Friday, May 27, 2011

Week in Review - It's Raining, It's Pouring, Shut Up With the Snoring

Oh, my darlings. I've been meh all week.  I'm not sure if it's Labor Memorial Day Ennui [It's a thing.  I swear.  And I ALWAYS get those two mixed up.] or just the realization that Cougar Town is ending its season [I haven't watched the recent episodes yet; no spoilers, please.], but I've been so anxious and simultaneously lethargic.  It's hell on my psyche.

But never fear! I've compiled a precise of things you need to know this week. 

This week has been a monstrous clusterfuck, weather-wise.   There have been incredible storms, particularly those that wiped out Joplin, Missouri.  Give if you can - you know where your money should go. 

Ratko Mladich, a war criminal for his actions in the former Yugoslavia, including overseeing the genocide of over 7,500 Bosnian Mulsim men & boys in Srebrenica, was finally found living in Belgrade, Serbia.  Funny how he managed to spend the last 16 years enjoying the good life in Serbia's capital unharmed.  Sad that so many Serbian nationalists still think he's a great guy.  He's off to The Hague for trial.

Dude, COME ON.  Obama signed an extension to the Patriot Act.  Be extra careful what you say and do, people.  THEY ARE WATCHING.  Seriously.  They are.

Prisoners are becoming quite crafty in getting a drug - Suboxone, which is used to treat opiate addiction - into prison by having their confederates on the outside crush it into a paste and smear it on coloring book pages, which their kids then color, and onto the backs of stamps.  I know, I know, there are all sorts of socio-economic reasons that people turn to crime, but if you have this kind of wherewithal and ingenuity in pursuing illegal goals, think of what you could do in the straight world.  You could be a hedge fund manager and really clean up!  Legally!

In Canada, a Nova Scotia couple is suing the government.  They want to grow medical marijuana, but are too poor to do so.  So they expect the province to pay for lighting equipment, because they can't afford it on their disability income.  They are alleging discrimination.  Last year, a Halifax woman won a lawsuit forcing the province to pay her medical marijuana producing costs.

What can I say after that?  Nothing.  What have you got for me?  I'm dying to know.


  1. Okay, here's mine, and it's kinda lame, but I gotta say it: my dog has been shedding two vacuum canisters a day for the past week.

    Is there such a thing as "St. Bernard pattern baldness?" :-)

  2. Well, the thing about the Toronto couple who are choosing to let their child be gender-free?

    That got my goat. What kind of parents use their children as science experiments? Gah.

  3. My problems all seem stupid today. I even feel stupid ranting about them, which sucks, because ranting is one of the things i do best (if I do say so myself... or maybe I'm kidding myself because I so badly need to justify my frequent ranting. whatever.). I just want to drink. Is that so wrong? But mainly I just WANT to drink but don't actually drink, so I guess that's okay. We're talking about alcohol, by the way, just to clarify for anyone who didn't realize that (though what that says about you is a whole other story). I am up in the air about blogging, wondering if I really should be devoting so much time to it... so I've slowed down as I ponder this... and so have my page views... which is depressing... but this is the nature of this 24/7 beast that is the blogiverse. It needs to be fed more than (insert un-politically correct obese celebrity's name here, if you are so inclined... but I'm too tired to come up with it myself).

    Sigh. So that's how the fuck I am. Staring out at dreary weather, but happy it's not a tornado, and wondering why the fuck I have a bazillion people coming over to enjoy my swimming pool both Sunday and Monday. When the fuck did I decide to be so damn social? How could I not realize I hate most people? Or... (epiphany coming!)... I hate myself the most! Therefore, I torture myself by being around people I hate slightly less than myself! Hmmm... interesting.

  4. I like your weekly news recaps.

    And all I can say is that it's the end of May and the spring here in Chicago sucked and today it's frickin' 55. 55! For reals and it's May 27th!

    And you left out that Sarah Palin is moving to Arizona. Alaska to Arizona. Trippy. I wonder if she's going to hunt javelina now.

  5. Misfit Mommy - That is hilarious. Seriously. Best comment ever.

    Alison - Oh, I forgot about that! What the hell? People are a mess. That poor kid.

    Minka - Oh, hon. That blows. The blogging ennui and the having crappy people over. Don't hate yourself the most - save that for others. It's WAY more therapeutic.

    France - Ugh, Sarah Palin. Can Arizona secede, too? Also, the weather is stinky, here, too, but it's going to be 90 on Monday. The hell?

  6. Alison took the words out of my mouth...or took the type out of my fingers or whatever. That's been on my mind most of the morning as well, and she hit the nail on the head: what kind of parents, indeed!

    p.s. gotta love those monstrous war criminals. They're my favourite.

    Oh yeah--and how about greasy nutbar finally getting his due years after abducting poor little Elizabeth Smart? God, you could die before you get closure on some of these crimes.

  7. love your weekly wrap ups! also your blog is so great that i read the others first and save yours for last. it always make feel better knowing that someone else out there has similar views and voices them in a non bull shit way.

  8. poor MO.
    big brother continues.
    i want some of those stamps.
    teenagers grow it in their closets sack up, dudes.

  9. what a week indeed...

  10. Want to come over and watch the season finale of Cougar Town with me? If this was ten years ago I would be SO PISSED because my PVR only recorded 34 minutes of the hour (yeah yeah, if this was ten years ago I wouldn't have a PVR) - thank god for itunes. Another baseball game cancelled tonight. And no one's jumped on my suggestion that we all just go inside and play checkers for this season.

  11. And the Obamas had a sit-down with the Prince and Kate Middleston. I think Andrew really wanted a barbecue so he could show off his mad jarts skills.

  12. I meant Prince William. Sheesh, if you're gonna be a wiseguy, it's best to get your facts straight.

  13. Obama went to Poland and Ireland.

    So sick of the RAIN! Ug. So depressing. I just want to eat carbs and nap.

    And I still can't comment on Blogger with my Google login.


  14. Is it your Birthday this week?? its lance's Birthday too! Happy happy day to you and all the most wonderful wishes!

    Also I am fixated on the people leaving their pets/children/llamas in their cars to die of heat exhaustion this week. "Already???" you say? yep. three kids dead, and its only memorial day. GAHHHHH!!!

  15. I'm just really bummed that all of the cool shows are over or about to be over until the fall. What's a mom to do without a good TV show to zone out in front of?

  16. I have so missed you!!! Sorry I was M.I.A. (although, sadly, not that MIA cuz then I'd be hot and rich). I don't know what Obama was thinking signing the Patriot Act??? Maybe Newt Gingrich has some racy pics of him and Hilary?

  17. Ennui TOTALLY is a thing. I get it all the time and I love you for mentioning it. I love you for a lot of other reasons too.


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.