Dear Gwenyth Paltrow:
I'm not so sure what it is about you, but you really rub me the wrong way.
Maybe it was the undeserved win for Shakespeare in Love [did you see that movie after you made it? Not that great. And even you have to admit that you are nowhere near being in Cate Blanchett's or Meryl Streep's league. Although you are pretty full of yourself, so maybe not.].
Maybe it was when I first realized how out of touch with real life you are. I was at the doctor or dentist, reading People or something and in the letters to the editor [those are my favorites in any magazine or newspaper, because even if I haven't read the previous issue or know what the person who is writing is all bent about, they are ENTERTAINING], people were blasting your for blathering on about how you needed to take at least a year off from work to recover from your father's death [sorry for your loss. Really. Sorry, that sucks.] and one of People's readers wrote in and said, in effect, "Must be nice. My father died and I had to go back to work two days later."
Maybe it was when you decided to be BFFs with Madonna [ugh, really?].
Maybe it was when you decided you were also a singer [seriously? TWO movies where you sing? You are NOT Julie Andrews.].
For sure, it was when you were cast as Sylvia Plath in that movie that no one saw. You? As Sylvia Plath? Angsty women and teenage girls everywhere are STILL pissed that that happened.
For sure, it was when you thought you could be Emma. You are not Emma. Alicia Silverstone is WAY more qualified to be Emma than you. WAY MORE. Jane Austen? Not one of your fans. I know this to be true.
For sure, it's the whole GOOP phenomenon [no, I'm not linking. I hate it that much.]. Of all the ridiculous things that I've ever heard of, this tops it. How do you give this type of "lifestyle" advice and not want to punch yourself for being so vapid?
Seriously. Go home, continue making movies I have no interest in, and I'll ignore you as much as I usually do. Just stop trying to insinuate yourself into my world.