Tuesday, April 26, 2011

It's a sad day in America when we have to live like it's the 19th century.

So our tv stopped working.

This is a huge deal, in that we are lame, and we watch a lot of movies. And old tv shows on DVDs. Because we can't be bothered to be part of contemporary culture.  Instead, we get hooked on LOST a year or two after it finally goes off the air.

The girl has a crush on Sawyer. Isn't that . . . yeah, I totally get it.  Yowza.  Wait, that's really creepy, me and the girl crushing on the same guy.  What are we? On Falcon Crest? Blech.  Photo source.
You know what else is good?  The first and second seasons of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.  Seriously.  You should watch that show if you aren't currently watching the sixth or seventh season or whatever it's on. The husband hypothesized that it's actually another incarnation of Seinfeld, and I get it.  They are all self-involved jerks, and there's a correlation between the characters: Dennis = Jerry; Sweet Dee = Elaine; Charlie = Kramer; Mac = George; Danny DeVito = Newman. QED, bitches. Q. E. MOTHERFUCKING. D.

Anyway, we watch stuff on the tv because it's a nice way to settle down in the evening sometimes, and it's a nice way for three people who are each on a laptop ignoring each other to pretend to be doing something together.  Our family - the Norman Rockwell picture of domestic bliss.  [The husband notes: "Well, we're not fighting."]

We're going to have the tv fixed [so it won't have little baby tvs when it's out gallivanting in the wilderness of the tv repair world], and in the meantime we're watching LOST on a smaller set.  Which evidently is unacceptable, so the husband, who is still sick, is going to spend some time moving the other big tv [which has a better picture, you know, for when I'm always complaining about the lack of HD quality on the old set - honest to god, I was happy watching tv on the tiny 13 inch set, which is evidently insulting to humanity in general] out of the basement rec room and put it in the living room. 

You'd think we'd just move downstairs to the nicely finished basement with our portable laptops. You'd underestimate my animus toward basement living, honed over years of NEVER BEING ALLOWED IN THE LIVING ROOM, EVER DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT GOING IN THERE EXCEPT TO CLEAN GO BACK DOWNSTAIRS RIGHT NOW.

Yeah. So. This is my life right now.

Also, I was just eating some yogurt and got a weird smell as I took a bite - like Bandaids - and now I think I just ate Bandaid flavored yogurt.  But Greek style, so it's thicker and heartier. 

Seriously.  That tv better get fixed soon.
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Because my anger cannot be contained in one blog, head over to my post at Secret Society of List Addicts.  You'll be glad you did.

17 comments:

  1. Acchh... that smell is not nice; I wouldn't want to eat it - even in Greek Yogurt.
    We didn't have cable (yet still having access to DVD playage) all day Sunday - I think hubs was about to start fucking twitching.

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  2. Speaking of Band-Aids in food, once I begged, begged, begged my dad to buy me some egg rolls from a Chinese restaurant. He didn't want to buy them because he said Chinese restaurant kitchens were dirty. But he relented and bought some. My third bite in, guess what was mixed in with the bok choy?...YEP...a used Band-Aid. (I remember it to this day, as I was sitting in the red LTD: Smug look from dad. Then in Italian.."I told you so..")

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  3. FranceRants: A BANDAID WAS IN IT??? Oh no. That's way worse than the time there was a TUBE in my eggroll--you know, the bodily kind where special fluids pass through. Blech.

    Me so tired today I can barely even hold my coffee cup up. I SUPER LOVED the reference to Falconcrest. Falcon Crest? Whatever. Is it sad that I'm old enough to get that, or cool? Hate it when all the power niceties go out.

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  4. You could always take the laptop to the room and watch the movies on them in the meantime. I do that all the time due to my lack of cable tv. Everything is free on the net.

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  5. I can actually picture the taste of bandaid yogurt...not sure what that says about me though.

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  6. I'm the queen of catching on to shows years late. I just had a baby, so breastfeeding hours double as Joss-a-thon hours. I'm working through Buffy (for the 2nd time), as well as Angel and Firefly, both for the first time.

    Your Sunny = Seinfeld analogy is perfection.

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  7. I would feel like a pedophile if I had the hots for Justine Beiber like my daughters. Never watched Lost, but I wouldn't kick that guy in the picture out of my be. Oh, and band Aid yogurt goes great with Strawberry Boone's Farm and popcorn (I've heard).

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  8. men and TVs. good grief. the man never complains out loud about hanging out at my place, but he doesn't like to be there because even though i have an HDTV, i don't have HD cable service.

    sigh.

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  9. I believe I made a post a long time ago about our TV addiction... I even make a spreadsheet so that I can see what nights the DVR is most likely to catch on fire... I think the week we stayed in our house post-hurricane with no power was the worst week ever.

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  10. How did I not know about the reincarnation of Seinfeld?

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  11. Okay now I need to order Lost on Netflix.

    I watched the whole series the first time around.

    But holy hell that picture of that man? Delicious.

    Much more delicious than Bandaid yogurt.

    Or Fidel in a Tommy Bahama shirt (bah!)

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  12. Falcon Crest!!!! Hilarious!!!!
    I am a TV addict...I have a serious problem, lol.
    So between the no tv and the bandaid smell in the yogurt...it it NOT a good day for you and my skin itches for u.

    Stay strong my friend and no more dairy ;)

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  13. OMFG I miss Lost so much. I had forgotten how much I missed it til I saw that picture. Holy geez...

    We rarely watch current TV either. In fact, here's an example of how we roll: I force my husband to start watching The Ten Commandments the night before Easter because, well, that's just what you do. I go to bed around 10:00. HE on the other hand stays up to watch the whole thing and then announces the next morning that he ordered it on blu-ray. So we watched some of that last night before I started to fall asleep at...wait for it...8:45. This is how we roll. We're TV senior citizens.

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  14. i absolutely love Sunny in Philadelphia. it's insane. and your analysis of it is right on. didn't ever think of that. but yep, you nailed it.

    i love the television. i abuse it like a narcotic. and i'm not ashamed.

    at least i'm not fighting... (love your husband)

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  15. Scariest thought ever: My life sans tv! Every once in awhile I go insane and think I'm going to cancel cable and get rid of the tv but then I realize this blessed machine has kept my marriage happy and made me a better person because instead of being out punching annoying people in the face I can go home and watch the Daily Show or some murder/law show.

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Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.