Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Three blondes walk into a blog post

I have to admit, I harbor an affection for trashy blond pop stars.

I'm not sure what that says about me - I am not blond [any more], nor am I a pop star, and my trashy days are behind me [Man, I miss being drunk and slutty. How is this not acceptable at work? WTF? SOCIALISM! IT'S A PLOT TO KEEP THE WORKING WOMAN DOWN!], so it's not as if I identify with them.

Except for the fact that I've made ridiculous choices and horrific errors in judgment. Who hasn't? [If you haven't, I don't think we can be friends. What are we going to talk about when you come over for dinner? How awesome you were at your yearly mammogram? BORING.  I need dirt on your youthful misdeeds or at least I need you to tell me about how you kept trying to make jokes with the technician, telling her that your husband/significant other doesn't play with your boobs this good, until she leaves and makes someone else come in for the rest of the exam.] [My mammogram is coming up next week. I'll be sure to keep you posted!]

Anyway, I find Ke$ha, Jessica Simpson and Britney Spears all quite charming.  Sure, they may not make the best choices, but they seem good-hearted.   They aren't malicious, nor are they industrial polluters, and they didn't break the economy, so I think the fact that one of them has a vag that makes grown men unable to win sporting events is really not that big a deal.  Actually, it is a big deal, because I find that AWESOME.

Ke$ha reminds me of me when I would go out drinking and dancing.  We actually share a similar sense of style.

Britney seems like the slightly goofy younger friend that you have to keep an eye one, or she'll give your cab money to the first semi-homeless guy who asks.

And Jessica Simpson designs surprisingly cute shoes.  The girl and I are CONSTANTLY surprised.  We'll see a pair of shoes, go, "Wow, these are cute!" and then TA DA - Jessica Simpson.

So, there it is.  I love trashy blond pop stars.  Judge me if you must, but remember this:

Yeah. I've got nothing.

Now give - who is your shameful crush?

17 comments:

  1. I'll be at BlogHer, too. Looking forward to meeting you!

    I'll be the one wearing the blog wig and singing.

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  2. You know what, her shoes are damn cute! I can't think of any crush I have that I maybe shouldn't have, that the person is slightly unworthy of or others look down on because of her propensity for stupidity. But. I like to look at Paula Patton.

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  3. I am not ashamed of this (perhaps I should be) but I am positively OBSESSED with Emma Stone.

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  4. I have no shame! But I do have crushes.

    I would LOVE to see a photo of you blonde.

    My boobs hurt like hell when I get a mamogram. Does laughing help with the pain?

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  5. They're all hot, but I still hate them.

    I always loved Sarah Michelle Gellar, but I don't think she falls under this category.

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  6. I get a quiver from Eminem. There, I said it. Ahhhh...that felt good, actually! Did you also know that, until VERY recently, I thought his name was M&M? What? TMI? (sorry 'bout that)

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  7. I remember talking to a family practice doctor - how, every now & then, he needs to remind himself that he's a doctor, because boobs sure are fun. But doctors aren't allowed to have fun with them.

    Or some bullshit like that.

    And, yeah, I tend to never get along with anyone who can't share some truly embarrassing stories from their youth.

    About embarrassing crushes? Do they have to be blond? Because, while I'm straight, I think dirty thoughts about Rob Lowe & Neil Patrick Harris.

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  8. I love Beyonce and Alicia Keys. I'm not sure that's bad though. I have a maternal thing going on with Taylor Swift. I want to hug her and give her a hamburger.

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  9. I kinda feel sorry for you.

    You don't know, do you?

    Her bags. Jessica Simpson has the most ass kickin' bags.

    They're all on Zappos.

    You poor thing. I had no idea.

    xo

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha. That was fabulous.

      Also? Shame on you, Sun... except for that I love P!nk. What is it with pop stars that can't write their names with normal letters?

      Delete
  10. Don't let my daughter hear this but I think, Joe Jonas is a cutie!!! :) Don't really care one way or the other about the pop tarts but sure love bopping about to their songs.

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  11. I love Jessica Simpson shoes and bags, but hell if I'll ever be seen with one. It's SUCH a shame. I seemed to have accidentally developed a an obsession with Josh Hutcherson. Only he's sooo short.

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  12. At least Kesha, Jessica and Britney have DONE SOMETHING...

    Please tell me what on earth the Kardashians have done? Go ahead. one thing.

    All of them combined. And a TV show about them doing nothing doesn't count.

    I'm waiting people.

    p.s. I find Jennifer Lopez to be kind of adorable. There. I admitted it.

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  13. keanu reeves. i've been 5 feet away from him on two separate occasions and still haven't had the guts to go up and say "hi".

    also, britney is a sad victim of MK Ultra mind control. watch just one of her videos...

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  14. Yes, just YES: Simpson designs surprisingly cute shoes. The girl and I are CONSTANTLY surprised. We'll see a pair of shoes, go, "Wow, these are cute!" and then TA DA - Jessica Simpson.

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  15. I like Ke$ha and Jessica Simpson. can't stand Britney.

    I have a serious Cougar crush on Zac Efron. And, I like the song, "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen.

    Will you still play WWF with me?

    ReplyDelete

Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.