Wednesday, May 4, 2011

To Sleep, Perchance to Have Really Weird Thoughts

I listen to a lot of classical music.  My alarm is set to a classical music station in the morning, so I usually spend an hour listening to the music and the hilarious DJ [Seriously.  He kills.  As I've noted before, he name checked the Bluth Banana Stand and Arrested Development.].

I spend an hour listening because I still have my alarm set as if I'm going to wake up and do yoga and go to work, even though I generally do not.  Neither yoga or work [WHOOT FUNEMPLOYMENT, BITCHES!]. 

And the husband - oh, the husband.  He PURPOSEFULLY will set the alarm an hour or so early so he can get extra sleep time.  Don't ask me how that works.  I have no idea.  It's like he goes out of his way to be obnoxious about sleeping.

I also listen to classical music in the car sometimes, to calm the road rage.  This works about 50% of the time, less often if I'm hungry or people are being particularly stupid two or more days in a row.  At that point, it's classic rap music, and motherfuckers better be getting out of my way.

Anyway, as I said, I listen to a lot of classical music, and for some reason, a lot of it seems to be directed by Andre Previn.

Who was married to Mia Farrow.

Together they adopted Sun Yi Previn.

Who ended up shacking up with Woody Allen.

Which is quite possibly the most disgusting thing to happen in family relationships since VC Andrews wrote Flowers in the Attic.

So I often, daily, will have to think - Jesus, do you think Andre Previn is skeeved by the fact that Woody Allen is banging his daughter?

Because I would be.


  1. Yeah. I'm thinking you need a good, solid, annoying BEEP of an alarm.

  2. Weird where the mind goes, isn't it? My personal favorite is having the music/commercials on the radio seep into my dreams.

    But I don't use an alarm to get up anymore. I just...wake up at or around the right time. It's weird.

  3. I listen to classical music sometimes too. It makes me feel all classy and shit.
    Also: I'm going to go out on a limb and say Andre and Woody don't have the best Father-in-law/son-in-law relationship. Call me crazy!

  4. That whole Woody and Sun Yi situation was so seriously fucked up it required its own category of fucked upedness on the fuckedupometer.

    You are a proper grown up. Respect, dude.

    Sarah xxx

  5. I think Jesus would be skeeved that anyone is banging Woody. I mean, have you seen him lately?

  6. there's money in the banana stand... and i read flowers in the attic 4 times!

  7. Wow, not the ending I expected when I started reading, lmao. I learned a lot from Flower in the Attic, if you know what I mean. I won't be letting my daughter read them when she's 10 is all I'm saying!

  8. I can't imagine what EITHER of them was thinking.

    Come on...that's YOUR DAD.

    And...That's YOUR daughter.

    Poor Mia.

    Can you imagine?? Finding out in a polaroid picture???

  9. FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC FOR THE WIN: My first and only written foray into incestual, its really really really true: incest jokes are never funny.

  10. In my humble opinion, that Sunny is either seriously warped or super courageous. I'd rather be dragged naked by wild horses than to bed Woody. OMG, I just threw up in my mouth thinking about it! I'm howling with this post, especially with the classical music to calm road rage remark! Good stuff! :0)

  11. wow. woody allen AND flowers in the attic. i'm skeeved now. :)

  12. you know what was disgusting: I read that flowers in the attic and totally rooted for the bro and sis to get it on. WHAT THE EFF DOES THAT SAY ABOUT ME? Damn you VC Andrews. Damn you.

    Woody Allen's just gross now. My brother tries to convince me that his films are genius, but I'm all "nope. He's gross."

  13. Didn't quite see that coming. I'm sure Andre Previn's music reflects rage somewhere. That is weird that whole situation.

  14. How funny about classical and rap. I'm a 45 year old white woman who enjoys rap. Which, you're right, is not always great while driving. It will be interesting to see if I ever outgrow this and mature into classical.

  15. Yeah, but are any of them connected to Kevin Bacon?
    I listen to classical music, too (in fact, I'm listening to Holtz' "The Planets" right now. That Pluto sure is one Mickey Mouse planet, huh?), but no way would I trust it to wake me (except Ride of the Valkyries-that might work).
    Speaking of VC Andrews.....didn't she die sometime in the 80s or something? If so, where are all her books coming from? Does Heaven have a fax machine (believe it or not, I'm being serious-why ARE there all those books? Do you know?)

  16. I think arrested development should be on the radio to calm road rage

  17. Maybe your cure for road rage could be a book-on-tape as read by Jeffrey Tambor. Just sayin'

  18. Well, as long as the classical music has a calming effect ...

  19. I have never fully seen the beauty in classical music until just this moment.

  20. I listen to a lot of classical music, too - I think the classical DJs need to be funny because you simply have no clue what your day is going to bring you (you could end up swamped with requests on a given day . . . or you could go weeks with barely anything and you need to arrange your music from the vast sea that is "classical music"). You need to have the ability to entertain yourself.

    It would drive me absolutely crazy to know somebody who was sleeping with Woody Allen - but on the topic of celebrity fucking...

    I once played Taboo with Rachel Miner's brother (the chick who married Macualay Culkin). At one point, of course, Macualay Culkin's name came up as I was the judge - and the "you can't say these words" were super difficult. The guy who I was supervising looked at Peter and said "he's fucking your sister."

    The other team won that round of Taboo.

  21. I think he should conduct some sort of angry at Woody Allen for banging my daughter composition. It could change classical music forever. And possibly kill his career. One or the other.

  22. I only have $10 ok??? I'll send it! LOL

    and my wanders so often like that I literally come up for air thinking how the HELL did I come up with THAT??? And then I try to tell John, he laughs at me and tells me that I have to stop thinking. OH the joy that would be. RIGHT???

    and that whole Woody Allen thing...seriously FUCKED up. And thanks for making me think of Flowers in the Attic , now I'm going to have incest dreams all week. SHIT!

  23. In the universe in which your wife was previously married to (and presumabely banging) Frank Sinatra, I'd say skeeve-ness is relative.


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