Birthday, bitches.

It's my birthday.

I may have mentioned that it was coming up - just to give you fair warning about gifts.  If you missed it, I'll take a late gift, but you should really do a better job of staying on top of this. I mean, can't you add this VERY IMPORTANT DATE to your calendar along with a reminder?  Is it really that hard?

I'm 44 today.

I'm pretty o.k. about aging and getting older. Part if it is that I look pretty young [thank you, Aveda hair colorist] and part of it is that I never really think I'm any particular age. For instance, it's always a jolt to me that I'm so old that you have to have been born the year I graduated from undergrad in order to buy booze. I still assume I'm going to get carded.

For me, the best part of getting older is that within the last couple of years I've really started to shed those parts of my life and personality that I didn't care for - the appeasing, the waffling because of that goddamn perfectionism, the need to always be right. Well, I'm still working on that last one, and on some more things, but that's been a big change, too. The realization that there's no finish line. It just keeps going.

Which is weird, because I've always felt that I was in a race, and was always falling behind. Always. Everything is was is was a competition with me. Now I've stopped feeling like I'm a complete and utter failure because someone else's house is cleaner than mine or because someone else's hair looks nicer. Actually. That's a lie. No one else's hair looks nicer.

But you get what I mean, right? I'm done racing and losing at some contest that is all in my mind. I've found that people like me despite the fact that I'm not perfect. I KNOW. Who would have thought?  But it's been a nice switch from feeling like I was worthless unless and until I put a perfect facade on my life.

Hmm . . . this is getting too melancholy.  Let's end this birthday rumination with the following list of awesome things about me and you.  Add on in the comments something wonderful about me AND something wonderful about you.  And then lets all go get loaded and do something we're going to regret.

XO

Suniverse


Awesome birthday list:
My hair is fantastic.
Your hair smells divine.
I'm pretty fucking hilarious.
You are a joy to be around.
My skin looks amazing.
You look well rested.
I know how to host a party for 50 people.
You know how to have a good time.
I have some amazing people in my life.
You are one of them.
I can't stop laughing when I think about the fact that I am 44.  That's grown up age.
You make me giggle.
I love that I can push myself even through my fears and succeed.
You can do anything you can put your mind to.
I haven't used a curse word yet, so fucking let's do that shit now.
You fucking rock.

Now you: