I have to say, your answers to yesterday's completely scientific psychological profile questionnaire made my heart sing. I feel much better being on your good sides.
In the spirit of sharing, I'll let you know that:
1. I pee. In the lake. Sometimes in the pool. I'm SORRY. I have to go.
2. BUTTER. Or Caramel.
3. I know I shouldn't, but I do find myself wishing ill upon people. And then immediately trying to take it back, because, you know, I don't want karma to kick my ass.
4. Right now, that would be Come on Irene. I HATE THAT SONG.
5. Diet Coke. How I miss you.
6. TRUE.
And now, on to the news of the week:
Anthony Weiner finally copped to showing his junk. And then held a tearful press conference where, to his credit, he did NOT make his wife stand by his side. I have to say, I'm no fan of uninvited pictures of people's privates, but as a scandal, this seems pretty tame. He didn't have sex with his twitter gals, there's no surprise 15 year old kid, and there are no diapers involved [honest to god, Louisianna, David Fucking Vitter RE-ELECTED? I get Laissez les bon temps rouler, but COME ON.].
Something weird is happening in Australia - the entire country is BOOZING LESS. Yes, evidently drinking levels are at a 62 year low. What's up, Australia? Did you ALL hit rock bottom at the same time? Is is Ramadan? Or Lent? Or is everyone doing some GP approved cleanse? WHAT IS GOING ON? Australia + Drunkeness = Match Made in Heaven!
In Montreal, people were injured in a protest of a police shooting. Huh. Anti-violence protesters went to the site where two people, one an innocent bystander, were killed. And then they went nuts and started smashing windows and overturned an outdoor portable toilet [eeewww. Why are you touching that, protesters?]. Go figure. Canada is becoming Americanized.
In Argentina, an ash cloud from the Puyehue volcano is covering much of the country. And Argentina's president said, yeah, the problems are just going to be psychological. No worries. Just like how in Japan, it's now been ascertained that the radiation levels in Fukushima were misstated. As being half as high as what they actually were. Um. I'm pretty sure that anytime anything bad happens, you shouldn't listen to the people in charge. They're going to lie to you. I mean, I'm no scientist, but even I know inhaling ash or a reactor exploding is probably not good for you.
And speaking of scientists: Scientists trap anti-matter! HOW FUCKING AWESOME! We can now kind of almost make the world implode! SCORE!
What have you got for me, my lovelies? What's new? What did I miss?
Showing posts with label Gwyneth K. Paltrow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gwyneth K. Paltrow. Show all posts
Friday, June 10, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
There is no reason these guys should still be making movies.
As I may have mentioned before, we watch a lot of movies. Not at the theater - no, we're pretty bad about actually organizing ourselves to get to a theater and see a movie before it hits video [we had high hopes for The King's Speech, especially when it was playing at a second run artsy-type theater nearby, but somehow the three of us could not get our schedules together for any one showing. Not that we're fabulous and have all kinds of cool stuff to do. Mostly because we commit to things we should do and no that we necessarily want to do. We suck that way.].
Where the hell was I?
Anyway, we watch a lot of movies and we also get Entertainment Weekly - because I enjoy reading about television shows I'd never, in a million years, watch. Not even when suffering from horrific insomnia. That's what DVDs are for. But because of this confluence of events, I tend to get info on what's happening in the movies and am able, because of my gimlet eye, to spot trends. And the one that I wish I hadn't is the ubiquity of crappy shit going on in films.
First of all, Paul Giamatti needs to stop making movies. Seriously. No more. I can't handle it. You know what? As shitty as Lady in the Water was, and it was horrifically bad [but not as bad as The Happening. I don't have the words for how bad that was.] I'm going on record as saying that it wasn't all M. Night Shyamalan's fault. Some of the blame goes to old Paul. Also? Stop casting him as romantic leads. And Revolutionary War guys. Just let him go raise llamas somewhere. That seems like something he'd do. [I can't explain my animosity toward him - while I will allow that he has done nothing untoward to piss me off, like some people who will not be named, he grates on me like chewing tinfoil.]
Second, another thing that needs to end is the sullying of the John Gotti legacy. You know what abomination is happening now? John Fucking Travolta is supposed to be playing John Gotti in some movie they're making.
No.
NO FUCKING WAY.
This?
Is nowhere NEAR as awesome as this:
It's kind of hurting my soul.
And finally, I have had about all I can stand of remakes. There is no reason for ANOTHER Charlie's Angels reboot - particularly since #MurderPartyStreetCrew already has its Bosley [yes, that's an arcane Twitter reference. It's my fucking blog. I can do what I want.]. Sure, guys dig watching chicks jiggle it, but they can probably choose from a thousand other shows that already have this oeuvre locked down. True, this doesn't quite fit in the doughy guy antipathy, but I bet it was some doughy guy came up with this idea.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to unwrap a hard candy and then blow my nose in the tissue I keep in the sleeve of my knee length cardigan.
Where the hell was I?
Anyway, we watch a lot of movies and we also get Entertainment Weekly - because I enjoy reading about television shows I'd never, in a million years, watch. Not even when suffering from horrific insomnia. That's what DVDs are for. But because of this confluence of events, I tend to get info on what's happening in the movies and am able, because of my gimlet eye, to spot trends. And the one that I wish I hadn't is the ubiquity of crappy shit going on in films.
First of all, Paul Giamatti needs to stop making movies. Seriously. No more. I can't handle it. You know what? As shitty as Lady in the Water was, and it was horrifically bad [but not as bad as The Happening. I don't have the words for how bad that was.] I'm going on record as saying that it wasn't all M. Night Shyamalan's fault. Some of the blame goes to old Paul. Also? Stop casting him as romantic leads. And Revolutionary War guys. Just let him go raise llamas somewhere. That seems like something he'd do. [I can't explain my animosity toward him - while I will allow that he has done nothing untoward to piss me off, like some people who will not be named, he grates on me like chewing tinfoil.]
Second, another thing that needs to end is the sullying of the John Gotti legacy. You know what abomination is happening now? John Fucking Travolta is supposed to be playing John Gotti in some movie they're making.
No.
NO FUCKING WAY.
This?
 |
| Aaaaayyyy. Wait. Do I think I'm The Fonz? Source. |
 |
| That's right, bitches. I'm John Motherfucking Gotti. Suck it. Source. |
And finally, I have had about all I can stand of remakes. There is no reason for ANOTHER Charlie's Angels reboot - particularly since #MurderPartyStreetCrew already has its Bosley [yes, that's an arcane Twitter reference. It's my fucking blog. I can do what I want.]. Sure, guys dig watching chicks jiggle it, but they can probably choose from a thousand other shows that already have this oeuvre locked down. True, this doesn't quite fit in the doughy guy antipathy, but I bet it was some doughy guy came up with this idea.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to unwrap a hard candy and then blow my nose in the tissue I keep in the sleeve of my knee length cardigan.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
And then I ate my own head. It tasted like chicken.
I tend to go from zero to starving in what seems like a nanosecond.
Like, so hungry that my mouth is watering while I'm cooking, and not in that mmmm . . . that smells appetizing way, but more in that If this was the Donner Party, I wouldn't even finish chopping this lettuce, I'd just start gnawing on the husband's arm way.
You know.
Hungry.
Part of it is that I make a meal from scratch 99.5% of the time. No, no - no accolades. It's not that I'm better than you or am trying to give She Who Must Not Be Named a run for her money in being smug about my eating practices [only organic fresh ground black pepper from my artisan pepper mill to grace my bowl of celery ceviche, thanks].
It's mostly that I'm pretty particular about what we eat, and we went through a patch where we couldn't afford to eat out and so I cooked. Every. Fucking. Day.
And then, as we got more solvent, the meals would become more elaborate. Not gold leaf instead of lettuce leaves elaborate, more like, Hey, we can have hot dogs AND hamburgers for dinner [Hebrew National and turkey burgers, thanks] tonight! elaborate.
Which brings me to last night.
I finally made my Incredible Blue Cheese Coleslaw - and it was absolutely worth waiting for.
Of course, I was starving, since I skipped breakfast and had a meager lunch, so not only was I drooling for coleslaw, I needed to feed the beast. Because FOOD IS GOOD AND DELICIOUS. And when I'm really hungry? It's like a Henry VIII feeding frenzy in this place.
Really.
It's embarrassing the amount of food I will prepare for 3 people. The cooking switch gets turned on and I cannot be stopped.
So in addition to coleslaw, I made potato salad and corn on the cob [6 for $1.99! I can't remember if that's a good price or highway robbery! Well done, market!] and sliced up a Vidalia onion for the grill and the husband made burgers and hot dogs and chicken apple Gouda sausages [oh, good lord, you must eat those]. I also made a nice plate of toppings for the burgers, which only I ate, because evidently the husband and the girl had no interest in greenery on their bacon cheeseburgers. [Of course there was bacon.]
We ate.
I ate.
And it was so. fucking. good.
******************
Here's the recipe:
Adapted from Ina Garten's Blue Cheese Cole Slaw Recipe - which is just as good. I'll give her that.
The Suniverse's Incredible Blue Cheese Cole Slaw
Serves: However many you want to let eat
1/2 small head red cabbage
1/4 - 1/2 cup mayo
1-2 TBSP apple cider vinegar [I've used red wine vinegar before & it's just as good]
1-2 TBSP spicy mustard
Black pepper
Celery salt
1/4-1/2 cup crumbled blue cheese
1. Rinse and chop cabbage. Sure, shredded cabbage looks nice, but it's a pain in the ass to eat flapping all over your mouth. I end up dicing it. No one's complained or died.
2. Put the cabbage in a large mixing bowl - larger than you'll think you need. Trust me.
3. Grab your car keys and head to the store - you didn't realize that you had about 2 TBSP of mayo in the jar in the fridge and NO BACK UP JAR in the pantry. This is nowhere near enough mayo for the slaw, potato salad and burgers. Swing by the grocery store nearest your house, which for some reason you never go to, and realize they've really spiffed the place up.
4. Vow to visit that grocery store more often.
5. Realize that's probably not going to happen because you're not a fan of that chain and be o.k. with that.
5. Back home, add the mayo, vinegar, mustard and seasonings to the cabbage. Stir to combine. Taste, and adjust seasonings. No, you don't need to taste that many times. Relax, it's almost dinner.
6. Add the crumbled blue cheese and stir.
Serve, and enjoy your addiction.
PS I would have posted a photo of the slaw, because I actually took a ton of pictures, except as I was uploading them to my computer, my camera battery died and I only have the one, so I got all the pictures on the camera EXCEPT of the slaw. Because of course.
Like, so hungry that my mouth is watering while I'm cooking, and not in that mmmm . . . that smells appetizing way, but more in that If this was the Donner Party, I wouldn't even finish chopping this lettuce, I'd just start gnawing on the husband's arm way.
You know.
Hungry.
Part of it is that I make a meal from scratch 99.5% of the time. No, no - no accolades. It's not that I'm better than you or am trying to give She Who Must Not Be Named a run for her money in being smug about my eating practices [only organic fresh ground black pepper from my artisan pepper mill to grace my bowl of celery ceviche, thanks].
It's mostly that I'm pretty particular about what we eat, and we went through a patch where we couldn't afford to eat out and so I cooked. Every. Fucking. Day.
And then, as we got more solvent, the meals would become more elaborate. Not gold leaf instead of lettuce leaves elaborate, more like, Hey, we can have hot dogs AND hamburgers for dinner [Hebrew National and turkey burgers, thanks] tonight! elaborate.
Which brings me to last night.
I finally made my Incredible Blue Cheese Coleslaw - and it was absolutely worth waiting for.
Of course, I was starving, since I skipped breakfast and had a meager lunch, so not only was I drooling for coleslaw, I needed to feed the beast. Because FOOD IS GOOD AND DELICIOUS. And when I'm really hungry? It's like a Henry VIII feeding frenzy in this place.
Really.
It's embarrassing the amount of food I will prepare for 3 people. The cooking switch gets turned on and I cannot be stopped.
So in addition to coleslaw, I made potato salad and corn on the cob [6 for $1.99! I can't remember if that's a good price or highway robbery! Well done, market!] and sliced up a Vidalia onion for the grill and the husband made burgers and hot dogs and chicken apple Gouda sausages [oh, good lord, you must eat those]. I also made a nice plate of toppings for the burgers, which only I ate, because evidently the husband and the girl had no interest in greenery on their bacon cheeseburgers. [Of course there was bacon.]
We ate.
I ate.
And it was so. fucking. good.
******************
Here's the recipe:
Adapted from Ina Garten's Blue Cheese Cole Slaw Recipe - which is just as good. I'll give her that.
The Suniverse's Incredible Blue Cheese Cole Slaw
Serves: However many you want to let eat
1/2 small head red cabbage
1/4 - 1/2 cup mayo
1-2 TBSP apple cider vinegar [I've used red wine vinegar before & it's just as good]
1-2 TBSP spicy mustard
Black pepper
Celery salt
1/4-1/2 cup crumbled blue cheese
1. Rinse and chop cabbage. Sure, shredded cabbage looks nice, but it's a pain in the ass to eat flapping all over your mouth. I end up dicing it. No one's complained or died.
2. Put the cabbage in a large mixing bowl - larger than you'll think you need. Trust me.
3. Grab your car keys and head to the store - you didn't realize that you had about 2 TBSP of mayo in the jar in the fridge and NO BACK UP JAR in the pantry. This is nowhere near enough mayo for the slaw, potato salad and burgers. Swing by the grocery store nearest your house, which for some reason you never go to, and realize they've really spiffed the place up.
4. Vow to visit that grocery store more often.
5. Realize that's probably not going to happen because you're not a fan of that chain and be o.k. with that.
5. Back home, add the mayo, vinegar, mustard and seasonings to the cabbage. Stir to combine. Taste, and adjust seasonings. No, you don't need to taste that many times. Relax, it's almost dinner.
6. Add the crumbled blue cheese and stir.
Serve, and enjoy your addiction.
PS I would have posted a photo of the slaw, because I actually took a ton of pictures, except as I was uploading them to my computer, my camera battery died and I only have the one, so I got all the pictures on the camera EXCEPT of the slaw. Because of course.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Monday means never having to actually have a theme to your post.
Well.
Live and learn, right?
Andygirl and I are the awesome people behind the Raw Photos Contest. It's a monthly contest where you, the lucky photographer, gets to submit up to 2 un-photoshopped photos based on a theme.
Well, we fucked this one up.
The theme we picked - Back to School - was way too narrow. So we only got two entries. Whoops! What Andygirl and I decided is that we'll give a hearty CONGRATULATIONS to LizzyDanger and Teejayphotography for entering.
And start again next month.
Starting October 1st, for one week, you can submit your photos on the much more inclusive topic: AUTUMN WHERE YOU LIVE. What's fall look like in your neck of the woods? I think it's supposed to be in the 80s here next week. Bullshit. I want to wear my sweaters and go out and NOT SWEAT. It's not a lot to ask.
Wait. Where was I?
Oh, so, in a nutshell:
****
I am for sure, probably, yes, for sure, going to harm the ice cream truck that is still fucking around in my neighborhood. I swear, it's not an ice cream truck. It's either some creeper who's stalking someone in the neighborhood or it's the FBI doing surveillance.
Doesn't matter. I still hate them.
****
My parents just rented their house [which they could not sell - fab market!] so they moved all the stuff out. One of the things I found was my high school senior yearbook. I look awesome. The girl is in love with the fabulous 80s fashions. I am enjoying the fact that I don't see any of those people any more.
Actually, the more important thing I found was a giant frame, so I can FINALLY make the necklace hanging frame I've been coveting for so long from Pottery Barn.
My frame is one of those cool old ornate frames and it's GIANT, which is perfect because I have yet to hang any of the artwork in my bedroom after we painted it. Six years ago. God. I am losing Martha Points left and right here.
Although, if I make the necklace frame, I'll definitely come out ahead, particularly since I'm starting at a deficit of being impatient and uber-cranky when things don't go my way. I'm fun to be around when I'm doing stuff! Call me!
****
Speaking of home-y type things, I am the world's worst person when it comes to recipes. You know all those blogs, where people will say, "Oh, I made the most delicious stuffed chicken and wild rice and asparagus with cheese sauce. Here are the recipes!" And you go, huh. Delicious. And also, I should do that with the recipes I make. You know, to branch out what I write about. And have a ready made topic! So I don't end up with a post [or too many] where it's just random blurbings.
Or you'll give someone something, say some cookies, and they ask you for the recipe and you go sure! I'll email it to you! And then you hope they forget because:
I don't measure when I cook.
I'll measure when I bake and I'm following a recipe.
But not when I cook. Then, it's all about - add some. A bunch. A tiny bit.
And I do that when I'm baking and I'm amending a recipe. Oatmeal cookies? Well, I'll just add all sorts of stuff. And not measure! And then make up measurements and hope it actually works out when the person you gave the recipe to makes them. I haven't heard to the contrary, so I'm going to assume that things are still delicious.
****
I have to say, I'm really surprised to find that Gwyneth K. Paltrow is not going to be in the movie version of The Help. But perhaps that would be a suckfest of such epic proportions that the world would tilt off its axis and we'd go careening into the sun.
Yeah. That's probably it.
Live and learn, right?
Andygirl and I are the awesome people behind the Raw Photos Contest. It's a monthly contest where you, the lucky photographer, gets to submit up to 2 un-photoshopped photos based on a theme.
Well, we fucked this one up.
The theme we picked - Back to School - was way too narrow. So we only got two entries. Whoops! What Andygirl and I decided is that we'll give a hearty CONGRATULATIONS to LizzyDanger and Teejayphotography for entering.
And start again next month.
Starting October 1st, for one week, you can submit your photos on the much more inclusive topic: AUTUMN WHERE YOU LIVE. What's fall look like in your neck of the woods? I think it's supposed to be in the 80s here next week. Bullshit. I want to wear my sweaters and go out and NOT SWEAT. It's not a lot to ask.
Wait. Where was I?
Oh, so, in a nutshell:
- Thanks for entering in September, LizzyDanger and Teejayphotography
- October's theme is AUTUMN WHERE YOU LIVE
- Start submitting October 1st for one week
****
I am for sure, probably, yes, for sure, going to harm the ice cream truck that is still fucking around in my neighborhood. I swear, it's not an ice cream truck. It's either some creeper who's stalking someone in the neighborhood or it's the FBI doing surveillance.
Doesn't matter. I still hate them.
****
My parents just rented their house [which they could not sell - fab market!] so they moved all the stuff out. One of the things I found was my high school senior yearbook. I look awesome. The girl is in love with the fabulous 80s fashions. I am enjoying the fact that I don't see any of those people any more.
Actually, the more important thing I found was a giant frame, so I can FINALLY make the necklace hanging frame I've been coveting for so long from Pottery Barn.
 | |
| Gorgeous, right? But $49 and only in white. |
My frame is one of those cool old ornate frames and it's GIANT, which is perfect because I have yet to hang any of the artwork in my bedroom after we painted it. Six years ago. God. I am losing Martha Points left and right here.
Although, if I make the necklace frame, I'll definitely come out ahead, particularly since I'm starting at a deficit of being impatient and uber-cranky when things don't go my way. I'm fun to be around when I'm doing stuff! Call me!
****
Speaking of home-y type things, I am the world's worst person when it comes to recipes. You know all those blogs, where people will say, "Oh, I made the most delicious stuffed chicken and wild rice and asparagus with cheese sauce. Here are the recipes!" And you go, huh. Delicious. And also, I should do that with the recipes I make. You know, to branch out what I write about. And have a ready made topic! So I don't end up with a post [or too many] where it's just random blurbings.
Or you'll give someone something, say some cookies, and they ask you for the recipe and you go sure! I'll email it to you! And then you hope they forget because:
I don't measure when I cook.
I'll measure when I bake and I'm following a recipe.
But not when I cook. Then, it's all about - add some. A bunch. A tiny bit.
And I do that when I'm baking and I'm amending a recipe. Oatmeal cookies? Well, I'll just add all sorts of stuff. And not measure! And then make up measurements and hope it actually works out when the person you gave the recipe to makes them. I haven't heard to the contrary, so I'm going to assume that things are still delicious.
****
I have to say, I'm really surprised to find that Gwyneth K. Paltrow is not going to be in the movie version of The Help. But perhaps that would be a suckfest of such epic proportions that the world would tilt off its axis and we'd go careening into the sun.
Yeah. That's probably it.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The Help - so shitty. And also a post in which I ask your advice on blog stuff. Trust me. It'll benefit all of us.
Have I mentioned yet that I'm reading The Help for my book club? And did I mention that my book club meets on Wednesday and I just got the book last night? And did I mention OH MY FUCKING GOD, this book sucks ass in a myriad of ways? Wow. It really, really does.
I was talking about it with a friend who is also in book club [she bought the book; I refused], and one of the things that she found most off-putting, and I have to agree, is that the writer, old what's her name, has no grasp of the dialects she is trying to use - that of un- or undereducated black maids. I agree, and found that even the white characters, with whom she so closely identifies, are stilted.
And then I thought about writers who use that effect so well - Toni Morrison, Alice Walker, Mark Twain and, in a more readily acceptable comparison, Fanny Flagg. I love Fanny Flagg's work, particularly because she has such a gift for the spoken word. Which any writer will tell you, is not that easy to approximate.
So, I'm 90 skimmed pages in, and this book blows. I'm thinking this is going to be an interesting book club meeting.
************
I'm trying different means of commenting. I know the whole sign and word verification is bullshit, but I did get some crazy spam for a while. Now I'm doing comment moderation. This means I have to be on top of stuff, but it's easier on the commenter. We'll see if I can manage it. And yes, I'm still getting a lot of spam, but you won't see it.
I don't have a blogroll. I'm not very good at keeping up on that type of thing. I also feel like, Who gives a shit who you have on your blogroll, with your paltry commenters and readers? But. I love when I happen upon a blog and that writer has me on her blogroll. SO FLATTERING. I guess what I'm saying is, I need to do something about this double standard.
I try and alert my Twitter followers about my latest posts. Annoying or helpful?
What about feeds? I use Google Reader to keep track of my reading list. I know some people have an email option. Do you read those? I'm 50/50.
And the pictures of the followers? I kind of like that, but I don't necessarily include myself on the blogs I do follow. Again, I need to be better about that, but there is still that insecurity of "Who gives a shit if you follow? Lamer."
I'm also working on responding to each comment. I've been pretty good the past few weeks. Is that preferable to emailing a comment to the writer? Do both?
And finally, I'm in the works setting up a Facebook page. Because all the cool kids do it. Do you use FB? I'm not much of a user, but then, I have zero interest in connecting with people I went to high school with, because sweet jesus, the faster I was rid of them the happier I was.
If you could let me know what you think of any and all of these topics, I'd be grateful. Even if it's just, "For fuck's sake, write about Gwyneth K. Paltrow again, you dumdum!"
I was talking about it with a friend who is also in book club [she bought the book; I refused], and one of the things that she found most off-putting, and I have to agree, is that the writer, old what's her name, has no grasp of the dialects she is trying to use - that of un- or undereducated black maids. I agree, and found that even the white characters, with whom she so closely identifies, are stilted.
And then I thought about writers who use that effect so well - Toni Morrison, Alice Walker, Mark Twain and, in a more readily acceptable comparison, Fanny Flagg. I love Fanny Flagg's work, particularly because she has such a gift for the spoken word. Which any writer will tell you, is not that easy to approximate.
So, I'm 90 skimmed pages in, and this book blows. I'm thinking this is going to be an interesting book club meeting.
************
I'm trying different means of commenting. I know the whole sign and word verification is bullshit, but I did get some crazy spam for a while. Now I'm doing comment moderation. This means I have to be on top of stuff, but it's easier on the commenter. We'll see if I can manage it. And yes, I'm still getting a lot of spam, but you won't see it.
I don't have a blogroll. I'm not very good at keeping up on that type of thing. I also feel like, Who gives a shit who you have on your blogroll, with your paltry commenters and readers? But. I love when I happen upon a blog and that writer has me on her blogroll. SO FLATTERING. I guess what I'm saying is, I need to do something about this double standard.
I try and alert my Twitter followers about my latest posts. Annoying or helpful?
What about feeds? I use Google Reader to keep track of my reading list. I know some people have an email option. Do you read those? I'm 50/50.
And the pictures of the followers? I kind of like that, but I don't necessarily include myself on the blogs I do follow. Again, I need to be better about that, but there is still that insecurity of "Who gives a shit if you follow? Lamer."
I'm also working on responding to each comment. I've been pretty good the past few weeks. Is that preferable to emailing a comment to the writer? Do both?
And finally, I'm in the works setting up a Facebook page. Because all the cool kids do it. Do you use FB? I'm not much of a user, but then, I have zero interest in connecting with people I went to high school with, because sweet jesus, the faster I was rid of them the happier I was.
If you could let me know what you think of any and all of these topics, I'd be grateful. Even if it's just, "For fuck's sake, write about Gwyneth K. Paltrow again, you dumdum!"
Friday, September 17, 2010
Why do I do what I do?
From Mama Kat:
3.) Write about what blogging means to you. Why do you blog? What purpose does it serve you and how have you benefited from sharing a piece of yourself online this way?
Most - almost all - the people I know in real life don't know I blog.
Most of the time, I like it that way. I've got an opportunity to really use this space to be honest - not mean, just be myself. That's not something I'm comfortable with. Not that I'm leading a double life, or am hiding something [like an extra arm growing out of my back or the fact that I'm in the Witness Protection Program], but I'm not a person who shares easily. I tend to keep people at a distance. It takes a lot for me to tell someone I know what I'm really thinking or worrying about.
This? This is much easier. There's an inherent distance here. I can say what I need to say and not have to worry about seeing you at work or school pick up or that you'll have said something to someone else. I mean, you may, ["DUDE. You would NOT believe what Suniverse did at the salon the other day. NO! REALLY!"], but it's not going to affect my day to day world.
That's not to say that this space isn't important. It really, really is. And sometimes [lately, a lot of the time] it's more entertaining in the give and take I get with my commentors than the give and take I get in real life [oh, people who interview me for jobs, thanks so much for being there].
It's also important because it keeps me writing. A lot. And writing honestly, which is something I admire in the people I read. And something I'm growing to admire in myself.
So that's why I write. How about you?
[BIG PS: Standards of Excellence, Westar, and Florida Builder Appliances are giving away a fab washer and dryer. I WANT!]
3.) Write about what blogging means to you. Why do you blog? What purpose does it serve you and how have you benefited from sharing a piece of yourself online this way?
Most - almost all - the people I know in real life don't know I blog.
Most of the time, I like it that way. I've got an opportunity to really use this space to be honest - not mean, just be myself. That's not something I'm comfortable with. Not that I'm leading a double life, or am hiding something [like an extra arm growing out of my back or the fact that I'm in the Witness Protection Program], but I'm not a person who shares easily. I tend to keep people at a distance. It takes a lot for me to tell someone I know what I'm really thinking or worrying about.
This? This is much easier. There's an inherent distance here. I can say what I need to say and not have to worry about seeing you at work or school pick up or that you'll have said something to someone else. I mean, you may, ["DUDE. You would NOT believe what Suniverse did at the salon the other day. NO! REALLY!"], but it's not going to affect my day to day world.
That's not to say that this space isn't important. It really, really is. And sometimes [lately, a lot of the time] it's more entertaining in the give and take I get with my commentors than the give and take I get in real life [oh, people who interview me for jobs, thanks so much for being there].
It's also important because it keeps me writing. A lot. And writing honestly, which is something I admire in the people I read. And something I'm growing to admire in myself.
So that's why I write. How about you?
[BIG PS: Standards of Excellence, Westar, and Florida Builder Appliances are giving away a fab washer and dryer. I WANT!]
Thursday, September 16, 2010
UPDATED: Oh, Gwyneth K. Paltrow, you make my head hurt [Like John C. Mayer]
UPDATED:
Looky what we did, PRANKSTERS:
You may know how I feel about a certain someone. A certain someone who . . . well, let's just say is kind of GOOP-y.
Gwyneth K. Paltrow, as you may be aware is not only the daughter of Blythe Danner and Bruce Paltrow, but also an Oscar-winning actress [for Shakespeare in Love] [on par with Marisa Tomei's Oscar, in my opinion], wife of that guy from Coldplay, mother to Apple and Moses [oh, come on. Really?], and the purveyor of the website GOOP.
Oh, Gwyneth K. Paltrow - Oh, you and Goop.
Your silly, silly online magazine/newsletter. Your self-involved regurgitation of empty-headed silliness.
I've written about you before. I still don't like you.
Other people have written about you, Gwyneth K. Paltrow, you and your cleanses and BE. How insane is it to try and survive on basically water?
Gwyneth K. Paltrow, you think of things and then spew them, and most of the time, it sounds like idiocy.
Gwyneth K. Paltrow, you are a proponent of being gluten-free, but I don't think you are allergic to gluten.
Gwyneth K. Paltrow, you and your BFF Madonna are silly. I have zero patience for people who air their fueds in public and online [oh! WAIT! THE HYPOCRISY!]
Gwyneth K. Paltrow, you have no concept of reality. I mean, I guess you shouldn't, because you are the child of pretty famous actors, so your life is pretty privileged. Can't you just admit that? Can't you, Gwyneth K. Paltrow? Own your privilege. You cannot relate to the rest of us.
Gwyneth K. Paltrow, you are ridiculous.
Looky what we did, PRANKSTERS:
 |
| Oh, yes we did! |
You may know how I feel about a certain someone. A certain someone who . . . well, let's just say is kind of GOOP-y.
 |
| NOT Gwyneth K. Paltrow's GOOP. This one serves a purpose. |
Gwyneth K. Paltrow, as you may be aware is not only the daughter of Blythe Danner and Bruce Paltrow, but also an Oscar-winning actress [for Shakespeare in Love] [on par with Marisa Tomei's Oscar, in my opinion], wife of that guy from Coldplay, mother to Apple and Moses [oh, come on. Really?], and the purveyor of the website GOOP.
Oh, Gwyneth K. Paltrow - Oh, you and Goop.
Your silly, silly online magazine/newsletter. Your self-involved regurgitation of empty-headed silliness.
I've written about you before. I still don't like you.
Other people have written about you, Gwyneth K. Paltrow, you and your cleanses and BE. How insane is it to try and survive on basically water?
Gwyneth K. Paltrow, you think of things and then spew them, and most of the time, it sounds like idiocy.
 |
| Read a book, Gwyneth K. Paltrow. Read a book and stop talking. |
Gwyneth K. Paltrow, you are a proponent of being gluten-free, but I don't think you are allergic to gluten.
Gwyneth K. Paltrow, you and your BFF Madonna are silly. I have zero patience for people who air their fueds in public and online [oh! WAIT! THE HYPOCRISY!]
Gwyneth K. Paltrow, you have no concept of reality. I mean, I guess you shouldn't, because you are the child of pretty famous actors, so your life is pretty privileged. Can't you just admit that? Can't you, Gwyneth K. Paltrow? Own your privilege. You cannot relate to the rest of us.
Gwyneth K. Paltrow, you are ridiculous.
 |
| Alexander McQueen's biggest mistake. Gwyneth Paltrow, you have been John C. Mayer'd. |
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Wow. You are so annoying.
Dear Gwenyth Paltrow:
I'm not so sure what it is about you, but you really rub me the wrong way.
Maybe it was the undeserved win for Shakespeare in Love [did you see that movie after you made it? Not that great. And even you have to admit that you are nowhere near being in Cate Blanchett's or Meryl Streep's league. Although you are pretty full of yourself, so maybe not.].
Maybe it was when I first realized how out of touch with real life you are. I was at the doctor or dentist, reading People or something and in the letters to the editor [those are my favorites in any magazine or newspaper, because even if I haven't read the previous issue or know what the person who is writing is all bent about, they are ENTERTAINING], people were blasting your for blathering on about how you needed to take at least a year off from work to recover from your father's death [sorry for your loss. Really. Sorry, that sucks.] and one of People's readers wrote in and said, in effect, "Must be nice. My father died and I had to go back to work two days later."
Maybe it was when you decided to be BFFs with Madonna [ugh, really?].
Maybe it was when you decided you were also a singer [seriously? TWO movies where you sing? You are NOT Julie Andrews.].
For sure, it was when you were cast as Sylvia Plath in that movie that no one saw. You? As Sylvia Plath? Angsty women and teenage girls everywhere are STILL pissed that that happened.
For sure, it was when you thought you could be Emma. You are not Emma. Alicia Silverstone is WAY more qualified to be Emma than you. WAY MORE. Jane Austen? Not one of your fans. I know this to be true.
For sure, it's the whole GOOP phenomenon [no, I'm not linking. I hate it that much.]. Of all the ridiculous things that I've ever heard of, this tops it. How do you give this type of "lifestyle" advice and not want to punch yourself for being so vapid?
Seriously. Go home, continue making movies I have no interest in, and I'll ignore you as much as I usually do. Just stop trying to insinuate yourself into my world.
Best,
Suniverse
I'm not so sure what it is about you, but you really rub me the wrong way.
Maybe it was the undeserved win for Shakespeare in Love [did you see that movie after you made it? Not that great. And even you have to admit that you are nowhere near being in Cate Blanchett's or Meryl Streep's league. Although you are pretty full of yourself, so maybe not.].
Maybe it was when I first realized how out of touch with real life you are. I was at the doctor or dentist, reading People or something and in the letters to the editor [those are my favorites in any magazine or newspaper, because even if I haven't read the previous issue or know what the person who is writing is all bent about, they are ENTERTAINING], people were blasting your for blathering on about how you needed to take at least a year off from work to recover from your father's death [sorry for your loss. Really. Sorry, that sucks.] and one of People's readers wrote in and said, in effect, "Must be nice. My father died and I had to go back to work two days later."
Maybe it was when you decided to be BFFs with Madonna [ugh, really?].
Maybe it was when you decided you were also a singer [seriously? TWO movies where you sing? You are NOT Julie Andrews.].
For sure, it was when you were cast as Sylvia Plath in that movie that no one saw. You? As Sylvia Plath? Angsty women and teenage girls everywhere are STILL pissed that that happened.
For sure, it was when you thought you could be Emma. You are not Emma. Alicia Silverstone is WAY more qualified to be Emma than you. WAY MORE. Jane Austen? Not one of your fans. I know this to be true.
For sure, it's the whole GOOP phenomenon [no, I'm not linking. I hate it that much.]. Of all the ridiculous things that I've ever heard of, this tops it. How do you give this type of "lifestyle" advice and not want to punch yourself for being so vapid?
Seriously. Go home, continue making movies I have no interest in, and I'll ignore you as much as I usually do. Just stop trying to insinuate yourself into my world.
Best,
Suniverse
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