of a friend is? Sorry you had to deal with this, too.
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate. I actually got really choKed up reading this post. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI always wonder what I did to deserve unfriendship, it really is hurtful.
ReplyDeleteI wrote on this prompt, too.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard, isn't it?
Tonya, I hate that you can relate. I got a bit choked up writing it. It still pains me.
ReplyDeleteAngelia, Yes. I wonder that, too. What did I do? No explanation. Nothing.
MaryPoppins, It's so hard to deal with, even years later.
I know how you feel! I had a friend that I cared very much about. And it took me a long time to realize that she obviously never cared about me. It sucks.
ReplyDeleteI hate it when perception and reality are at odds with each other.
ReplyDeleteI don't know about you, but I always second-guess myself - why was my perception so far off? When did I become such a terrible judge of character? How could someone mean the world to me, and I mean nothing to her?
Sigh.
Caitlin, Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I hate that moment of realization. But it's not even a moment, is it? It's waves.
ReplyDeleteAlone - I do that too! I totally think it was me, my fault, that I was to blame. I have to remind myself that I make the best choices I could.