Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Three blondes walk into a blog post

I have to admit, I harbor an affection for trashy blond pop stars.

I'm not sure what that says about me - I am not blond [any more], nor am I a pop star, and my trashy days are behind me [Man, I miss being drunk and slutty. How is this not acceptable at work? WTF? SOCIALISM! IT'S A PLOT TO KEEP THE WORKING WOMAN DOWN!], so it's not as if I identify with them.

Except for the fact that I've made ridiculous choices and horrific errors in judgment. Who hasn't? [If you haven't, I don't think we can be friends. What are we going to talk about when you come over for dinner? How awesome you were at your yearly mammogram? BORING.  I need dirt on your youthful misdeeds or at least I need you to tell me about how you kept trying to make jokes with the technician, telling her that your husband/significant other doesn't play with your boobs this good, until she leaves and makes someone else come in for the rest of the exam.] [My mammogram is coming up next week. I'll be sure to keep you posted!]

Anyway, I find Ke$ha, Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears all quite charming.  Sure, they may not make the best choices, but they seem good-hearted.   They aren't malicious, nor are they industrial polluters, and they didn't break the economy, so I think the fact that one of them has a vag that makes grown men unable to win sporting events is really not that big a deal.  Actually, it is a big deal, because I find that AWESOME.

Ke$ha reminds me of me when I would go out drinking and dancing.  We actually share a similar sense of style.

Britney seems like the slightly goofy younger friend that you have to keep an eye one, or she'll give your cab money to the first semi-homeless guy who asks.

And Jessica Simpson designs surprisingly cute shoes.  The girl and I are CONSTANTLY surprised.  We'll see a pair of shoes, go, "Wow, these are cute!" and then TA DA - Jessica Simpson.

So, there it is.  I love trashy blond pop stars.  Judge me if you must, but remember this:

Yeah. I've got nothing.

Now give - who is your shameful crush?


  1. I'll be at BlogHer, too. Looking forward to meeting you!

    I'll be the one wearing the blog wig and singing.

  2. You know what, her shoes are damn cute! I can't think of any crush I have that I maybe shouldn't have, that the person is slightly unworthy of or others look down on because of her propensity for stupidity. But. I like to look at Paula Patton.

  3. I am not ashamed of this (perhaps I should be) but I am positively OBSESSED with Emma Stone.

  4. I have no shame! But I do have crushes.

    I would LOVE to see a photo of you blonde.

    My boobs hurt like hell when I get a mamogram. Does laughing help with the pain?

  5. They're all hot, but I still hate them.

    I always loved Sarah Michelle Gellar, but I don't think she falls under this category.

  6. I get a quiver from Eminem. There, I said it. Ahhhh...that felt good, actually! Did you also know that, until VERY recently, I thought his name was M&M? What? TMI? (sorry 'bout that)

  7. I remember talking to a family practice doctor - how, every now & then, he needs to remind himself that he's a doctor, because boobs sure are fun. But doctors aren't allowed to have fun with them.

    Or some bullshit like that.

    And, yeah, I tend to never get along with anyone who can't share some truly embarrassing stories from their youth.

    About embarrassing crushes? Do they have to be blond? Because, while I'm straight, I think dirty thoughts about Rob Lowe & Neil Patrick Harris.

  8. I love Beyonce and Alicia Keys. I'm not sure that's bad though. I have a maternal thing going on with Taylor Swift. I want to hug her and give her a hamburger.

  9. I kinda feel sorry for you.

    You don't know, do you?

    Her bags. Jessica Simpson has the most ass kickin' bags.

    They're all on Zappos.

    You poor thing. I had no idea.


    1. Hahaha. That was fabulous.

      Also? Shame on you, Sun... except for that I love P!nk. What is it with pop stars that can't write their names with normal letters?

  10. Don't let my daughter hear this but I think, Joe Jonas is a cutie!!! :) Don't really care one way or the other about the pop tarts but sure love bopping about to their songs.

  11. I love Jessica Simpson shoes and bags, but hell if I'll ever be seen with one. It's SUCH a shame. I seemed to have accidentally developed a an obsession with Josh Hutcherson. Only he's sooo short.

  12. At least Kesha, Jessica and Britney have DONE SOMETHING...

    Please tell me what on earth the Kardashians have done? Go ahead. one thing.

    All of them combined. And a TV show about them doing nothing doesn't count.

    I'm waiting people.

    p.s. I find Jennifer Lopez to be kind of adorable. There. I admitted it.

  13. keanu reeves. i've been 5 feet away from him on two separate occasions and still haven't had the guts to go up and say "hi".

    also, britney is a sad victim of MK Ultra mind control. watch just one of her videos...

  14. Yes, just YES: Simpson designs surprisingly cute shoes. The girl and I are CONSTANTLY surprised. We'll see a pair of shoes, go, "Wow, these are cute!" and then TA DA - Jessica Simpson.

  15. I like Ke$ha and Jessica Simpson. can't stand Britney.

    I have a serious Cougar crush on Zac Efron. And, I like the song, "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen.

    Will you still play WWF with me?


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.