Thursday, September 2, 2010

Wow. You are so annoying.

Dear Gwenyth Paltrow:

I'm not so sure what it is about you, but you really rub me the wrong way.

Maybe it was the undeserved win for Shakespeare in Love [did you see that movie after you made it? Not that great.  And even you have to admit that you are nowhere near being in Cate Blanchett's or Meryl Streep's league. Although you are pretty full of yourself, so maybe not.].

Maybe it was when I first realized how out of touch with real life you are.  I was at the doctor or dentist, reading People or something and in the letters to the editor [those are my favorites in any magazine or newspaper, because even if I haven't read the previous issue or know what the person who is writing is all bent about, they are ENTERTAINING], people were blasting your for blathering on about how you needed to take at least a year off from work to recover from your father's death [sorry for your loss.  Really.  Sorry, that sucks.] and one of People's readers wrote in and said, in effect, "Must be nice.  My father died and I had to go back to work two days later."

Maybe it was when you decided to be BFFs with Madonna [ugh, really?].

Maybe it was when you decided you were also a singer [seriously? TWO movies where you sing? You are NOT Julie Andrews.].

For sure, it was when you were cast as Sylvia Plath in that movie that no one saw.  You? As Sylvia Plath? Angsty women and teenage girls everywhere are STILL pissed that that happened.

For sure, it was when you thought you could be Emma.  You are not Emma.  Alicia Silverstone is WAY more qualified to be Emma than you.  WAY MORE.  Jane Austen?  Not one of your fans.  I know this to be true.

For sure, it's the whole GOOP phenomenon [no, I'm not linking.  I hate it that much.].  Of all the ridiculous things that I've ever heard of, this tops it.  How do you give this type of "lifestyle" advice and not want to punch yourself for being so vapid?

Seriously.  Go home, continue making movies I have no interest in, and I'll ignore you as much as I usually do.  Just stop trying to insinuate yourself into my world.

Best,

Suniverse


Mama's Losin' It

28 comments:

  1. Ohmygoodness! Ohmygoodness! Ohmygoodness! I could NOT agree more! What about her cooking/ eating/book tour with Mario Batali? What the...? I thought she was some weird, macro-biotic, raw-food, only eat things that she herself pulled from the ground kinda gal? When did alfredo sauce fit into that category? Grrrr... If you haven't mailed this to her yet, let me know...I'll send a you a stamp so that you can :-)

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  2. Pamtastic, I'm so glad you agree. I didn't know about the whole Mario Batali thing. That is so many kinds of crazy. I should mail this!

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  3. Wow, I couldn't agree more. I was actually an extra in a movie she was in once and boy howdy is she a witch. She was standing around going, "Are we Dooooonnne yet? Ugh... I'm SOOOO over this!" She consistently turned up her nose at us lowly extras.

    It really makes me laugh that she portrays herself as this "worldly" person when really, she's a spoiled brat.

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  4. Visiting from Mama Kats...

    Wow ... that is some deep animosity toward a star I barely pay attention to. Now I'm annoyed by her too.

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  5. Now?

    I'm gonna have to pay attention to Ms. Paltrow.

    Just to see this annoyance myself.

    Crap...there's 30 seconds I'll never get back.

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  6. She had a fake English accent when she was dating Ben Afleck. Not sure if she is still rocking it?

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  7. P.S. WHY did you set your kid up for a lifetime of riddicule buy naming her Apple?

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  8. I love Alicia Silverstone in Clueless! Two permits do not equal a license. Everywhere you go there is valet so I don't need to learn to park.

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  9. Cecelia - You have vindicated me! I KNEW she was snotty. I KNEW IT.

    Jenners - Thanks for stopping by. Glad you'll join my in my state of annoyance.

    Cathyjoy - Sorry for the waste of time on GP. See? She's ALWAYS messing things up.

    GrandeMocha - OH! I forgot about the fake accent. SO WRETCHED. And Apple? Why do that to a child?

    LOVE LOVE LOVE that movie! It always makes me happy. And is SO QUOTABLE!
    Okay, so you're probably going, "Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?" But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl.

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  10. Wow! Such strong feelings toward a celebrity that doesn't usually get that much attention! Interesting!

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  11. Don't hate me, I loved Shakespeare in love, but for the Fiennes boy.

    GOOP, though?

    That shit pisses me off.

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  12. Okay, so I never really paid any attention to her before, but now I'm totally annoyed by her too!

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  13. I used to like her mom...

    If she has another kid is she naming him/her Orange? or Microsoft?

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  14. Hehehe...yes. On all points.

    And right up with her for me is Cameron Diaz.

    I don't know what it is about her.

    She drives me bloody nuts.

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  15. I became completely distracted when you mentioned Julie Andrews. Swoonsies.

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  16. Shelley - It's funny, a friend of mine likes her, and so I hear about her ALL THE TIME. Which just makes it worse.

    MaryPoppins - the Fiennes boy is good - he's no Ralph, but still good. GOOP makes me CRAZY.

    Natalie - thanks for coming over to the dark side!

    KathyR - I would LOVE IT if she named her kid Microsoft - totally feasible.

    MarthaPoints - Oooh. Cameron Diaz. GROSS.

    AloneWithCats - That was for you!!!

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  17. Wow, strong feelings for a bland blond I dont really give a flying fig about.

    Which I guess agress with your point that she gets rich and famous for what?

    And while I think she has been really good in some moves, she blew chunks in Shakespeare in Love.

    Blythe Danner is awesome, still cannot believe they are related!

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  18. I've found a kindred spirit on the Gwyneth loathing front! I couldn't help but write when I found out about GOOP either.

    http://linda075blog.blogspot.com/2009/03/goop-for-not-so-fabulous.html

    Have you seen her on that food show with Mario Bigfatchef? Annoying.

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  19. Sarah, We are RIGHTEOUS in our disdain!

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  20. As long as she shuts up, I don't care what she does. Maybe we can get her evicted permanently from the US.

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  21. Oh. My. God.

    Visited from Cecelia's site - then visited the link posted by Sarah Lindahl.

    Paltrow is obnoxious. Truly obnoxious. I'm betting that at least once a week, everyone in the blogosphere could come up with a way to remind Paltrow that there are other, real people in this world. I'll have to go to her site now (and lose 30 seconds! hee!) and see what annoying thing she thinks the rest of us mere mortals should do.

    I, too, liked Shakespeare in Love because of Fiennes. Still drooling.

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  22. Brahm, she is AWFUL. And deserves our disdain.

    KLZ, let's work on that eviction!

    Kathy, I like your idea. It could work. Don't you want to bleach your soul after looking at GOOP?

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  23. YES!

    Finally!

    I thought it was just me that couldn't stand her.

    SHe is so empty. Her gaze...just...empty.

    Can't stand her in movies, or videos...what is the deal, 'merica?

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  24. Came over through a post written by The Empress in March 2011...

    Hello, I came from the future! I would like to tell you that GP instead of stopped singing, actually starred in a movie as a country singer, sang all the songs herself, had an album out, and sang at Oscar. Oh, she also has a recurring role in this uber popular TV show called GLEE. She also sang a duet with a very popular rapper in some award show. The list goes on and on and on.

    I am dying to see you writing another letter to her.

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  25. I LOVE the word vapid! You used it in a most fitting way, lol.

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  26. YAY! You make me so happy! But this is distracting me from the cheesecake recipe I want to post. Que sera, sera...

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Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.