Sometimes it's just bad fucking news all around. I can't believe all the bad news this week. I really can't.
I've been sick for almost 2 weeks. It's been miserable. I went to the doctor and she gave me a flu test, which, have you had one of these? Your nostril gets jabbed for 10 SECONDS by an extra long Q-tip. 10 ACTUAL SECONDS. That my doctor counted. NOT FUN. But at least I don't have the flu. Yay?
I made a lemon blueberry yogurt coffee cake that was quite possible the worst thing ever baked in my house, including the "potions" the girl and her friends used to make when they were wee. I still ate it, of course, because I've been sick and it was easy to eat. Terrible, but easy.
I still don't have a job.
Finally, someone ended up on my blog with a search term that is so disgusting and awful that I can't even share it, but it keeps soiling my brain by popping up unexpectedly. THAT BAD. What the fuck? Seriously? GET AWAY FROM MY BLOG, YOU WASTE OF CELLS. I hope you fucking die a slow, horrible painful death.
And now onto the world at large:
Radiation in Glasgow. Because I'm sure the jackasses at the nuclear reactors in Japan have everything under control.
The news that Ina Garten was refusing a kid's Make A Wish. INA GARTEN! My food savior! And then it turns out that maybe she's not evil, she just hadn't heard about it, so that's kind of a silver lining, right? Who even knows what to believe anymore? Maybe she's been irradiated, too.
Clarence Thomas [yes! Him again!] finally opens his bitch-ass mouth on the bench and it's to deliver a horrible 5-4 [of course] decision reversing a lower court's $14mil award to a New Orleans man who was wrongfully convicted and imprisoned for 18 year - 14 years on Death Row - and was going to be EXECUTED due to prosecutorial misconduct. Which the Evil Five decided was simply error and not a pattern of misconduct under a shitty, racist DA. Of course.
Cocksucking motherfucking asshole Michigan Governor Snyder decides to quietly tack on a 6 week DECREASE of state unemployment benefits. Because what does the state with arguably the worst unemployment rate in the country need? Less benefits. FUCKING ASSHOLE BASTARD.
The despicable disparity of this country. NYT opinion columnist Bob Herbert left the paper, and in his final column he declares that this country has lost its way, and drops this bomb: From 2000 - 2007, the top 10% in this country received 100% of the average income growth. Read that again, and try not to die a little. This fucking goddamn world.
So, friends, I need some good news today. Give me a happy thought. I'll start:
It's Clinique Bonus Time.
Seriously. That's what I've got this week.
Help me out.