There is no reason these guys should still be making movies.

As I may have mentioned before, we watch a lot of movies.  Not at the theater - no, we're pretty bad about actually organizing ourselves to get to a theater and see a movie before it hits video [we had high hopes for The King's Speech, especially when it was playing at a second run artsy-type theater nearby, but somehow the three of us could not get our schedules together for any one showing.  Not that we're fabulous and have all kinds of cool stuff to do.  Mostly because we commit to things we should do and no that we necessarily want to do.  We suck that way.].

Where the hell was I?

Anyway, we watch a lot of movies and we also get Entertainment Weekly - because I enjoy reading about television shows I'd never, in a million years, watch.  Not even when suffering from horrific insomnia.  That's what DVDs are for.  But because of this confluence of events, I tend to get info on what's happening in the movies and am able, because of my gimlet eye, to spot trends.  And the one that I wish I hadn't is the ubiquity of crappy shit going on in films.

First of all, Paul Giamatti needs to stop making movies.  Seriously.  No more.  I can't handle it.  You know what? As shitty as Lady in the Water was, and it was horrifically bad [but not as bad as The Happening.  I don't have the words for how bad that was.] I'm going on record as saying that it wasn't all M. Night Shyamalan's fault.  Some of the blame goes to old Paul.  Also?  Stop casting him as romantic leads.  And Revolutionary War guys.  Just let him go raise llamas somewhere.  That seems like something he'd do.  [I can't explain my animosity toward him - while I will allow that he has done nothing untoward to piss me off, like some people who will not be named, he grates on me like chewing tinfoil.]

Second, another thing that needs to end is the sullying of the John Gotti legacy.  You know what abomination is happening now? John Fucking Travolta is supposed to be playing John Gotti in some movie they're making.

No.

NO FUCKING WAY.

This?

Aaaaayyyy. Wait. Do I think I'm The Fonz? Source.

Is nowhere NEAR as awesome as this:

That's right, bitches. I'm John Motherfucking Gotti.  Suck it. Source.

It's kind of hurting my soul.

And finally, I have had about all I can stand of remakes.  There is no reason for ANOTHER Charlie's Angels reboot - particularly since #MurderPartyStreetCrew already has its Bosley [yes, that's an arcane Twitter reference.  It's my fucking blog.  I can do what I want.].  Sure, guys dig watching chicks jiggle it, but they can probably choose from a thousand other shows that already have this oeuvre locked down. True, this doesn't quite fit in the doughy guy antipathy, but I bet it was some doughy guy came up with this idea. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to unwrap a hard candy and then blow my nose in the tissue I keep in the sleeve of my knee length cardigan.