I've been plagued with insomnia for the past couple of weeks. I'm used to my usual multiple wake-ups during the night, where I go to the bathroom and read myself back to sleep pretty quickly. This has been different. I've been getting up in the middle of the night and have been unable to get back to sleep. And then I get up at about 5:00am and lay in bed until about 7:00am, trying to doze off, and being unable to, my mind wandering from fretting about life in general to constructing elaborate, OCD-meticulous plans for my future.
I'm writing this at 2:26 on a Sunday morning. I have fond
memories of this time. I used to just be heading home from a night of
dancing and drinking, sweat keeping my coat open so that the cold wind
would cool me off. I miss those days.
I also miss being able to fall back to sleep. I loathe that horrifying moment when I realize, yup. This is it. You're awake and staying that way. I start to panic about becoming sleep deprived and hallucinatory and then I wonder if maybe I should just embrace being awake and start getting stuff done.
So that's what I'm doing now. Getting those things done that I want to do but never seem to have time for during the course of my regular day. Writing or doing laundry or sorting through the pile of receipts on my desk.
Next up is practicing the dance-off from House Party. Who wants to be my partner?