Anyway, here's what's going on in the world.
The Taliban decided it was tired of being stuck in one place, so there was a mass prison break in Kandahar. I hadn't realized it was the Stalag 13 of prisons - a 1,000 foot tunnel? Really? Where was Colonel Klink? And did Sgt. Shultz really see NOTHING? About 480 prisoners braved their claustrophobia and pulled a Shawshank. I'm sure we'll see them again. Way to go, Colonel Hogan of the Taliban. Way to go.
In good news, Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords is showing improvement, enough so that she'll be at her husband's shuttle launch. Amazing. Seriously, how incredible that this woman has made such strides in such a short time?
This actually happened last week, but I forgot to include it, and I think it's important. Robert Bobb, the emergency financial manager of the Detroit Public Schools, decided to close more schools in an effort to save money. Among the schools he's closing? The Catherine Ferguson Academy, the only school of its kind in the country, where young pregnant women and teen mothers can go and finish high school. The school has a 90% graduation rate and a 100% college acceptance rate. But it's better off for everyone if it's close. Assholes.
I am not going to discuss the whole [whispers] birth certificate thing [clears throat] because that is just fucking embarrassing for us as a country.
There's been insane weather in the South. The devastation is heart-rending. Nothing funny or snarky there. [Although I did hear a weather person standing in a tornado-devastated area, where houses were completely swept away, say, "And these were brick houses. This wasn't a trailer park!"]
Anytime people tell that there's no reason to be a feminist because women have made such huge strides, point them to this fact: Title IX discrimination in sports continues unabated. Rather than make difficult decisions for men's sports, colleges and universities have been fudging numbers to show that there are equal numbers of women in sports since 1972 when Title IX passed and required gender equity in college sports. And by fudging numbers I mean things like half the women's fencing practice team is men [Cornell], women's names are placed on track rosters without their knowledge [University of South Florida], and women's practice basketball teams include men [Duke, Texas A&M]. This, despite the fact that 57% of people attending college are women. This quote sums it up:
Those of us in the business know that universities have been end-running Title IX for a long time, and they do it until they get caught,” said Donna E. Shalala, the president of the University of Miami.Nice, right?
And on a final note, there was a wedding this morning. Did you watch? Did you know they had an official website?
Wedding or not, I am just happy it's Friday and that I actually get to see the sun this morning......
ReplyDeleteSo glad Katie and Willy finally tied the knot. Now the whole world can quit spazzing out.
ReplyDeleteDepressing about the school closing. I think Indiana is trying to cancel all funding to Planned Parenthood too. A week of assholes.
ReplyDeleteIn honor of NIAW I was going to write a open letter to Donald Trump into bullying my uterus to perform. Seriously he annoys someone long enough Shit gets done, but he's an idiot, because seriously how much longer does he think that he can get away with acting like a belligerant child????
ReplyDeleteand that story about Detroit, tore me up today. Sometimes I just really fucking hate people.
but I love u...so that's enough today.
oooh...you seductress you...you got Kir to drop the F bomb.
ReplyDeleteI felt the ripples over here.
love you, woman.
oooh...you seductress you...you got Kir to drop the F bomb.
ReplyDeleteI felt the ripples over here.
love you, woman.
Watching the news this morning bouncing between "Look at the gorgeous lace and the sparkly crown! The smiles on these two are priceless!!" to "Utter devastation in the south where massive tornadoes have leveled homes and killed hundreds." had me so up and down that I think I need a Xanax. And a cocktail. Or both.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same Desperate Housemommy...NOW can we stop obsessing over what dress she will wear and if she will trip going down the aisle!? geez...there are so much more important things going on right now. Like how I'm hungry...
ReplyDeletethis alabama girl would like to find that weather guy who made the trailer-park crack and show him some southern hospitality. jackass.
ReplyDeleteAs always, you are spot on.
ReplyDeleteAnd I love that you can make me smile (or smirk) in the midst of discussing horrible news.
(god, did I just hear someone sing "The sun'll come out tomorrow"?)
Shoot me before then, please.
I mean, "I LOVE OPTIMISTIC MUSICALS!"
Just not that one.
a mile-wide tornado... wtf world?
ReplyDeleteI'm going to cancel my daily paper and just get all my news from you from now on. Oh wait, I'm Canadian. Can you add a little more CanCon?
ReplyDeleteit's friday. That means that I can make a cocktail and forget that the world is rife with assholes for an evening.
ReplyDeleteThe birthers are embarressing. However, that asshat Trump might be the best thing that could happen, drive all the middle-of-the-roaders to the left because the right is just too stupid and crazy.
ReplyDeleteAt least I hope so.
I sincerely believe you are my midwestern doppleganger. I think so many of the same things as you. but I have to vent about one thing (bxxth cexxtfxxxat)- two days after we saw our President look at the press with unmitigated disappointment that he was being forced to address this crap, CBS news radio was reporting the story as follows: "People in Alabama angry that President addressed BC rather than their woes." Beat reporter in ALABAMA asking people about President's response say (paraphrased) "Shouldn't the president have been paying attention to Alabama and the storms rather than this silly BC thing?" At this point I thought to myself, "maybe some people get what they deserve." I really really did. And I am not ready to take it back yet.
ReplyDeleteI don't get it - who got what they deserved?
ReplyDeleteI can't believe my school was listed above - FOR SHAME! Good thing I wasn't an athlete. I'd be even more pissed.
ReplyDeleteAnd wait, there was a wedding?
Every time I read your news posts, it reminds me why I don't bother reading the news in the first place. Who got married? ; )
ReplyDeleteI'm reviewing your blog for Blog of War. Fantastic! You are one funny dude/dudette/sunonymous. I first became a follower so it would easier for me to latch on to your blog. But, now I'm just going to stay and will get others to do so (and won't even need the gun). So...you have THAT going for you. Which is nice. OK, I'm done slobbering now. I'm embarrassing the dog.
ReplyDeleteIf I got shot in the head, I'd milk that shit for the rest of my life.
ReplyDelete