Me: No we haven't. That's Big Night.
The husband: [Pause]. . . You're Big Night.
******
The husband: I think I'm going to grow a mustache.
Me: No. No you are not.
******
The husband [at the girl's school for Open House]: Shit. Walk faster.
Me [picking up the pace]: What? What is it?
The husband: Just walk fast. Don't look.
Me: Why?
The husband: It was The Non-Stop Talkers
Me: Oh, god. Thanks.
******
The husband [While watching Inglogrious Basterds {not that great, by the way}]: Look! Look at his pipe! It's awesome. I'm going to start smoking a pipe.
Me: You want that pipe?
The husband: Yes! Look at it! Picture me pulling that out and smoking it.
Me: You want the Evil Nazi Guy's pipe? You want to be the guy with a Nazi pipe?
The husband: . . . So?
Me: I don't think so.
*********
Me [on the phone with my father-in-law this morning at about 11:30am in the office next to our bedroom]: The husband is still sleeping. Do you want me to get him up? Because I will. It's not a problem. Are you sure? I can wake him. Seriously. It's fine! Are you sure? I CAN WAKE HIM.
The husband [staggering out of the bedroom and into the office a few minutes later]: SURE! IT'S FINE! WAKE HIM UP!
Me: Morning! Your dad called.
you are my hero:
ReplyDelete"The husband: I think I'm going to grow a mustache.
Me: No. No you are not."
way to put the foot down. I love it!
Oh, yeah. The foot come down on mustaches. Porn stars and cops - those are the only two groups than can legitimately wear a mustache.
ReplyDeleteOMG I think you and your husband are doppelgangers of me and my husband. My hub wants a pipe like that too. In the worst, disturbing way. We also have gone through our facial hair struggles. Trying times...
ReplyDeleteSarah - HA! What is it with husbands and their inability to see what they are thinking - pipes, weird facial hair - is just not acceptable?
ReplyDelete