Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Oh, yeah, THAT'S what work is like (It kind of sucks)

First, I want to thank the lovely and talented Karensomethingorother for doing such an excellent job as the inaugural Guest Poster.  I'm also bitter and sad about Amy Winehouse dying, and full of loathing for Katy Perry, and hell, yes, those shades have to be drawn and . . . well, this is devolving.

Anyway, thanks so much and tune in next Tuesday for the next mystery Guest Poster.  And tomorrow for the husband.  He better have written something, or there will be blood.

I'm back at work, and it's not terrible.  There is a learning curve, of course, because there are things that you forget when you've been out of work for almost 4 months, such as:

Giddy anticipation of your paycheck.  I've been sitting at my desk, working, when I'll suddenly be seized by the need to know HOW MUCH MONEY I will be making if I work, say, 50 hours this week.  And so I start tabulating and then I start thinking, well, why don't I work 54 hours, and then I think, well, why not 60 hours and then I punch myself in the head and dial it down.  Because I am not working 60 hours this week.  No matter how many shiny $$$ it will bring me.

That incessant chatter that you CANNOT CLICK AWAY FROM.  I mentioned this on Twitter [because I am tired and so am recycling material, and also because maybe you don't follow me on Twitter and you missed this, and if you don't follow me, why not? I am fucking delightful.] and that lead to this:

Yes, you have to read it bottom up, but wouldn't it be wonderful if work was run like Twitter? WOULDN'T IT?

I also commandeered a good desk chair.  Because I would totally do that on Twitter.

People do not understand / adhere to dress codes.  Where I work it is all professionals, and I say this not because we are some fabulous elite, but because we are supposed to be PROFESSIONALS [no, not the hooker kind and not the Jean Reno kind, either.]
Although that would make for an interesting workplace.
 and we have a professional dress code, which clearly states NO OPEN TOED SHOES for women [I guess that thankfully goes without saying for the men] and so I am wearing closed toed shoes.  And I am pretty much the only one because everyone else?  Is wearing fucking flip flops.  Please, ladies, please, let this trend/fad/abomination die its rightful death.  Flip flops are for pools and public showers.  Buy a nice pair of flat sandals.  You'll look so much better. [PS Tomorrow I am being a daredevil and wearing sandals. WOOHOO!]

It is pretty near impossible to comfortably read a blog on my iPhone.  And so I am woefully even further behind on my blog reading.  But know that I love you, truly, with all my heart and cannot WAIT until I win that fucking lottery.

Anyone have any lucky numbers? 




  1. Yeah, people need to cut it out with the fucking flip-flops. Don't get me wrong, I love my flops, but in a restaurant? Ew. People might as well be BAREFOOT.

    Congrats on the job!

  2. You ARE fucking delightful, it's true.

    And I concur re flip flops, though over here we call them thongs, which is weird for you guys because thongs for you are what we call g-strings. I don't know why. The world would be easier if it were just like twitter.

    Yeah, working sucks. Let's become uber-bloggers and take over the world and make so much money being fucking delightful that we don't have to do crap jobs with stinky flip flop wearing bastards.

    All those in favour?

    Sarah xxx

    PS Karen was AWESOME

  3. Yay on the new job! I left work after my second was born in February. Mostly, I'm glad to not be working. But I used to spend my lunch hours writing and now I've lost that time. The ONLY thing I miss about working. (I would say the money, but my whole paycheck would be going toward two kids in daycare anyway. So it's a non-issue.)

  4. Not gonna lie. Work stinks, minus the initial moment of joy with the paycheck (before actually opening it and seeing the amount you are given.) However, the intrinsic rewards are lovely blah blah blah.

    All I have to say is that it severely interrupts my actual writing, meaning I have to try and be creative and on the two hours I have at night. Fail.

    Plus, no one adheres to my Twitter-as-real-life plan, nor my implementation of the Facebook-as-real-life option to "leave conversation" at any given time. But...there is a paycheck ;)

  5. Ohhh, I like shiny things. And money is shiny so by default I like money. Further, since you like money which is shiny, I guess I like you too. See how I brought that full circle? I will never be able to do that again.

  6. I'm afraid to go back to the work world. I am truly afraid. I may piss and moan about all the underpants I have to get skidmarks out of, but oh my god, if I have to be a cashier again I don't know what I'll do. I'm not trashing the cashiers of the world, I'm just saying been there, hated THAT, so I'd better start writing the fabulous book that brings the MONEY so I never have to serve the general public as a cashier again.

  7. I am guilty of the flip flops (although I would NEVER wear them to a professional job). It's a habit I am trying to kill. New flats/sandals/pumps have been purchased. Now it's the rest of the wardrobe I have to kick up a notch.

  8. YES YES YES on the fucking flip flops! I was out to dinner Saturday night with my husband and this woman was dressed in a really cute maxi dress (although her right boob was falling out) and matching flip flops. So cheap looking. Um, as was the boob situation. People should also invest in a good bra. Just sayin.

  9. I wear flip flops :( That's because I don't get to go anywhere nice.

    Sorry work sucks. At least you can still get on Twitter right?

  10. The thing I miss about working in an office is being able to run errands before/after work and during lunch. I'd get more done in 20 minutes than 3 weeks at home with the kids.

    p.s. You casually tossing out a Jean Reno reference? *SWOONING*

  11. I hate flip flops...I do, I only own one pair and they have a 1/2 heel and are black patent leather, cause that is how I roll....I always say that flops "make u sound poor" and I stand by that ...

    We are allowed to wear sandals open toed etc shoes to work and I do....but always tasteful and coordinating shoes to an outfit. Always.. ;)

    And only saving grace is being able to blog in between and being on twitter...cause I need my ladies during the day.

    Love u!!!! Miss u, see u soon!!!! Xo

  12. fucking google.

    i had a fun lil comment, but ended with lucky numbers.

    44 and 17.

    good luck.

  13. I feel for you. I have not had a j-o-b in over a year and connot imagine what it would be like. I did work this week teaching gifted students theater and after working from 1-4 each day I found myself wondering how I am going to get everything done. Oh and eating on a schedule kinda sucks....

    I told my students "no flip flops" and they protested.

  14. Holy shit you're back at work. I have to say, I'm sad about your loss of bloggy time, but happy about the influx of shiny money for you, you crazy, sandal-wearing broad!

  15. I forgive you for not loving flip flops. We'll get through this.

  16. Oh, a paycheck?

    Talk dirty to mama some more...


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