Friday, July 15, 2011

Week in Review - Are you kidding me? edition

People kill me.  The dumb things they do, the dumb things they think they'll get away with.  It just makes me wonder if some people are born without a moral compass or if they just kill that part of themselves with Seconal and whiskey [is that too Valley of the Dolls?].  Here's what's been going on this week:

Oh, the humanity.  Republican idiots & presidential hopefuls Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum [eeeewww] signed a pledge re: the importance of keeping marriage between a man and woman [because otherwise it's ANARCHY!] which also included the phrase
Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA's first African-American President.
Which, I don't even know what to say. Except maybe that these two doofuses are comedy gold?  What the hell? They both tried to distance themselves from the passage once it was brought to light, and the group removed it from the pledge, but at a guess? I think they all still believe that.  Assholes.

Rupert Murdoch [remember him?] is going to go before Parliament to answer questions about his really ridiculous, completely disgusting, horrifically amoral and patently illegal news gathering practices. How I WISH it was George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic asking him questions.
I would pay cash money to see P-Funk and Rupert Murdoch face off - would they take him on the Mothership? Source.
In Afghanistan [remember that place?], a suicide bomber, who hid his explosives in his turban, killed himself and three people and injured others at a service for Afghan President Hamid Karzai's brother, Ahmad Wali Karzai, who was killed last week in a suicide bombing.  I don't pretend to have any answers, here.  I'm not even sure what the question is.  So much anger and hatred and despair.

There's been a massive drought in the US, one which could rival the Dust Bowl.  Every county in Texas has been designated a natural disaster area by the Department of Agriculture [I believe right thinking people have already designated Texas a compassion and liberal disaster area for years.  Too bitchy?  I'll exempt Austin, then.]. So . . . famine, that's one of the plagues, right? Or a sign of the apocalypse?  When did the Mayans say things were going to come to an end?  I'm not paying any more credit card or student loan debts. They can chase after me in hell.  Where I believe they have express tickets, so they don't have to wait in line.

And finally, some movie opened last night.  I haven't seen it yet, but have heard it is the best thus far.  I'm going to a matinee on Saturday morning with a friend, because I am old and my eyes won't stay open past midnight.  I believe they turn into pumpkins.  Anyway, I love the HP books more than the movies, and remember reading them to the girl [skipping over the gory parts] when she was small, and then she grew and learned and began reading for herself.  We would got to the midnight sales to get our books, and go to a town nearby that would turn itself into Hogsmead on the night of the book sales.  Still, I like the movies, and have seen them all in the theater when they've come out.  I'm a bit sad I didn't go last night, especially when I dropped the girl off and saw all the teens dressed up in their Hogwarts finery.  I'm glad I was able to be part of this in some small way, and will be even happier with my giant bucket of popcorn at 9:15 on Saturday morning.

What's going on with you?  Did you stay up too late last night?


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  2. I'd sign-over my 401k to watch a session of Parliament Funkadelic questioning Rick Santorum for an hour.

    And I'm hoping to see the HP movie tonight - like you, I'm a huge fan of the books (eh, on the movies, but you need to watch them because, really, you just need to)

  3. I live in Michele Bachmann's district. What an embarrassment. She's cray cray.

  4. I'm Canadian so please excuse me if I'm misunderstanding things, but did two American presidential hopefuls state that African-American children were better off during slavery than they are today?! And does anyone still give them serious consideration?!

  5. My jaw dropped and hung opened for at least five minutes at the children born in slavery part.

    Wow. Just Wow.

    I stayed up WAY too late on twitter last night, but it was one of best nights of my life.

  6. John - Oh, man, that would be AWESOME. I hope the movie is decent. That should be all.

    Heather - I'm so sorry. She is a nut.

    Kara - Oh, yeah. They did. And yes! They are serious contenders. GOD BLESS AMERICA!

    The Sarcasm Goddess - Right? I couldn't believe it when I read it. And how is this not made more of? I'm jealous you had so much fun on Twitter, but also YAY for Twitter!

  7. I laugh whenever I hear Michele Bachmann's name. In fact as I typed that, just now, I said it out loud and laughed. She's a joke.

    Anyways, I used to get the new HP books at midnight. It was so exciting. I have no idea when I'll be seeing this new movie, especially since I haven't seen the last one yet! Eek. It's not easy for us to get out to a movie...

    Now I'm depressed.

  8. I think Michelle Bachmann should be a character in HP. She nucking futs enough to have been enchanted by some crazy spell and has no clue about reality. Someone send her away, please...

    Oh, and just got back from the movie--had to see it in the a.m. 'cause I'm to damn old to stay up late as well.

    Cheers. VB

  9. Like Sarcasm Goddess, my jaw hit the desk too. Scary. Scary that these people even have any kind of platform to voice these completely asinine thoughts.

    Holy crap.

    Ooo! Don't give away any HP yet!!! We have to wait till NEXT WEEKEND--NOT THIS WEEKEND, NO, NEXT WEEKEND!

  10. I love the HP books. they remind me of all the beautiful old children's classics that I grew up reading, just so rich in imagery and story.

    I was watching Meet The Press on Sunday because I'm a crazy bitch like that and they were questioning Rick Santorum on this pledge crap he signed. Which first of all, let me say that my hope and prayer is that a generation from now, we will look back in this time of history and shake our heads in horror at the ridiculousness of denying civil rights based on sexuality. Ok, let me climb off my soapbox to finish. And the thing that astounded me, besides the fact that anyone would sign such drivel is that the pledge asked for a promise from the signer to stay faithful to their spouse. Wow. Overstepping your privacy boundaries. And these idiots signed it!

  11. sounds like a moratorium on current events might be in order...

  12. The child slave bit blew me away. And Michele Bachmann's husband's clinic to fix gays that gets federal $.

  13. Saw the Harry Potter movie tonight! I cried it was so good!

  14. We took yesterday off and saw it at 9:30 in the morning was fantastic, bring the Kleenex my friend xoxo

  15. --sputtering over 2-parent slave households--

    Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!

    --falls over dead--

  16. you're my favorite. SHH! don't tell the others.

  17. The only good thing I can say about the field of Republican candidates is that they provide a lot of comic relief. When SNL can use your actual words sound like a spoof ... well, that says it all, I guess.

    Oh, and I'm seeing some movie tomorrow. In 3-D. My daughter went to the midnight premiere with her friends and didn't want to drag her old mom along ;)

  18. Honestly, George Clinton would make more sense in the White House at this point. He would happily flirt with interns, inhale, and admit to everything. Then the nation could relax, pull the collective Sarah Palin shaped stick out of their backsides, and get on with life. Should he fire all the bank CEO's ... well, that would be just dandy.
    As for HP; I'm waiting for the crowds to thin, and then my son .. whom I'm totally pimping for tickets because he works at the theater, will get us in to see it for free.
    A-frickin' men sista.
    Those 30 hours of labor are finally paying off.

  19. Same here with the creditors. I'll be laughing all the way to the lake of fire. Thankfully Santorum and Bachmann won't be there. They will be tossing Ronald Reagan's salad up in heaven. But just in case the world doesn't end in 2012 it will be nice to see their hate-filled heads melt a la Raiders of the Lost Ark when Obama wins in a landslide victory, muahahahahaha. Enjoy your tallest dwarf contest, Republicans.

  20. Drought? Oh. Great. I have something in common with Texas.


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.