Thursday, June 9, 2011

Sharing is caring, in a way that staring never could be.

I feel like I've gotten to know you, my lovely readers & fellow bloggers & friends on Twitter.  But I want to know more about you.  Your thoughts, your hopes, your dreams.  Your propensity toward becoming a deranged serial killer.  I want you to share deep thoughts and amazing revelations with me. I want to know what your answers are to this highly scientific psychological profile:

1.  If, say, you had to pee and you were in a chlorinated public pool, or at the beach, would you trudge back to your room or the locker room, or would you pee in the pool?  Be honest.  Even if you're wearing a Depends laden swimsuit.  Would it make a difference if you were alone?

2.  What's your favorite popcorn flavor?  Is it something good, like butter or caramel?  Or something only a person who hears fish talk [and then answers them, in fish language] would like, like cheese?

3.  Is it wrong to wish ill upon someone who you feel has wronged you?  What if that person is a jackass?  What if that jackass makes you want to punch them?  What then, Mother Theresa?  HUH?

4.  Speaking of hating, if you got to make someone you hate listen to one song, over and over, on repeat, what would that song be?

5.  Coke or Pepsi?

6.  Clueless is the best adaptation of Jane Austen's Emma, True or False.
Looks like we're going to have to make a cameo at the Val party. Source.

Ok, friends, share!


  1. What fun!

    1. I have no qualms about peeing in a pool and I have done so when I was a kid. But now? Try as I may, my bladder refuses. It wants to be ladylike and pee in a toilet. Spoilsport.

    2. Caramel. No other.

    3. If it's wrong, then I'm going to hell. I regularly wish ill on people who have wronged me. Including my idiot neighbors. Whom I curse at regularly (in the confines of my home of course).

    4. Achy Breaky Heart. Just typing that is giving me an eye twitch.

    5. Neither. I don't drink soda. (eek)

    6. Yes it is!!

    So, what do I win? LOL

  2. Oohh, OK.
    1. I have peed in a pool, but not since I was, like, 25.
    2. I'm currently addicted to the Lime flavored microwave popcorn. Dee-lish.
    3. I don't have to think ill of them; everyone who fucks me over has something bad happen to them, like nervous-breakdowns, cancer, or unplanned pregnancy. True stories - all of them.
    4. Anything by Rush, or "My Angel is a Centerfold"
    5. Coke
    6. TRUE. Who's Pippi Longstocking?

  3. Ha!
    1. I trudge back to the restroom. That is why I have a tankini rather than a one piece.

    2. I love caramel popcorn and kettle corn! YUM!! I don't really like movie theater popcorn though.

    3. I don't believe in wishing "ill." I do believe in hoping the person gets karma-d.

    4. The Carpenters "Close to You."

    5. Pepsi. But neither. I don't drink pop. Yes, pop.

    6. True

    Did I pass?

  4. 1. Truthfully...yes. Only because pee is sterile, right?

    2. Butter, butter and more butter. Did I say butter? But real butter not that flavored oil shit.

    3. Hell yes. I do this daily. Is it wrong to pray for the death of a douche bag boyfriend of my daughters? No. I do it every minute. Now, where's my voodoo doll of him? My name isn't sassy bitch for nothing.

    4. The Barney Song. Hands down.

    5. Coke but it has to be diet.

    6. that movie.

  5. 1. Ok, so if I'm in a pool, no way, at the beach, sure. Pool is contained and to me that's just, ick, the beach however, is riddled with fish semen and shit. Is my urine really going to hurt this?

    2. Um...Have you tried the new Marshmallow popcorn. I'm so fucking in love with that shit right now, it ridamndiculous.

    3. Being able to wish ill will on jack-ass people is the only thing that keeps me from actually killing them myself. Well, that and hardened chicks in prison.

    4. I'm make them listen and dance to The Macarena. I know, cruel right?

    5. Fucking Pepsi!

    6. And I admit, I've never read Emma. So I guess that makes me fucking Clueless.

    Have a happy day! Oh wait, was I supposed to do this on my blog? Fuck, is it morning? What day is it? Who's house am I in?

  6. 1. Trudge to the restroom. No matter how tempted I may be the thought of swimming in pee makes me ill...also the reason public pools arrent my favorite place.

    2. Butter. But I also like the lime version.

    3.Karma is usually Bitch enough that I just wish it comes around quickly.

    4. It's a Small World .... crap, now I will never get it put of my brain.

    5. Coke - and I am old enough to have actually taken the challenge

    6. True


  7. 1. @the beach--absolutely. We are swimming in fish poo and cruise ship crap anyway. If you pee in the pool you will never be invited to my house. Go find a freaking bush.

    2. white cheddar all the way

    3. I had a voodoo doll. Someone stole it (or did it run away?)

    4. Copacabana. Barry Manilow is hell.

    5. Diet Coke

    6. I haven't watched any other version, so I'd have to say true.


  8. Here goes (don't judge me):

    1. I'm sure I did it as a kid, but swimming in pee, even if it's my own, grosses me out. Hike it back to the restroom.

    2. Yesterday I made popcorn then doused it in lime and chili powder. It was as good as the fish told me it would be!

    3. If hoping Shirley Temple had kids that were every bit as annoying as her is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

    4. It Was Only Just a Dream by Nelly (UGH)

    5. Pepsi

    6. As if....No, that's totally true.

  9. 1. Pool, no. Ocean, yes. Like other people have said, my pee would probably be one of the cleaner things in the ocean.

    2. Butter. Then more butter. Then some extra butter after that.

    3. Is it wrong? Yes. Has that deterred me in my quest to set people on fire with my mind? No.

    4. "Hey Mickey, you're so fine" because, even after I let them quit listening, that song would never, ever leave their head.

    5. Coke

    6. True!

  10. This is too easy.
    1. I always pee in the pool. I hate cold water. I will drink a quart of water JUST so that I have to pee because sometimes I get stage fright. Peeing ON someone I don't like brings me joy like little else in life.
    2. I consider the flavored popcorn that comes in a 3 sectioned container (butter, caramel and cheese) to be three out of the four food groups. The fourth food group? Diet Coke. This answers number 5 as well, correct?
    3.Not only is it ok to wish ill on someone who has wronged you but it is EXPECTED that you exact your revenge upon them. Violently and with stabbiness whenever possible.
    4. Starship's "We Built This City On Rock and Roll" It makes me want to pull out my own eyeballs.
    5. See number 2
    6. I think you're right! Good call!

  11. 1. I'll pee wherever. In a pool, its fine because there's chlorine, which kills everything immediately. So even if you pee, it is instantly sterile. in the ocean, it's gross anyway, so why not?

    2. I'm boring - I'll do butter, but the rest I find kind of gross.

    3. hell's yeah, screw'em. not only do i sometimes WISH bad stuff to happen to people, sometimes i actively help it along.

    4. The version of the Macerena with no words. it reminds me of Mugatu's torture chamber with "relax" playing over and over.

    5. Coke

    6. Huh? and also, Huh? I DO know that woody allen's Matchpoint is a great modern day representation of Crime and Punishment.

  12. 1. At the pool, I trudge to the restroom. At the beach, I go in the water like all the little fishes.

    2. Honest-to-goodness butter, or caramel.

    3. I wish painful, embarrassing deaths to people I hate on a daily basis.

    4. The Gilligan's Island theme.

    5. Coke. And I am ALSO old enough to have taken the challenge. Pepsi is swill.

    6. True. "I have a gun and a shovel. I doubt anyone would miss you."

  13. 1. Now that I'm an adult not in the pool, but at the beech, for sure.
    2. Butter, lots of it.
    3. I wish ill on people who are just annoying or are dressed stupid. It doesn't matter if they have wronged me.
    4. Anthing by Taylor Swift. She makes my ears bleed.
    5. Coke, especially fountain coke. Duh.
    6. Never saw that one. Never read that book either. I have never read a Jane Austen book...weird I know.

  14. 1. I don't even go into pools for fear someone like Lola and Bill might pee in it. Lance says I have no faith in the hooman race, but I feel 100 BAZILLION PERCENT vindicated by these answers here.

    2. I only like movie popcorn with tons of butter- er-oil sauce. unless my mom makes it from the pan on the stove.

    3. Faulk Mother Theresa. No seriously. No one is that good. If she were a patient on House, House would find out that she had some rare disease that put pressure on a section of her brain making her all altruistic, and then he'd fix here and balance would be stored to the world as she told a leper to piss off. (What??? like all lepers are nice people...)

    4. song for the hated? Well if I didn't already know their favorite song of all time (because forcing them to listen to it over and over would not only slowly drive them mad but then they would grow to hate their favorite song) it would be either Denise Williams "Let's hear it for the boy" Who let the dogs out" or "Hot blooded" by foreigner- because those lyrics are just faulking creepy.

    5. Coke, but I don't drink soda. how stupid right?

    6. As a virgin who can't drive, I say of course it is the best adaptation of ALL TIME

  15. 1: beach, yes. Pool, no.
    2:butter with old bay.
    3:as long as you don't actually harm him/her, yes it's fine to wish it.
    4: I dunno. Achy breaky heart?
    5. Coke zero.
    6. Obvs.

  16. 1: I don't swim in public pools just for that reason, so that's a no. At a beach: heck yes. Like another commenter said: its full of fish semen and shit anyway!
    2: Does kettle corn count? Cuz that's definitely my favorite.
    3: No. It's not wrong. I wished a heck of a lot of harm to a certain person who is now in jail (KARMA!!). :D
    4: It's a Small World. The worst. song. ever.
    5: Pepsi Zero. No caffeine for me, please.
    6: I guess I'm the only one who didn't like the movie. BUT I have not seen the original so I can't honestly say!

    I just saw the post about ass crack....going to check that out!

  17. 1. I would pee in the lake but not the pool. Fish do it in the lake, why can't I?

    2. Speaking of which, I talk to fish. Cheese please.

    3. I guess it's WRONG but that doesn't mean I don't DO it.

    4. House of Pain. I have been forced to endure it on repeat's a truly crushing punishment.

    5. Pepsi.

    6. True.

  18. Ok, I'm impressed with the honesty here. I'm a little surprised that so few will pee in a pool, but have zero qualms about whizzing in an open body of water. Not that there's anything wrong with that [Is the water getting warmer? I didn't notice anything.]

    I've never tried lime popcorn. It doesn't even remotely sound intriguing. Not like the BUTTER BUTTER BUTTER kind. Yum. Butter.

    I LOVE the fact that I'm not alone in wishing ill, even though I know it's wrong. I'm not getting on any of your bad sides.

    Your songs are killing me. Dead.

    Coke. For sure. Diet Coke. Even though I don't drink it any more.

    Would you call me selfish? Not to your face.

    I heart all of you.

  19. 1. I'd pee in a pool or in the ocean, no qualms, no regrets. If I have to go and there's no wc in sight, then water meets water... kinda water. I'm just rotten overall, I have no issues with that.

    2. Don't like pop corn.

    3. Yes it's wrong but when that person messes with your spouse, it's alright to kick their asses and wish they don't comeback from Afghanistan. Fingers crossed.

    4. No, i listen to very heavy music and I don't wish that to anyone.

    5. Coke

    6. No clue, I watch porn mostly.

  20. 1. I pee in the pool all the time. Even at my toddler's swim lessons when I'm standing right next to other parents and the teacher. I've always justified it by saying the chlorine kills the germs. I hope that's true. I don't much go in the ocean, or I'd pee there too. I mean, the fish do it, and it's not like my pee is laced with arsenic or something.
    2. Favorite popcorn: bacon caramel. Unreal.
    3. All I can say is in 7th grade I wished ill on someone for trying to steal my boyfriend, then when we were 16 she died in a car accident. Not to be a total downer, but it happened.
    4. I'd put in the Funny Girl soundtrack and put it on random. Fun for me, sure hell for anyone else.
    5. Coke. Diet Coke. aka Mommy Fuel.
    6. The truest statement ever uttered.

  21. I have to say, I'm loving some of your readers.

    1. I wouldn't even give a second thought about peeing in an open body of water. As for the pool? It depends whose pool it was and who I was swimming with. If I think that my fellow swimmers were pool-urinators then I'd want to make sure that the concentration of my own pee was higher than theirs. It's easier to live in your own filth than it is to live in someone elses. Am I right? I thought so too.

    2. Not much of a popcorn eater because I'm pretty sure that the popcorn kernels are some twisted dental conspiracy. They ALWAYS get stuck in my teeth...not just stuck, but like compacted in any little crevice those little fuckers can find. By the time I get it out my jaw and tongue are so sore I feel like I've given about 100 blowjobs.

    3. Wishing ill on those who have wronged me is kind of a favourite passtime of mine. Naturally, I would never do anything physical or illegal to someone who has screwed me over, but sometimes it's nice to think "in a perfect world, I could get away with this...". I'm not evil, I'm just a realist.

    4. Oh, hands down this would be that "This is the song that doesn't end..." from the 'Lambchop' show with that lamb-puppet and the red haired vantriloquist.

    5. Coke.

    6. I'm "Clueless" about this one (also? I'm punny. And lame...oh so lame). I lack culture and therefore have never actually made it through a Jane Austen book. Judge me all you want.

  22. 1. I'd pee in that pool AND that ocean.
    2. I hate popcorn.
    3. I might not wish bad things for someone, but I'd like to rub my good fortune in their face.
    4. That act from the superbowl halftime, whatever that was. *shudder*
    5. Neither- no sodas for me.
    6. I don't know, but it seems like a lot of movies claim to be jane austen stories.

  23. 1. I never, ever, ever pee in the pool. What, I'm a f*cking animal?
    2. if it's called popcorn, it makes me happy--no matter what flavour
    3. I regularly hope true douches will drive straight into a telephone pole. And I don't feel bad about it.
    4. That Katy Perry "alien" song. I feel completely homicidal by the time the rap part comes up: "Imma disrobe you, then Imma probe you." I'm angry now just typing it.
    6. true.

  24. 1. absolutely piss in the pool. i've pissed in an odwala bottle whilst stuck in traffic on the golden gate bridge.

    2. popcorn sucks.

    3. i curse everyone who crosses me.

    4. anything by jimmy buffet.

    5. soda is poison.

    6. definitely the most stylish adaptation.

  25. 1. I've had a kid, so if I sneeze, pee happens...pool or no pool.
    2. Extra butter!
    3. No, I wish ill upon just about anybody...bad drivers, coworkers,doesn't matter. I'm not superstitious, so I don't believe it does anything more than make me feel better (cause I'm sick that way).
    4. Anything by Hall and Oates. I loathe Hall & Oates. Especially Oates.
    5. coke
    6. most definitely

  26. I'll give it a whack (NOTE: this could be interpreted in two ways).
    1. I'd pee in a public pool in a heartbeat. I would just make sure I wasn't next to someone when I did. I do have manners. On a related note, I poop in the ocean.
    2. I like my popcorn like I like my women. Plain. Ooh, that is just cruel. I meant to say "Hot and sexy."
    3. If someone wronged me, I'd pee next to him in the pool.
    4. "It's Raining Men."
    5. Diet Pepsi, regular Coke. I'm a freak that way.
    6. What's Clueless? Who's Jane Austin? And is Emma some sort of medical procedure?
    OK, gotta run. Need to jump in my neighbor's pool. And then I'm going to the beach.

  27. If I was right after Juice I would just go home without commenting, but since a bunch of other people did...
    1. in a lake yes, in the pool no. Although the more everyone says it the less sense it makes.
    2. Movie popcorn. Strangely, although I like lime anything, lime popcorn sounds really unappetizing.
    3. I frequently wish that the little sociopath who's been bullying my daughter for two years wakes up bald and toothless. Did I type that out loud?
    4. Elmo's Song. It sounds like burning.
    5. Diet Pepsi. I know, I know, aspartame causes MS and kills ants. Fuck off, I have kids, you can't scare me.
    6. Alicia Silverstone forever. Until she had a kid and named him Bear Blu. Which kind of makes me think someone should pee on her popcorn.

  28. I think jackasses deserve to suffer. At least somewhat.

    And my popcorn needs a LOT of butter and a LOT of salt!



    What FUN!

    I have become an idiot from my old age.

    I love reading others' answers.

    I have become so sick of myself and talking about me? That I can't even answer.

    Besides, you know me so well, you answer for me: what ever you say, it'll be right on.

    Loved this post, and the comments.

    I feel like I"ve just been to a really good party full of people I really like.

    NOW...when DID that last happen?

    Right? Right? e

  30. I now trudge to the bathroom if I'm in a pool, hoping there is one very near the pool. If I'm in a lake (eewww) or the ocean I will pee and never feel bad about it.

    MOVIE POPCORN but with "just a little, I said a little, no that's too much, A little" butter and NO SALT.

    I try NOT to wish ill will on people who have screwed me over, BUT I will admit to wishing that they have something icky happen to them, not life changing or fatal but something that makes them KNOW what a douche they really are.

    as much as I love him any Barry Manilow song is going to make happy for as long as I repeat and them miserable , it's a win/win ;)

    COKE, Diet Caffeine Free Coke to be exact.

    I loved Clueless, *sigh*

    can we still be friends?? :)

  31. You are hilarious! And I LOVE surveys like this (yes I was THAT obnoxious person who used to forward those damned 'getting to know you' emails to everyone I knew).

    1. Ew…I don’t go into public pools or other public open waters for this reason. I would trudge to the bathroom. I wouldn’t care if I were alone, wearing a spacesuit in which nothing would escape…of course in reality I would never stick a toe in the waters.
    2. I used to sprinkle parmesan cheese (the fake powered kind) on my popcorn. One of my friends in jr. high would sprinkle powered kool-aid on her popcorn.
    3. Well I’m no Mother Theresa…I’m not a nice person, really. While I haven’t wished ill on people, I have taken delight when karma bites them in the ass. Schadenfreude baby.
    4. Any song by Myriah Carey.
    5. Diet Cherry Pepsi or Cherry Coke Zero. I have about six of these a day…yes, seriously.
    6. This a ‘way existential’ question…and YES

  32. 1. Only if I have to. I take of business before so I don't have to.
    2. Kettle corn or butter.
    3. Yes because karma is a bitch. Still do it though.
    4. Me singing anything.
    5. Coke - diet or diet cherry
    6. True. Awesome movie.

  33. 1. I've been a lifeguard, and peeing in the pool is a job requirement.
    2. I'm very sad that Act II doesn't have its Old-fashioned Natural popcorn anymore. I know I'm a weirdo, but buttered popcorn makes me ill. However, I will eat the hell out of some Cracker Jack.
    3. I wish more ill upon people who have wronged those who I love. Don't hurt my kids or my hubs or my dog or I will cut you.
    4. Spongebob Squarepants theme song, because even though I love Spongebob, I realize there are many who do not.
    5. Yuck. I don't like any carbonated drinks, not even champagne.
    6. What? Clueless was an adaptation of Emma? Since when?

  34. 1. Um, HELLZ yes, I'm peeing the pool or ocean. Chlorine is bleach, which kills germs and the ocean is so vast, does it really make a difference? Plus urine is sterile, really.

    2. Hands down movie theater (from an actual theater) lots of salt and butter. SAVORY!

    3. I wish harm and even death on an almost daily basis and don't feel bad about it. If it's so wrong, why does it feel so right?

    4. Perhaps Copa Cabana or the Marcarena.

    5. Coke if I have to but Dr. Pepper preferably.

    6. Not sure on the adaptation thing but Clueless is DA BOMB.

    Love you, mean it, xoxo!


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.