Me, focused on the Twitter, absentmindedly asking the husband: Who's that guy that I like that's gay but I don't care because I'd have sex with him anyway?
The husband: Ralph Fiennes?
Me: He's not gay.
The husband: Matthew Broderick?
Me: I'm not attracted to him, but I think there are rumors that he is gay.
The husband: Paul Rudd?
Me: Definitely not gay.
The husband: Jason Lee? He's never dated anyone.
Me: Just stop it. Not gay.
The husband: Vince Vaughn?
Me: Are you kidding me? Not gay.
The husband: Matthew Perry. David Beckham. George Michael. Spike. The guy from Castle.
Me: Not gay. Not gay. Gay, but I'm not attracted to him. Not gay. Not gay. Why do you think anyone I find attractive except for you is gay?
The husband: It's a mystery, really.