Saturday, September 18, 2010

Marriage. It's About Communication.

The husband, checking our Netflix queue:  It Happened One Night?  Didn't we already see that? That's that movie, with the restaurant.

Me:  No we haven't.  That's Big Night.

The husband: [Pause]. . . You're Big Night.


The husband: I think I'm going to grow a mustache.

Me:  No.  No you are not.


The husband [at the girl's school for Open House]: Shit.  Walk faster.

Me [picking up the pace]: What? What is it?

The husband:  Just walk fast.  Don't look.

Me:  Why?

The husband:  It was The Non-Stop Talkers

Me: Oh, god.  Thanks.


The husband [While watching Inglogrious Basterds {not that great, by the way}]:  Look!  Look at his pipe!  It's awesome.  I'm going to start smoking a pipe.

Me:  You want that pipe?

The husband:  Yes!  Look at it!  Picture me pulling that out and smoking it.

Me:  You want the Evil Nazi Guy's pipe?  You want to be the guy with a Nazi pipe?

The husband:  . . . So?

Me:  I don't think so.


Me [on the phone with my father-in-law this morning at about 11:30am in the office next to our bedroom]:  The husband is still sleeping.  Do you want me to get him up? Because I will.  It's not a problem.  Are you sure?  I can wake him.  Seriously.  It's fine!  Are you sure?  I CAN WAKE HIM.

The husband [staggering out of the bedroom and into the office a few minutes later]: SURE! IT'S FINE! WAKE HIM UP!

Me: Morning! Your dad called.


  1. you are my hero:

    "The husband: I think I'm going to grow a mustache.

    Me: No. No you are not."

    way to put the foot down. I love it!

  2. Oh, yeah. The foot come down on mustaches. Porn stars and cops - those are the only two groups than can legitimately wear a mustache.

  3. OMG I think you and your husband are doppelgangers of me and my husband. My hub wants a pipe like that too. In the worst, disturbing way. We also have gone through our facial hair struggles. Trying times...

  4. Sarah - HA! What is it with husbands and their inability to see what they are thinking - pipes, weird facial hair - is just not acceptable?


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