Monday, April 4, 2011

Me and Groups

I tend to join groups on the internet when I find them interesting and they seem like a pretty good fit for me: SITS Girls, Mom Bloggers, Funny Not Slutty, Studio 30 Plus.

And then I get very . . . ehhhhh, what am I doing? I can barely post and/or comment on people's blogs.

[I also tend not to remember to Google-follow people - so if I'm not following you, don't sweat it, I'm just lame.  Mostly because I'm not sure what it means to follow people via Google. Is there some clubhouse where we're meeting? Because I didn't get the memo.]

So I end up haphazardly stopping by those sites and thinking about posting on them, but I get distracted or I think I should be looking for a "real" job or it seems like so. much. work. to upload a post when I could be just re-watching Scrubs again [I think I have a problem.  Seriously.  I was noticing set design themes between Scrubs and Cougar Town.  I need to step away from Bill Lawrence's t.v. worlds.]
I spent an embarrassing amount of time trying to find the exact lamp I've been looking for from the Scrubs/Cougar Town sets.  It's similar to this, but it's got a red ceramic base.  It was on both shows and I want it in my house. Please, stop me. My family doesn't deserve this.
So I'm always surprised when people find me or, once they do find me on the massive internets, find me entertaining.  Because I'm not very good at selling myself.  Besides being inherently awesome, I am not one of those people who thinks: I'll just go on over here and insinuate myself in this world and TADA! People will flock to me! Awesomeness will happen!

And usually I'm o.k. with that.  I mean, I have a nice coterie of people who follow along on this blog and who think I'm hilarious on Twitter [which I'm totally taking as a compliment, by the way, no matter how "Queen of the Dorks" that sounds - and not even that I'm a Queen, although I wouldn't mind being a Duchess - all the royal treatment, markedly less responsibility AND I think you get free cheese] and I really am thrilled about that.  I even get excited and pester the husband to show him, "Look! Look who thinks I'm funny!" or "Hey! You know how I talk about that internet person that neither of us has ever met, and how I think she's cool? WELL, GUESS WHAT? SHE THINKS I'M COOL!! FUCK YEAH!"

But if I'm going to be a writer - if I am, in fact a writer, which I am - I'll have to do a better job getting myself out there.

Do any of you find yourselves struggling with this? Or does it seem like a natural progression - that you'll just go from here to there to everywhere and of course it works that way? I just sometimes get that feeling like it's a calculated methodology, which I shy away from, because I feel like I should be creating and having fun and be growing organically.

Or maybe that's just a fantasy land.  One that Bill Lawrence will screenwrite.


  1. I love Bill. He's my homeboy. LOL.

    I find it super hard; but I DO LOVE my google reader - cuz when I log on to MY site, I have the feed of the blogs I'm all "googled" up with - they come to me - it's fucking genius, cuz I don't have the time to search them out.

  2. I find very hard to even think of something to write. And the only group I'm in is The Red Dress Club. And that one thing has me almost overwhelmed.

  3. Yes, yes, and yes. Self-promotion is truly not my style, but it seems to be the nature of the bloggy beast.

    I was on vacation last week and didn't read a single blog. All week long, I felt this overwhelming guilt about non-reciprocated comments. Oy vey.

  4. Yes. I never know where to start, and the I start to wonder if I'm never going to get it right. Which usually leads to me watching 90210 reruns on the Soap network and trying to tell myself to chill the fuck out.

    Related: Go tell your husband I think you're so funny!

  5. For real. Are we the same fucking person? I try really hard to be a good internets person and comment and read blogs and generally be the blogosphere's Mother Teresa but I have so much on my plate right now: watching Price is Right, staring blankly into the distance pondering what has become of my life, looking for a boyfriend, not looking for a job, tweeting nonsense....I could go on, but I won't.

    Should we start a group for lazy asses? :)

  6. First Bill Lawrence rocks my life.

    Second, none of us really knows what the hell we're doing. We're all in this existential crisis place which is probably why most of us STARTED blogging to begin with.

    So, yah. I don't know what the hell my point is. Now I have to check if I'm following you via GFC cause I can never remember either.

  7. Yes, I use the Google Reader and Google Dashboard for commenting. I just try to comment here and there when I can. Another thing I will do sometimes is look at my comment list on my Google tabs and return comment favors to people who have commented on me. I try to do what I can and not stress over it. It is kind of addicting, but then again, some weeks I just have to take a break from it.

  8. i do my little self-promotion dance from time to time: i put up links to my posts on twitter, and i have a little facebook fan page or whatever. but by and large, i don't seek a widely public audience. i'm always kinda stunned when one of you wonderful blog people picks me up and says nice things about me.

    really, it's all about the ego boost for me. :)

  9. Yes to it all.

    It's all about the discipline, which I lack.

    It might be adult ADD, I don't know.

    But I do know, that you have to work it, to make it happen.

    And I just have too much fun with the people I love on the internet, their blog posts, them on twitter: I just have too much fun.

    Adult ADD?

  10. I always forget to follow on GFC but I do have a lot of blogs in my reader which helps.

  11. I hate self-promotion. It gives me hives and is the opposite of natural for me.

    I started a blog and a Twitter account on the advice of my agent who told me I appeared to be a social misfit without any media/networking skills to my credit.

    As reluctant as I was then, I love it now. But not the part where I have to care about who is following or reading or RT'ing or whatever.

    I, too, get excited when I receive positive feedback and I feel like a bit of an asshole for caring.

    But I do. And I feel like I could get addicted to the whole ordeal if I'm not careful. But I hate being careful so...

    You aren't alone. And you are inherently fabulous. So there's that.

    (p.s. I, too, am baffled about the Google follow because nothing happens as far as I can tell. Still. I am a social misfit, so that may be why.)

  12. I think I might just be fickle. I'm great at promoting myself on a new sight, joining up, making friends, commenting like crazy! then I get burnt out and stop going there. then I discover a NEW sight and it all starts again.

  13. Coterie...nice! I will borrow that word.

    I used to have a real career, but up and quit last summer.

    Now I'm a writer. Or am I? Does someone actually have to buy your work to be a writer?

    I beg you to watch Celebrity Apprentice this season because Gary Busey will rock your world. As I told you before, Courtney has those funky lips now.

  14. Oh, I forgot to answer your questions.

    Yes, I struggle with it because I was a somebody in my prior career and now I'm a nobody.

    But I get to spend more time with my kids and I am happier, even though right now I am cleaning 6 years worth of crap that has collected under my bathroom sink and found a bag of Kotex that could be used on an elephant and I wonder: should I put this on Twitter?

  15. just keep doing what you're doing. your good, so more people will find out about you. also, writing for other websites is a good way to get yourself out there more. i have you feature on "My Picks" - so i hope that gets more traffic to your blog. you are cool. too cool to be queen. i say, king. because you rule.

  16. I want to be in the lazy asses club! I've given up on self-promotion (well, not that I ever did any, but I'm giving up on lying and saying I'll do it some day). Before I started blogging, I hadn't done any writing besides a couple of astoundingly mediocre short stories (plus people would print out my emails and ask me to autograph them. I give good email). I blog, I meet people I like, I put them on my blogroll. Anyone who hates Gwyneth Paltrow automatically goes on my blogroll.

  17. I think we all hate/suck at self promotion.

    You know, except those magical few.

    And let's face it.

    They're probably killing unicorns to make it all work.

  18. Let's see, I am about four years into this blogging thing and I still have no freakin' idea what I'm doing. I just write stupid stuff about sporks, pimp it on Twitter, comment like mad elsewhere, and hope the unicorn of blogging wealth and fame will trot into my yard one day.
    Just as an aside, I rarely like the blogs that are oh-so-promoted. I don't care what you think of the freebie Dyson you received and are giving away if I write the best limerick about dust.

  19. I totally get what you are saying! I just started my blog and a. practically cream in my knickers when someone I don't know personally COMMENTS on my blog and b. i have dreams of fame and fortune but how, oh how, am I going to get there without a giant spreadsheet and more TIME? Plus, I want to keep it real, y'know, which is hard enough in itself, so all that self-promotion seems a little disingenuous. But maybe that's my deflated ego speaking that's been harangued by an out of sorts 4.5 year old FOR THE PAST 2 HOURS (get me a drink, someone, fast!!!!!)

  20. Oh, self-promotion. I tend to not like people who self-promote. I mean, it's not their fault, per se, that they love themselves so much. No, I take that back. It is their fault. And possibly their parents', too.

    I've been sick and I don't have cable, so I've spent a crazy amount of time googling exes. Remember Katie from last summer? I stumbled upon her new web site (if you're curious, I'll email you the address so you can join me in judging her). And wow, bitch loves to self-promote. Now it all seems so clear why we could never be together.

    I want bloggy/writey success. But I want it to happen organically. Which probably means I should be posting fliers at Whole Foods.

    Anyway. I owe you an email. But here's a long comment, in the meantime.

  21. I think most of us struggle to walk that line between overdoing it and not participating. I'm a very haphazard blogger, though. i only post 1x a week and read other blogs 1 (sometimes 2) night a week too.

  22. ps: Ketchup IS for winners! I love that this is your mantra.


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.