Last night, I couldn't sleep.
Not complete insomnia, but that awful sleep for an hour, wake up, finally fall back to sleep, sleep for a half-hour, wake up . . . all night long.
It happens every so often - often enough that I can pretty much deal the next day, although I'm a little loopy.
It's still a problem, though.
But the problem isn't the next day.
It's that night.
Not just the frustration and aggravation of being unable to sleep; not just the tossing and turning and wanting to smother the person sleeping peacefully next to.
It's also the fear.
What fear? Well, as we all know, I'm a delightful bundle of anxiety and neuroses, and when I get really tired? I start going off the rails.
I start getting scared.
There are all kinds of monster opportunities in the dark on a sleepless night.
I won't look in the mirror until I've turned on the light, because I KNOW that something [Bloody Mary, maybe] is waiting to look right back at me. [I also tend not to look in the mirror much even when the light is on, because you never know what's waiting around in the night to pounce.]
As much as I would like to [and the pull is strong], I won't look out the window in the middle of the night. Because I KNOW that there will either be a monster or a masked killer standing there, waiting for me.
I have to get IN the bed before I turn off the bedside lamp, because otherwise my feet are available for monster munching.
Much as it tempts me, I won't pull back the shower curtain, because I know someone/thing is hiding there, waiting for a chance to lunge at me while I'm sitting on the toilet, peeing and pretending everything is fine by flipping through the latest Talbot's catalog.
I veer between wanting the cats to be awake, because then if they're acting normal, everything is o.k., to NOT wanting them to be awake, because they may be possessed by who knows what and, again, attack me while I'm sitting on the toilet, peeing and pretending everything is fine by flipping through the latest Talbot's catalog.
So, in conclusion, I'm excited about everyone who wants to be part of my cul de sac crew, but I'm warning you, sleepovers are going to be a little weird.