Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Wheel of Misfortune.

The husband and I were having dinner before getting ready to head out for the evening [I know! We went to a party, like real people do! With fun and drinking and talking and FUN!] and, because he is a man, the husband turned the t.v. on to watch baseball in the few minutes before he was going to change so we could go out [I, of course, looked fabulous, because I always wear cocktail dresses during the day, just in case I get a last minute invite to a party - not that I wait around for last minute invites, because MY TIME IS PRECIOUS and I AM THE BEST EVER and EVERYONE LOVES ME! So disregard any pissy-moany blog posts indicating otherwise], and then, somehow, Wheel of Fortune was on, and we started talking shit like you wouldn't believe about one of the players.

Because she kept buying VOWELS.  EVERY TIME! And not just one vowel, like she was stuck on the phrase and had already bought the T, S and H which are in every puzzle.  No.  She hadn't bought ANY of those, just stone cold decided that VOWELS were what she needed, so the puzzle ended up looking like this:

W _ O    D O E _   T_ I _ ?

Who does this?

THERE IS NEVER ANY REASON TO BUY A VOWEL. Can't you sound shit out? What the hell? I get that you may be stressed out, what with being on the tv, but COME ON. ALL THE VOWELS? WHY?

The husband left the room to get ready and I actually called him back in to witness her buying MORE VOWELS. At which point we actively started rooting for her to hit the Bankrupt spot. I'm sort of ashamed to say that our collective juju allowed her to hit the MILLION DOLLAR spot, and then, because she kept buying vowels on her subsequent turn, she hit Bankrupt.

With great power comes great responsibility.

So don't buy vowels.  It's better for everyone.


  1. WH-T -N -D--T!! -V-RY-N- KN-WS V-W-LS -RE -S-L-SS!!

  2. Y_ _
    r_ _ d_rs
    y_ _r
    pr_s_nc_ .....

    1. This one took me awhikle, but i felt really proud when I got it.

  3. is vanna still flipping the tiles?

  4. She fk'd it up even after the million dollar spot?! Serves her right.

  5. There is never any reason to buy a vowel. Spoken like real Vanna addicts. SOUND THAT SHIT OUT.

  6. Is Vanna still doable? For some reason I remember something about her and Pat in a threesome with one of the voice actors from the old X-Men cartoon.

  7. Dude.
    How do you make Wheel of Fortune so f'ing funny?


    My brain is crying tears of joy.
    That's some magic, right there.

    p.s. Let's promise to never Skype in cocktail dresses, okay?

  8. Boy, when I was a kid I could solve me some wheel of fortune. Some of the people on that show are idiots. I'll bet Pat and Vanna are looking old, or at least should be looking old.

  9. Yes! Someone else who is annoyed with this. I used to love watching Wheel of Fortune (does that make me a loser? I'll just answer that myself - yes). I always wondered "don't people know the object of this game is to WIN money???"

  10. _ | L_RV_ | _W_.... that is all!

  11. Hi! This is hilarious! You know, my thinking skills go into a coma when I hear pat's voice couple with the viewing of his hair. So I don't even know the rules of the game. I also don't have a tv.......

  12. On this whole topic, I randomly watched Wheel of Fortune the other day, and I see that there letters are no longer tiles but, it appears, mini-LCD screens, but not touch screens. Is Vanna really needed?

    And Pat Sajak has always seemed smarmy to me.

  13. I love how the comments on this post, when viewed at a glance, appear to be an elaborate game of hang man.

  14. Hahaha very entertaining! =)

  15. Vowels are for pussies.

    She deserved to hit bankrupt, she had it C_M_NG!

  16. this is probably exactly why sajak used to do the show drunk. i would too if i had a perpetual front seat at the showcase for the idiocy of the world.
    that said, i am quite good at WOF.


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