Oh, yeah, THAT'S what work is like (It kind of sucks)

First, I want to thank the lovely and talented Karensomethingorother for doing such an excellent job as the inaugural Guest Poster.  I'm also bitter and sad about Amy Winehouse dying, and full of loathing for Katy Perry, and hell, yes, those shades have to be drawn and . . . well, this is devolving.

Anyway, thanks so much and tune in next Tuesday for the next mystery Guest Poster.  And tomorrow for the husband.  He better have written something, or there will be blood.

I'm back at work, and it's not terrible.  There is a learning curve, of course, because there are things that you forget when you've been out of work for almost 4 months, such as:

Giddy anticipation of your paycheck.  I've been sitting at my desk, working, when I'll suddenly be seized by the need to know HOW MUCH MONEY I will be making if I work, say, 50 hours this week.  And so I start tabulating and then I start thinking, well, why don't I work 54 hours, and then I think, well, why not 60 hours and then I punch myself in the head and dial it down.  Because I am not working 60 hours this week.  No matter how many shiny $$$ it will bring me.

That incessant chatter that you CANNOT CLICK AWAY FROM.  I mentioned this on Twitter [because I am tired and so am recycling material, and also because maybe you don't follow me on Twitter and you missed this, and if you don't follow me, why not? I am fucking delightful.] and that lead to this:

Yes, you have to read it bottom up, but wouldn't it be wonderful if work was run like Twitter? WOULDN'T IT?


I also commandeered a good desk chair.  Because I would totally do that on Twitter.

People do not understand / adhere to dress codes.  Where I work it is all professionals, and I say this not because we are some fabulous elite, but because we are supposed to be PROFESSIONALS [no, not the hooker kind and not the Jean Reno kind, either.]

Although that would make for an interesting workplace.

 and we have a professional dress code, which clearly states NO OPEN TOED SHOES for women [I guess that thankfully goes without saying for the men] and so I am wearing closed toed shoes.  And I am pretty much the only one because everyone else?  Is wearing fucking flip flops.  Please, ladies, please, let this trend/fad/abomination die its rightful death.  Flip flops are for pools and public showers.  Buy a nice pair of flat sandals.  You'll look so much better. [PS Tomorrow I am being a daredevil and wearing sandals. WOOHOO!]

It is pretty near impossible to comfortably read a blog on my iPhone.  And so I am woefully even further behind on my blog reading.  But know that I love you, truly, with all my heart and cannot WAIT until I win that fucking lottery.

Anyone have any lucky numbers? 

I MISS YOU ALL.

XOXOXOXOXO

My Lewis Black Moment*

I was at work today and I overheard this conversational fragment:

Man: I would love to be a bear. Then I could gouge out your heart and feed it to my cubs. Well, not yours, specifically.

Woman: Not mine?

Man: No. Not yours. But that ursine thing . . . it's so . . .

And then someone started talking to me and I couldn't hear the rest, so I had to bang my head against my desk because WTF?

(* This comes from a Lewis Black bit where he talks about overhearing a woman say, "If it wasn't for my horse, I never would have made it through college," and how that phrase has haunted him and would probably be the reason he had a stroke and died.)

Feels Like Monday

The grind starts tomorrow. Ugh. I'm NOT looking forward to getting up at 6:30 and actually getting ready for the day. Not even a little bit.

But, I've painted my toenails a delicious red, and I've got my purse ready, and I'm thinking positive. I get to see my friend finally (she's been in Korea for the summer) and we can chat and mock and joke around.

Plus, it's one more day closer to the Kid being home. I miss her a lot - more than I did last year when she was gone a lot more. Surprising, since there were days when I felt like I was going to maim her for talking. so. damn. much.

ON A TANGENT:

What's your weakness? Mine is bags/purses. It's like I can't ever have enough. I'm not one who needs the latest label bag, but if I see a fabulous tote, I NEED it. Desperately.

I had a severe dilemma trying to figure out which bag to take. I ended up going with my summer utility bag, because it fits everything (and what a bargain - $3.74 at Target on clearance!).

And now, must get ready for bed. Or at least get in bed and read until I fall asleep.

Ciao!

Like A Fucking Leper

So I've spent all summer applying for jobs, begging old bosses to hire me (who couldn't afford to, because their business has been so slow), ending up with no job and mounting debts and feeling completely useless and despised and getting that sick feeling in my stomach about how we're going to end up living in a van down by the river (and not in a funny Chris Farley way, and not even in a Jewel-type way, more like a scary way - which, yeah, COULD be a Jewel-type way, but you know what I mean) and today, TODAY, I get 2 phone calls for interviews.

Except one won't work, because the only times they need me to work (teaching an intro to composition class) is during the day, when I'm in school or at my internship.

So I'm banking on the other one, hoping I'll get some part time work.

And also kind of hoping that someone teaching night courses can't do it. Not that I wish ill on anyone. No. Not at all. Hear that, Karma?