The Wheel of Misfortune.

The husband and I were having dinner before getting ready to head out for the evening [I know! We went to a party, like real people do! With fun and drinking and talking and FUN!] and, because he is a man, the husband turned the t.v. on to watch baseball in the few minutes before he was going to change so we could go out [I, of course, looked fabulous, because I always wear cocktail dresses during the day, just in case I get a last minute invite to a party - not that I wait around for last minute invites, because MY TIME IS PRECIOUS and I AM THE BEST EVER and EVERYONE LOVES ME! So disregard any pissy-moany blog posts indicating otherwise], and then, somehow, Wheel of Fortune was on, and we started talking shit like you wouldn't believe about one of the players.

Because she kept buying VOWELS.  EVERY TIME! And not just one vowel, like she was stuck on the phrase and had already bought the T, S and H which are in every puzzle.  No.  She hadn't bought ANY of those, just stone cold decided that VOWELS were what she needed, so the puzzle ended up looking like this:

W _ O    D O E _   T_ I _ ?

Who does this?

THERE IS NEVER ANY REASON TO BUY A VOWEL. Can't you sound shit out? What the hell? I get that you may be stressed out, what with being on the tv, but COME ON. ALL THE VOWELS? WHY?

The husband left the room to get ready and I actually called him back in to witness her buying MORE VOWELS. At which point we actively started rooting for her to hit the Bankrupt spot. I'm sort of ashamed to say that our collective juju allowed her to hit the MILLION DOLLAR spot, and then, because she kept buying vowels on her subsequent turn, she hit Bankrupt.

With great power comes great responsibility.

So don't buy vowels.  It's better for everyone.