Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Last night I dreamt of David Franco*

I seldom dream about my crushes, but last night, I dreamt of David Franco.

No, not his brother James Franco - which, dude, COME ON, you are killing me with your gross pervy-ness - but David Franco. This guy:

Yeah. *Especially* the smirk. From here.

I will watch this guy in anything - I watched the NINTH season of Scrubs partly mostly due to him being in it. During my movie-watching extravaganza, I saw a preview for what looks to be a truly terrible movie with Zac Efron and that guy I hate and David Franco. I texted my cousin, who has a no-shame crush on Zac Efron, and we are planning on seeing that movie the day it comes out.

But back to my dream. I dreamt that David Franco had a big ole crush on me, which was awesome. Even in the dream, I recognized that the man is markedly younger than I, but I didn't seem to care. And neither did he. I also may have still been married in my dream, but that didn't really factor in, either, because evidently I'm complete amoral or he is a freebie. Either way, I win.

Do you know - do you remember - that swoopy feeling you'd get when you saw your crush? It's hard to keep that feeling going when you're in a relationship. It happens every once in a while, but it's not like seeing that person at their locker and getting giddy because WOW THERE HE IS! It's nice to have that feeling, even if it's in a dream. Especially when you wake up abruptly from that dream because you are old and have to pee and your husband has burrito rolled himself into the blankets and you can hear your cats yowling about breakfast even though it is 5:goddamn30 in the morning.

I also may or may not have seen David Franco's dream wiener.** STOP JUDGING ME.

* Bonus points if you recognized this as the first line from Daphne DuMaurier's Rebecca. Haven't read it? Read it. It's great. Or even watch the movie. Also very, very good.

** I totally saw it. It was . . . hilarious. Because come on, wieners are hilarious.


  1. I didn't know James Franco had a handsome brother. Thanks for sharing him!

  2. DREAM WEINER! I'm going to be singing that all day now. To the tune of Dream Weaver.

    Why do the Franco boys look perpetually stoned? And is that part of the attraction?

    1. That is EXACTLY how I've been singing it. Great minds, right?

      I'm not attracted to the perpetually stoned thing. It's more the "He had really, really dirty thoughts, you can tell" thing.

  3. OMG Dream Weiner. In the same post as Daphne du Maurier.

    So wrong, it's right.

  4. Totally didn't know that was James 'You put your weed in there" Franco's brother. And I remember having one of those dreams, then waking up dreamily ecstatic that my feet were entangled with my crush's feet, and then realizing they were just MY HUSBAND'S and kicking him the hell away from me.

  5. And now I've got Dream Weaver stuck in my head, with different words.

    I love Rebecca.


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