Wednesday, September 26, 2012

No. Seriously. WTF?

Did you ever feel like you're being punked? Is that even still a thing? Or maybe like you're on Candid Camera, because it's all just major brands of nuttiness?

Me neither.

Except I do lately.

Here's an update:

** I think I have narcolepsy. Or maybe mono. I've been exhausted for the past two weeks. Yawning all the time. My whole body is wiped out. Which one of you has been Frenching me without my knowledge?

** The Bearded Iris & I will be announcing the winners of Craft Whores on Saturday. We know we said today, but due to unforeseen circumstances, we're still tallying votes.

** I got the most crazy ass racist robocall from a white supremacist environmentalist running for Congress. I'm not erasing the message because I am pretty sure it's evidence of a hate crime.

** I read an article in Forbes about Millennials & cars & how they refuse to get their licenses unless they get the car if their dreams. AND THE PARENTS BUY THEM. I'm still trying not to beat the shit out of every Millennial I run across. I'm not sure who they are. But I want no part of them.

** I am so tired & wiped out I typed this on my phone because I was too tired to turn on my computer.

I miss you all so much. Except for the French- kissing mono spreader.

Eh. I even miss you.

PS Posts coming up about: My maybe getting my water aerobics instructor fired; the jackass at the Smithsonian; a book that enraged me. INTRIGUED?


  1. "White supremist environmentalist"?? Huh. I didn't know those existed!

  2. Millennials suck. And the thing is, they don't even care they suck. It's like, it's their thing, to suck. They put on zombie make up and go on zombie runs across town, and they're too cool to smoke cigarettes, and they vote for Ron Paul.

  3. My kid will get the car we give him, when my hubs gets the truck he wants. IF the car is still alive, and IF the kids has survived my wrath.

    And, he's gonna be happy about it, and happy to cart his sister around.

    Missed ya, btw. Write more!

  4. Pregnant? That's what's making me tired these days.

  5. I'm wiped out too, but that's because I stayed up til three in the morning.

  6. Me too - mine is because I'm anemic. I take iron pills but I still don't notice a difference - maybe it's just because I'm lazy.

    And darling, I am always intrigued by you...

  7. BREATHLESS with anticipation! Hurry back, you are missed!


  8. I went through a period a few years ago where I couldn't get enough sleep. I was convinced I had mono. I just slept through it. That's how I handle most of my medical concerns.

    I loved your message last night. I had a car full of kids at the time so I thought it best not to pick up. But I was tempted ;)

    I also think I might have been one of the first millennials ever. My husband and kids saved me in the end.

  9. I'm sorry I French-kissed you. You're just so pretty!

  10. I heard that there's this prescription drug you can go on if you are tired all the time. It's supposed to be kick-ass and you get a bunch of shit done while you are on it.

    If I wasn't suffering from constant memory loss, I would tell you the name of it. Then you could go to your doctor, tell him all your symptoms, he would decide to rx it to you, you would take it, you would TOTS kick ass, and then you would love me even more than you do now.

    BTW, I should be writing, but it has been slow going. I needed a break. And you won out over Tetris. That says alot.

  11. How can we get France to remember the name of the drug.

    France's drug all around!!!

  12. I've just been diagnosed with chronic severe sleep apnea due to malformed airways. I literally haven't had a good night's sleep in, like, thirty fucking years. And now, in order to get better, I have to look like an alien and sound like Darth Vader when I sleep. Good times. I think I'll throat-punch a millennial to celebrate.

  13. My kid will get the car of his dreams when he buys it himself.

    I'm going to start listening to my robo messages now. Play yours for the police. Let us know what they say.

  14. sometimes i'm so tired, i'd rather be sent to prison than figure shit out.

  15. Did you catch this piece on millenials and cars in the Metro Times?


Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.