Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Really? A National Merit Scholar?

I'm pretty smart.  No.  Stop laughing.  I am.  SERIOUSLY, stop laughing.

Well, I'm smart, but then I am DUMB DUMB DUM.

Here are some examples of The Dumb:
  1. My boobs are kind of achey from PMS.  So what do I do?  I KEEP TOUCHING THEM, of course, to see if they are still achey.  Which they are.  STILL.  Five minutes later.
  2. When the cats are whining outside the girl's bedroom door and she's still asleep and I want them to SHUT IT and not wake her up, I YELL AT the cats to be quiet.  Because obviously, she won't hear that.
  3. I keep volunteering for stuff even though every time I do it, I say, "THIS IS THE LAST FUCKING TIME I'M DOING THIS."  What's that quote about insanity and doing the same thing over and over?  Yeah.
  4. I am IMPATIENT.  And so sometimes, when I'm making soup or noodles for the girl, I forget that I'm supposed to wait for the water to boil BEFORE I put the noodles in.  So I dump noodles in placid water and walk away.  I've made glue more than once.
  5. I know I'm not supposed to eat flour because my head will hurt and my pancreas will go kerflooey and yet I do it anyway sometimes because that pasta with veggies looks so fucking delicious.

You know when I'm not dumb?  NOW!

The delightful people behind Secret Society of List Addicts were cool enough to ask for guest posts and guess who got one?


Head on over and read my List!  It's as awesome as you think it would be.


  1. ooh! I am going to go read the awesome list!

    I love lists. I am a list addict. How do I not know about this website?

    Holding out on me, eh?


  2. I totes do #1. I think it's prob cuz secretly I just like touching my boobs.

    also? my captcha is pooffses. I think that's appropriate.

  3. Lori - sorry for holding out on you, but it's a SECRET society. What could I do?

    Andygirl - I think that may be my thing, too. Also, pooffses is hilarious.

  4. ha ha, boobs. also, i'm totally baffled by the pasta thing. i'm trying to work out how that happens. like, before the water boils? unthinkable! :)

  5. Becky - boobs are awesome. I have no excuse for the pasta thing. Once, sure, that's a mistake. MORE THAN ONCE? That's DUMB.

  6. I don't think that #5 is necessarily dumb. I'm lactose intolerant but still eat dairy. Sometimes you just have to show certain food stuffs that you aren't intimidated by them by eating them.

  7. Amber, I like your idea better. I'm not dumb, I'm showing flour who's boss. SUCK IT, processed grains!


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.