Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Never again. Yes, I know I say that every time, but I'm serious now.

I am a volunteer-er.

I just am.

I raise my hand.

I host political get togethers.

I donate stuff.

I say I'm not going to, and then I do.  I end up in the girl's classroom, on the PTA, running programs, organizing events for attorneys, being a big part of the community.

Usually, I'm o.k. with it.  Usually, I like that feeling of giving and helping.

I have, however, had enough.

I got stuck putting together what I consider the most stupid-ass stupid bullshit stupid thing in the world.  Something that I think is a massive waste of time and energy.  Something that is pointless and egregiously annoying - the end of the school year party.


I got stuck because no one stepped up to chair this.  And because I am a person who picks up when others are slacking, I am CONSTANTLY getting emails like this:

"Yeah, I said I'd help, but it looks like you've got it under control, and I'm busy, and there are plenty of other people who will help, and maybe I could do something, but you seem to have it under control, so I'll just not do anything.  Ok?  Great."

And what I want to reply is:

"Listen you stupid fucking twat, not that I want your help because obviously you are completely fucking useless and should be hidden away so that your douchiness doesn't cause some kind of black hole of fuckitude and suck the world inside out, but DO NOT offer to help and then say you are TOO BUSY to help.  EVERYONE IS TOO BUSY, you fucking cunt bag!  EVERYONE!  I AM! But I'm doing this, because I SAID I WOULD.  TWAT!"

God.  What is WRONG with people?  How are they so fucking self-involved that they think an email telling me that they are too important to do something they said they'd do would be fine?

I fucking hate people.  I swear to god.  I really, really do.

But not you.  I LOVE you.


  1. I get it. I do. I'm the one who always says "yes" to everything. So I've been in your boat before!!! I say, let her create that black hole of suckitude, at least until it's big enough to swallow her whole. Then we'll figure out a way to close it before all the "yes" people get sucked in, too.

  2. If you wanted to be really meta, you could put together an End of Volunteering for Party Planning party. Go out with a bang!

  3. I hate people, too. People suck. But not you.

  4. Whatever you do don't run a blog competition....Way to painful....

    Sadly in life there are givers and takers… a lot of takers would rather die than say “no” to doing something (ooooh, people might think badly of me) but seem to have no trouble not actually doing what they said they would, even though it ends up stuffing everyone up. What they don’t realise is people stop thinking badly about them and actually start hoping they would actually die ....You got to love ‘em….

  5. I think the word "twat" should be used more often. I also think bitch-slapping stupid twats should be legalized. Maybe even made into a sport. Televised even! I'd watch.

  6. Me too.

    I hate people too.

    I wish they'd stop talking to me and wanting me to DO stuff.

    But not you. I love you.

  7. I am someone is seems to have the time to do all those things that need to get done. I hope the word doesn't get out to too many committees looking for help.

  8. Fuck committees. No more. At least for a while. Love you too.

  9. Damn it. I do that too. UGH!

  10. wanna be in my "IHOP" club?
    (i hate other people)

  11. Two field trips in two weeks. This one was because two parents cancelled at the last minute. I hear ya. And I would totally join a committee to increase the frequency of usage of the word twat.

  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

  13. I LOVE that you HATE people. I do too. My husband and I joke that the only reason we got married is because we hate eachother just slightly less than we hate every one else. A true American Love story, right? Also, I hate end of year parties. Thinking of skipping them this year...which makes me the self-absorbed twat you are talking about. Sorry.

  14. I am the worst delegator in the world because I KNOW no one else can be relied on to help or if they do pretend to help, they'll only half-ass the job and piss me off and cause me to have to do it over again. I hate people. But not you, or you, or you, but if I had to be on a committee with you or do a group project with you, I would probably stab you.

  15. Oh, whew. I thought you hated me for a minute. My husband thinks it's hilarious to point out that I hate other people (other than you, I mean). "She won't do that, she HATES people," he'll say. After which, I am supposed to...what, exactly?

  16. I am always reminded of a line from Mary Poppins, when Mrs. Banks sings, "Sister Suffragette."

    "Tho' we adore men individually,
    We agree that as a group,
    They're rah-ther stoo-pid."

    I'm like that with people, sort of. I like them...from a distance.

  17. I am glad we is friends now- you need me. I never volunteer for any shit, and I can help you say no and not give a rats patootey.

    That said, end of the year parties ROCK. Roller skating at Bonaventure, H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks YES. I can hear the Te Pau and Air Supply already. Where is my Billy Squier riding a unicorn that is racing away from a pack of wolves in the moonlight T-shirt and my speed skates?

  18. I fucking hate people, too. Really hard.

    Hate is my default. And even with the bar set so low that it's practically under ground, people still find a way to disappoint me.

  19. i was always one of those people who would get stuck in those situations because i had this sense of "oh no, if i don't do it, it won't get done, and the world will end!"

    the divorce pretty much stripped me of my give-a-damn in that regard.

  20. I hear ya! Last time I volunteered for something, it ended with a room full of people staring at my ass. Kind of a funny story, if you want to read it. LOVE your blog!

  21. awesome. people. btw my husband always says that he will volunteer when the judge makes him.

  22. I knew you weren't talking about me.

    You love me.

  23. My blogging twin, I so get this.

    I am starting to fucking hate people myself, because I am always "there" doing the stuff and they are there ignoring me. It makes me so angry to give so much of myself and get nothing in return.

    That person who wrote that note: douche!!!!!!!! Jesus!

    If u slap her, I've totally got your back ;)

  24. This drives me crazy, too - somebody wants to say "look at me and how great I am because I'm volunteering" without, you know, doing any of the actual volunteer work. Grrrr.

  25. I'm not there when they ask for volunteers. ;) I ignore the emails.

  26. I see we are surrounded by THE SAME IDIOTS. Why do they always outnumber us?


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.