Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The laws of attraction

Me, focused on the Twitter, absentmindedly asking the husband: Who's that guy that I like that's gay but I don't care because I'd have sex with him anyway?

The husband: Ralph Fiennes?

Me: He's not gay.

The husband: Matthew Broderick?

Me: I'm not attracted to him, but I think there are rumors that he is gay.

The husband:  Paul Rudd?

Me: Definitely not gay.

The husband:  Jason Lee? He's never dated anyone.

Me: Just stop it. Not gay.

The husband:  Vince Vaughn?

Me: Are you kidding me?  Not gay.

The husband:  Matthew Perry. David Beckham. George Michael. Spike. The guy from Castle.

Me:  Not gay.  Not gay.  Gay, but I'm not attracted to him.  Not gay.  Not gay.  Why do you think anyone I find attractive except for you is gay?

The husband:  It's a mystery, really.


  1. Hahahaha! Sounds like a conversation in my home.

  2. AWESOME!!! Now, you have me wondering, who is it???

    It's best that your husband lives in denial.

    You torture us!

    And Jason Lee is married to an evil witch that stole him from me. True story (in my head).

  4. I'm not picky about who I'd sleep with either. The list is pretty long.

  5. My husband couldn't name a celb if his life depended on it. He always gives me clues like, 'You know that guy in that movie with the car chase?" OMFG that's every movie he picks.

  6. Lloyd Dobler? You can't have him. I have dibs if Lance ever gets tired of TV Bombing me. I love ya but you cannot have him. You can have Alexander Skarsgard though. He's not gay.

  7. That's absolutely a transcript of a recent conversation in our car on our last long car trip. Except I tend to use the phrase "Lickable man-candy" a fair bit.

  8. My husband has this almost sick ability to remember any movie or actor by NOT EVEN WATCHING MOVIES. He'll flip around the channels, guy style, watch movies for like TEN minutes, then remember everything about them. I can watch Titanic 10 times and still not remember any actors besides Leo and Kate.

  9. Hmmm...Doogie Howser? Danny from 30 Rock? It's not Lance Bass is it? IS IT?!?!?

  10. Are you EVER going to tell us??? LOL.

    I'm thinking Neil Patrick Harris??? Am I right? Cause I would try to "change his mind" and I like George Michael too...hee hee.

    Did you know I have 7 exes that have come out since we dated??? It's obvious I have a thing for gay men....before they know they are ;)

    Loved this, I could hear this conversation...and so I giggled.

  11. I love this - sounds like a conversation we'd have, only I don't dare tell Rob who I have on my list because he'd lord it over me forever. I once made the mistake of telling him I had a thing for Chris Meloni from L&O:SVU and he teased me for like a year, which clearly meant that he felt jealous. I won't make that mistake again. It's aggravating.

  12. This absolutely made me laugh out loud.

    My money is on Will Arnett.

  13. As long as it's not Harvey Fierstein we're good.
    I mean, Harvey's awesome.

    Just not to sleep with.

  14. Alan Rickman?

    And if now, why not? He's my man crush. And yes, I said Professor Snape. SO HOT. STOP JUDGING.


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