So I've been out running around all day, trying to cram in as many errands as possible, and I was on my way into a store in a strip mall when I kicked something smallish and heard it grate against the ground. I kicked it again before I had the chance to look down to see what I was kicking.
I wish I hadn't.
It was . . . somebody's bridgework. Yeah. So fucking disgusting I can't even believe it.
I was kicking someone's teeth around a parking lot.
I have to go disinfect my shoe.
AND THANK GOD I WAS NOT WEARING OPEN TOED SHOES OR I WOULD NOT BE SITTING HERE RIGHT NOW.
I didn't know you lived in West Virginia. Or in a Charles Addams cartoon.
ReplyDeleteDid you place a lost and found ad? "Found - significant piece of oral prosthesis in highly unsanitary parking lot. Call to describe for return. If pronunciation is highly impacted by lack of prosthesis, email."
Finally, EEEWWWWWW!!!!!!
The thing is, how do you lose your bridgework in a parking lot and not notice?
ReplyDeleteI swear to god, I cannot believe that that happened to me. I still see those fake teeth and metal prongs and FAKE GUMS smiling up at me from the tip of my shoe.
ReplyDeleteI need to bleach my brain.