Saturday, September 29, 2012

And the winners are . . .

You guys.  Seriously.

I cannot even explain to you how hilarious and awe-inspiring the entries for the Craft Whores contest were.  I mean, go take a look.

The lovely judges were judg-y and came back with their choices.  Thanks so much to Jen and Kathy and Robin for helping us out. You made the judging process so much more fun (and legitimate). Price Waterhouse has nothing on you bitches. We also want to take the time to thank our generous sponsors for their prizes and willingness to support such an "unorthodox" venture. Each click on the sponsors below is a vote for the awesomeness of inappropriate humor. (Listen up, big brands.)
We Shop FunnynotSlutty

The simply delightful Leslie from The Bearded Iris and I compiled the judges' votes and tabulated and came up with the



Without further ado:

Best in Ho:

The Vagina Muses by Leigh Jackson / SassQueen Ceramics

They're so delicate and dirty!
Leigh wins the $100 WeShop gift certificate from In the Powder Room and my Craft Whores Cross Stitch.  Leigh, you make my vagina sing.

Most Original:

Sex Ed Lamps by Marsha
I know what I want for a housewarming gift.
Marsha wins the $50 Eden Fantasys gift certificate and Carrie from UKnit2's Vuvla Tissue box.  Marsha, I want to hang out with you.

Most Anatomically Correct: 

Brazilian Kitchen Twine Dispenser by Ellen @ Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Imagine all the vagina twine, living life in peace.
Ellen wins the $50 craft basket from Funny not Slutty and a Queen Bee-otch painting from Cool Bees Artwork.  Ellen, let's start cooking, baby. [Photos of these prizes, since we didn't have them when we posted the prizes initially. Because we're that kind of efficient.]

Get crafting thanks to Funny not Slutty.
This lets them know who's boss.

Most Jizztastic:

Fifty Shades of Grey Ice Cream by Tracy @ LogyExpress

For real people. I can't stop looking at this.

Tracy wins the $25 Subversive Cross Stitch gift certificate and the Robin Plemmons Viva La Deez Nuts painting.  Tracy, girl, we have GOT to have some ice cream.

Honorable Mentions:

Funniest Post: 
Robyn @ Hollow Tree Ventures wins the Hillblingy Goblet for her "Places We Did It" Scrapbook. LOVE THIS.

Most Practical in the Event of a Blizzard or if You are One of the Red Hot Chili Peppers:
Dearest Debi wins the Vulva Candle Holder for The Average Joe Willy Warmer. It's like a matched set!

Honorable Mention:
Kelly and Nique win the Breath Mother Fucker magnet for their Whip Me / Beat Me / Eat Me Aprons. Dinner time just got a little more exciting.

Honorable Mention:
Lady Estrogen wins a Breath Mother Fucker magnet for her Vuvla Candle Holder. You know how to shine a light where it's needed.

Honorable Mention:
Sue @ Wub Boo Mummy wins a Breath Mother Fucker magnet for her Leather Vulva Gear Knob Cover. I think even James Bond is jealous of the extras in your brother-in-law's car.

Leslie and I will be contacting the winners to get your information to send out prizes. YOU LUCKY BASTARDS.

Thanks to everyone who entered. Without your insanely creative minds, I wouldn't be having these inappropriate thoughts.

I cannot thank you enough for that.

Craft Whores Badass Mofo Badge
Now go get your own awesome badge here.



  1. Ahhhh so awesomely filthy! Nice contest, lady.

    1. Thanks, Gia. And thanks for your excellent drawing. I couldn't have done it without you.

  2. Congratulations everyone! And Thank You Leslie and Suniverse. Y'all are indeed fucking awesome.

    1. Thanks, Princess! You're pretty fucking awesome, too.


  3. You MUST offer this again. I'm feeling very coffee-cozy-vagina-y. And, I have some yarn, glue, and scraps of paper.

  4. You and the bearded one pulled off a nice one, Suni.

    No one I know has ever done this before: you created something new here.

    And the entries are AWESOME.

    Congrats to the winners, and to those who put their dirty thinking like Carrie's mama caps on.

    xo (Is there a creepier line in ANY movie?? "and AH liked it, with all that dirty touchin'..)

  5. This contest was the most fun I've had with my clothes on. A HUGE thank you to you and The Bearded Iris for coming up with it.

    I'm so proud to be honorably mentioned amongst such prestigious Craft Whores.

  6. Wow.........that ice cream is something else!!

  7. Amazing, dirty talents, put a smile on my face!


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.