I've been plagued with insomnia for the past couple of weeks. I'm used to my usual multiple wake-ups during the night, where I go to the bathroom and read myself back to sleep pretty quickly. This has been different. I've been getting up in the middle of the night and have been unable to get back to sleep. And then I get up at about 5:00am and lay in bed until about 7:00am, trying to doze off, and being unable to, my mind wandering from fretting about life in general to constructing elaborate, OCD-meticulous plans for my future.
I'm writing this at 2:26 on a Sunday morning. I have fond
memories of this time. I used to just be heading home from a night of
dancing and drinking, sweat keeping my coat open so that the cold wind
would cool me off. I miss those days.
I also miss being able to fall back to sleep. I loathe that horrifying moment when I realize, yup. This is it. You're awake and staying that way. I start to panic about becoming sleep deprived and hallucinatory and then I wonder if maybe I should just embrace being awake and start getting stuff done.
So that's what I'm doing now. Getting those things done that I want to do but never seem to have time for during the course of my regular day. Writing or doing laundry or sorting through the pile of receipts on my desk.
Next up is practicing the dance-off from House Party. Who wants to be my partner?
I should send you my number ~ the same thing is happening to me. We could at least have a nice chat.
ReplyDeleteThe midnight conversations with myself are driving me crazy. Too. Much. Stress. I feel your pain, honey.
ReplyDeleteK. Here's what you do:
ReplyDeleteImagine yourself at the top of a beautiful wide staircase with a graceful curve. You cannot see the bottom, but that is not worrying, because it's beyond the curve.
With your hand gently touching the cool marble bannister, you take a step down - saying to yourself, "Ten Thousand".
You take the next step, saying to yourself, sllllooooowwwwly, "Nine thousand, nine hundred, ninety, nine."
You continue to take steps downward counting backwards slowly.
This works because you are giving your fizzy brain something to do. If it doesn't quiet the fizziness, try counting backwards by threes instead.
Counting backwards has been shown to release tension (counting up increases tension). 10,000 is a number so big there's no risk you'll get to the end of it. The stairs helps you visualize your descent into sleep.