Saturday, October 2, 2010


I had some ironing to do the other day.  When I iron, I set myself up in front of the tv and watch something - it makes the time pass and I don't notice the foot high pile that I have to get through.  You'd think I'd have learned by now to do it a few pieces at a time every few days.  You'd be mistaken.


For this episode of the Bataan Death March of Ironing, I watched Hoarders.

This is so unreal
It's not a show I regularly watch.  I watched an episode with the husband once, and we were both fascinated and repelled.  But, I have other shows to watch, and it didn't grip me the way, say, 16 & Pregnant did for a day or two [where I watched episode after episode because honest to god, girls, WHAT THE FUCK?].

Anyway, I was watching Hoarders and then got this overwhelming need to TIDY UP and clean and do those things that are piling up all around - hem those pants, sew the hole in that sweater, do the dishes.

This is what I looked like. Except my apron was floral patterned.
I did all those things, and made dinner, and watched ANOTHER episode, because how could you not?

It was . . . weird.  Because I know that there are things that I need to take care of [the pile of books on the cabinet in the laundry room that are covered in dust, the cedar closet that was just cleaned out but is now filled to the rafters, the broken window in my bedroom from . . . 4 or 5 years ago?*] and then, of course, I wonder is it laziness or incipient hoarding?  How do their lives get that way?

And then I think about some of my relatives [not naming names] and their piles and piles of stuff and the seeming inability to get and stay on top of stuff.  And is this genetic? 

It seems easy enough to fix this, right?  Just grab a couple of garbage bags and START.  But I know, from watching this show and talking to people, that they always have a valid reason for the 85 boxes of Jiffy Corn Bread mix and the receipts from 15 years ago.

Just like I always have a valid reason for not fixing the window or tackling that seemingly insurmountable pile of books.

Is this how it starts?  Do I need to really home in on my love for clean lines and open spaces and get rid of everything?

Speaking of, do you remember that episode of Ab Fab, where Eddie's friends Max and Bettina visit with their baby, and Eddie was running around yelling, "CLEAN LINES AND OPEN SPACES, DARLING!"
Truly, one of the wonders of television.  If you haven't seen it, you MUST.
I tend to say that a lot when describing what I want my house to look like. It's not quite there, obviously, as I noted in my shameful disclosure.  I need to do more winnowing and tackle those overwhelming projects.  And also resign myself to the fact that with the husband, the girl and two cats, there are going to be things. Everywhere.

Sweetie darling.

* I feel I need to make clear that my house is CLEAN.  There are just some areas that are . . . not perfect.


And if you don't feel as if you have enough stuff in your house, enter my contest to win a copy of Filled with Glee!  You won't be sorry.  Winner announced on Monday!!


  1. it's a good thing I don't have cable. I've heard of Hoarders and I'd be scared to turn it on and see my mother. yes, she is a hoarder. it's awful. I think, for her, it's a manifestation of bigger problems. it's not about the stuff. it's about clinging to whatever it is you've already lost. my mom keeps everything!

    I watched an episode of Private Practice (I think) once where they had a hoarder. I had to stop and go reorganize my file cabinet. that's how I deal.

  2. I watch Hoarders once in a while. My cousin is a hoarder. It's very sad.

    However, after I read your post I had to go clean my kitchen. Wonder if there's some subliminal message in those episodes.

  3. Andygirl - I swear, anytime I see a Hoardey-type thing, I have to clean. Not just want to, HAVE TO. Sorry about your mom. That's tough.

    Renee - There must be a subliminal message, because it seems like everyone feels that way. So sorry about your cousin. It must be difficult to see.

  4. Hoarders is the cheapest therapy around. My house is always squeaky clean and organized on Tuesdays.

  5. MomZombie - Honest to god, A&E should market themselves as therapists. I would pay a $10 copay for this.

  6. My husband is a hoarder. He has the basement, the garage, and a bedroom filled with crap. I don't let him do it in the rest of the house.

  7. GrandeMocha- Ugh, that's got to be so hard. I just get so antsy when I see piles of stuff. It's so overwhelming.

  8. my ocd could not handle that show. also, have you seen "grey gardens"? those bitches were the original gangsters when it comes to hoarding. absolutely terrifying.

  9. Simone - I haven't seen Grey Gardens, but I really want to/am afraid to.


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