Friday, November 9, 2007

I Can't Believe I Haven't Thrown Up Yet

So I've been out running around all day, trying to cram in as many errands as possible, and I was on my way into a store in a strip mall when I kicked something smallish and heard it grate against the ground. I kicked it again before I had the chance to look down to see what I was kicking.

I wish I hadn't.

It was . . . somebody's bridgework. Yeah. So fucking disgusting I can't even believe it.

I was kicking someone's teeth around a parking lot.

I have to go disinfect my shoe.

AND THANK GOD I WAS NOT WEARING OPEN TOED SHOES OR I WOULD NOT BE SITTING HERE RIGHT NOW.

3 comments:

  1. I didn't know you lived in West Virginia. Or in a Charles Addams cartoon.

    Did you place a lost and found ad? "Found - significant piece of oral prosthesis in highly unsanitary parking lot. Call to describe for return. If pronunciation is highly impacted by lack of prosthesis, email."

    Finally, EEEWWWWWW!!!!!!

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  2. The thing is, how do you lose your bridgework in a parking lot and not notice?

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  3. I swear to god, I cannot believe that that happened to me. I still see those fake teeth and metal prongs and FAKE GUMS smiling up at me from the tip of my shoe.

    I need to bleach my brain.

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Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.