The husband has taken up tennis in the past couple of years. He is an energetic player, and super competitive, so we tend not to play together. [Also, I am terribly out of shape. And very competitive. It's a recipe for disaster, is what it is.]
So the husband has been playing tennis with various friends and family, but the problem is, he wants to play a couple of times a week, and people are busy. Particularly those of our friends who are parents of kids the girl's age, but who didn't have the foresight to send their child away to boarding school [PS Prom is Saturday! I hope she takes at least one fucking picture!], and who are thus over-extended driving their not-quite-drivers-license ready kids to after school activities.
The other day, I was going to get my hair done after work [it looks amazing, by the way. I got highlights!] so he decided to play with a coworker he doesn't know very well.
Who proceeded to spend the entire time asking the husband if he knew Jesus Christ.
The husband got witnessed to while trying to play a game. By his coworker. Who he had to remain polite to [which, as we later discussed, why don't proselytizers have to be polite? Why do they not take, "I'd like you to stop talking about this" as a friendly warning? Why do they keep pushing and pushing until you have to say, "STOP FUCKING TALKING TO ME?" Huh? Why?] because the husband may be a heathen, but he's not a dick.
The husband said that this guy told him GOD spoke to him and directed him to save the husband. Which is . . . flattering?
I confess, I laughed. Because he continues to mock me about the Jehova's Witnesses who keep dropping their literature in our door on Saturday mornings. [Weird aside, the friends I have who are deeply religious - and I am friends with evangelicals, people; I know that's hard to believe - have NEVER ONCE asked me if I was concerned about going to hell. Is it because they have good manners? Or do they just not give a shit that they won't see me in the after life?]
Also, the level of swearing the husband reaches when discussing his forced witnessing? SUBLIME.
PS I will be at the Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop this weekend. If you're going to be there, come talk to me. I'll even listen to your spiel about Jesus.