Wednesday, September 1, 2010

I feel pretty, oh so pretty . . . pretty vacant.

I just spent the better part of an hour playing make up with the girl.  This is what I do when I have no work.  Instead of cleaning or organizing or even venturing out into the heat to run errands, I spend quality time with my child.  And a LOT of makeup.

She's at that age where she's already discovered makeup but now wants to have a "look".  Which is cool and fine by me, but my look was [and, who am I kidding, still is] black eyeliner, black mascara and red lipstick [o.k. I've swapped out the red lipstick for a deeper berry color for day, and sometimes I wear dark blue or brown eyeliner, but it's basically the same thing].  So, I have to pretend to know what I'm doing. 

I'd do her eyes and she'd check them out and then remove the makeup so we could go with another color combo.  In the meantime, I'd try out the eleventy different lipsticks in my drawer trying to find one to replace my beloved, discontinued Clinique Berrylicious - which I cannot find ANYWHERE. I'm going with A Different Grape for day and Crushed Grape for sluttier day, in case you're wondering.

It's weird, the things you'll find yourself doing as a parent.  I mean, I hadn't really thought much about having a kid, parenting-wise, beyond the whole No spanking and Eat your vegetables and No television, o.k., except Arthur thing. [Have you watched Arthur? It's awesome.  Really. I would sometimes watch it while the girl was napping.]

Anyway, there are all sorts of things that come up when suddenly you find yourself parenting a teenager that you hadn't necessarily planned out.  Like who she is allowed to friend on Facebook [only people I know; she has a disclaimer on her FB page telling people that that's my rule], and how late can she text her friends [10pm on a weekend, 9pm during school], and when can she wear makeup to school [now?] and can she be a vegetarian [as long as we don't have to hear about our meat-eating proclivities] and
how short can the shorts be that she's wearing [yeah, that's too short].

It's actually the last thing that's been bugging me.  I'm trying to be as sex-positive and non-stereotyping a mom as I can be, but it's still awkward for me [and heart attack inducing in my husband] when the girl will wear tiny shorts.  I don't want her to feel bad about herself or her body or fall into the whole dress like a whore, act like a whore thing.  Or even have the idea of promiscuity necessarily be a bad thing.

I want her to feel good about herself and not circumscribe her behavior, but I also feel like I still need to protect her, which I do, I know, but I don't want her to buy into societal norms.  It's a great experiment, parenting, and I will be much, much happier when she's in college and can stretch her boundaries there with everyone else who is throwing off the shackles of parental and societal tyranny.

In the meantime, I've decided that the short shorts are o.k. when she's out playing in the heat, but if we're going somewhere, it's the burka.


  1. burka. snort.

    yeah, I don't know what to tell you. I still feel like a teenager myself most days. I don't know what I'd do if I had one. maybe get pedicures and make prank calls together.

  2. Arthur is a great show.

    I think your decision on shorts is a good one.

  3. Andygirl - I think that's part of the problem - my emotional maturity is sometimes that of a teenage girl.

    Jen - Isn't it? DW is my favorite! Thanks for the support on the shorts decision.

  4. I'm not letting my kid become a teenager! He is already snarky & overly dramatic. I'm not sure which one of us will live through those years, but I'm betting not both.

  5. A friend who has a boy and a girl said that the boy's moodiness was MUCH MUCH worse.

    I'm not sure if I believe her some days.

    Good luck to us both!

  6. When I was little, I told my mom I was sad that I have a freckle on my lip. And she said, "Don't worry, you'll wear lipstick one day, and it'll be totally covered up." But that was a big fat lie, because I turned out to be gay and the only thing that that these lips come in contact with are chapstick.

    Umm. I forgot my point. Maybe I didn't have one.

  7. Alonewithcats - Hmmm . . . I think freckled lips are cool.

    Also, can't you be one of those, whaddayacallit? Lipstick Lesbians? See? Problem solved.


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