Tuesday, May 24, 2011

That Time I Stayed in the Canadian Version of the Bates Motel. I Hate You, Niagara Falls.

Many years ago, our family was invited to a destination wedding.  Not somewhere magical like the Bahamas. Nope.

Niagara Falls. 

Where we ended up staying in:

The Bates Motel

Not the ACTUAL Bates Motel. No.  That one was drier and far less disgusting.

We were given instructions to make reservations at this hotel or, more accurately, House of Creepiness, by the family having the wedding.


Which we didn't find out until the end of the weekend.  Nice, right?  Did they get a look and go running?  Did they get a cut of the rental rates?  I don't know, but I don't really talk to them anymore.  Had you been there, you wouldn't blame me.

We get to this place and are skeeved out.  Seriously.  It smelled like dank.  My parent's room? Had damp carpeting.  Our room? Had the sink that wouldn't stop running.  Some cousins were in the room that had super-scary noises. 

I ask for extra pillows and am informed that there are none.  How is that possible?  Are they being used to smother and bury guests from times past?

We spent a LOT of time not in the room.  Hotel sex? Yeah, not happening.

I think the icing on the cake was that at the nice hotel across the street, where there was a party for the wedding guests the night before, the room rates were the same.  Why didn't we switch hotels? I have no idea - I was for it, but everyone else had been beaten down by the sadness and despair clouding Bates Motel Niagara and figured one more night wouldn't hurt. 

Except it did.  It hurt my soul.  It also hurt my ability to stay in any cheap ass hotel, making our trips way more expensive.  But then so was the therapy and the 8,000 loads of laundry I did to wash the stink of that trip out of our clothing.


This is a Studio 30 Plus writing prompt.  Yeah, boy. [You have to say that like Flavor Flav.  Trust me.  It's fun.]


  1. Oh man, I HATE that manky hotel!


    Sarah xxx

  2. NASTY. My crazy MIL tried to convince us to take a road trip with her to Niagara Falls. I told my Hubby it would be a BAD idea because somehow I'd end up pushing her over the falls after the 2 days in a car with her. Your description of the hotel from Hell is EXACTLY what I pictured. Unless it would be the hotel room like in Superman 2 with the champagne glass hot tub and pink fur rug by the fire (oh the disease spread around that rooms). Thank you for giving me another excuse for never going there.


  3. There is nothing worse than a crappy room when you're traveling.

  4. Hey, I'm in Niagara Falls, so I can completely imagine how shitty your hotel might have been--after all, I was a chambermaid in tourist central for four summers. Oh yes, I can't wait to write my post for the prompt.

    You should send me a message in studio 30 or through my profile email and totally tell me what hotel you stayed in. It's sad that Niagara has so much to offer but is hell bent on ripping off the tourist.

  5. LOL! Right there with ya. Camping and crappy hotels are OUT for me. Just too many icky variables to contend with.

  6. No! Never! I hate stinky motels/hotels with the fire of a thousand suns. I went to a wedding in the mountains of VA once. We had reserved a room at this place recommended by the couple. We were there for less than 5 minutes before we left. And never came back. Just no.

  7. Wow, I have never been to Niagra Falls (is there a reason I almost wrote Diagra Falls?), and quite honestly now I don't want to.

  8. I can also tell you, you should never stay in a hotel name "The State Line Inn". Been to two. More like State Mental Institution. The first room they took us too had something that looked like it could be blood on the walls. Needless to say, we were all to freaked to sleep well that night.

  9. My INLAWs/Outlaws are notoriously CHEAP.

    We stayed at a motel, b/c it was the only price they'd pay and whatever...and there was still someone's poop floating in the toilet.

    I took our 3 kids and said, "we'll sleep in the van."

  10. No Hotel Sex? Screw that! oh wait...

  11. i stayed in a motel in portland once, and i'm pretty sure they were sawing body parts in the room next to me.

  12. Ah, hotel sex. Like the sex I never have. But better.

  13. oh you're so much cooler than Flava Flav. :)

    I too have a high opinions and expectations of hotels. I hate staying in icky places....and this place sounded ICKY.

    plus you made me laugh, a Comfortable, expensive hotel is always worth it!!! :)

  14. Yuck! We stayed in a place that also has made all our future trips more costly...the place smelled like boiled ketchup, everything was bolted to the floor and walls (who the hell is stealing the bed frame?), and the walls were so thin that when my husband sneezed a few times the guy in the room next to us called out, "Bless You." We stayed one night only.

  15. I once was driving back home from NYC, "just" a 3 hour trip. But, there was a driving storm, and I was exhausted. I stopped at a cheap motel.

    It was something like 3am when I signed in, and I just lied down on the bed and slept. A few hours later, I woke up, walked to the bathroom and realized that my feet were squishing against the carpet.

    My clothes still don't smell the same.

  16. I would've died. We used to party in the cheap hotels when we were in high school but I can't imagine ever sleeping in one! I am surprised that you escaped without some disease.


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.