Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Television has all the answers.

I've been kind of down lately. I'm not sure why - Still Stuck in Winter Blues? Free-floating Angst? Traveler's Diarrhea? Who's to say?

It's not that I've been avoiding people or things or even been mired in misery all the live long day. It's been more of a get through my day and then get home and be ANGRY kind of thing.  Like, "Oh, great, now I'm home and what? Still crap to do and none of it is fun and my life! My misery!  It's never going to get any better! It's all so terrible and NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME." A sort of pre-teen/teenage melodramatic existential despair.  Which is insufferable during the awkward teenage years, and severely punchable in your 40s.

I mean, nothing is overly awful. I do still have my anxiety and my panic, but for the most part, things are o.k.  Could be better, but they've been worse. And I'm trying to focus on the positive, so I look at the good things, and don't compare myself to others and write my little gratitude journally things at night [would it surprise you to know I have a subscription to Real Simple magazine? I'm sure it would not. My saving grace is that I also have a subscription to Bitch magazine. Because I am a badass.]

My kick ass Alessi Blow Up magazine rack. LOVE THIS. Also pictured: Costco frames that I still haven't put photos in.
So I've been trying to wait this out, and doing yoga every morning, and exercising a couple of times a week and am thinking about hitting the therapist again [a mental cleanse, if you will], when, thanks to the aid of the husband, I realized what I'm so blergh about.

We were watching Season 2 of Cougar Town [BECAUSE I NOW HAVE THE FIRST THREE SEASONS ON DVD! HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TO ME!] and I said how I want to be Ellie, and the husband said, “You ARE Ellie.  What you’re looking for is your Jules.”

And he was right! I am looking for my Jules.  So if you are a pretty, sweet, booze-loving, maybe not so bright, sometimes mean but generally goodhearted person, you could be her. You don’t have to be female, and you don’t even have to drink, but you do have to enjoy me being mean about stuff. 

Line forms to the left, bitches.


  1. I could not agree more. TV knows all. I would totally be your Jules! But I cant drink right now due to growing a human. That said, I have the mean thing down. I'm totally an asshole. It's kinda my thing.

  2. Ooh! Pick me! Pick me! I don't drink except maybe once a year, but that just means I can drive you if you suddenly decide you want to go sit in a cafe and watch bitchy women go by that we can make fun of while discussing how NO ONE UNDERSTANDS HOW FABULOUS WE ARE. Then we can go do yoga.

  3. well since ABBY asked first...
    but I could be an alternate, could STAND IN and let my inner bitch out once in a while for you, cause she's in there..BORED to death. ;)

    I'd totally BE MEAN for you.

  4. My mama always said I could be pretty if I wanted to. I got all the rest nailed.

  5. So, we can't both be Ellie? Is that what you're saying? Because I don't like this game at all. Although I am generally goodhearted. Shoot, I'm still gonna get in line, especially if you are serving soup.

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