The Suniverse Returns, Part 3: Back to Life, Back to Reality.

UPDATED: So evidently Blogger likes to fuck with me.  This was supposed to post this morning.  Evidently I'm not good enough for Blogger to do WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO.  Bastards.  Enjoy.

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The whirl of the holidays, when it's not making me so very, very tired, or cranking me up like a nutcase, lets me down when with a thunk when it's over.

I love that whirl.  That chaos.  That moment of possibility.

Plus, it's just fun to have a lot going on, right?  Where normal rules don't apply?  You can do shots in the morning and make a ribbon and bow tiara to wear during the day and make three kinds of potatoes for one meal and it's fine!  Just fine!

Until it ends.  And reality sets in.  Plain, dull reality with its bills to pay and three square meals and a job that expects you to show up if you want to be paid.  So you can turn around and pay your aforementioned bills instead of buying something pretty and sparkly.

That smack of reality is often made worse by the dreaded New Year's Resolution.

Too fucking right, Calvin.  Too fucking right.

I tend not to make New Year's resolutions because I don't like feeling bad about myself [I do that enough without prompting, thanks].  Still, I DO think of things I'd like to accomplish in the coming year.  I don't say them out loud.  I still manage not to keep them, but it's less painful to not accomplish something you only THOUGHT about rather than something you told other people you were going to do and then they hold you accountable or at the very least look at you sideways and give you the stink eye.

But because I am a giver, and I needed a topic for today's post, here are some NON-New Year's Resolutions I've already blown so far:

• Being kinder to myself and others.  Sure.  I would easily do this if that idiot knew how to drive.  Or that jackass stopped STOPPING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE WITH HIS FUCKING CART OH MY GOD, OTHER PEOPLE EXIST, ASSHOLE.  Also, my default setting is to judge myself very, very harshly, so I judge myself for not being kinder to myself and then I feel bad for judging myself for not being kinder and do you see this vicious cycle?  I can't win.  I was dead in the water before I started.
• Go to the gym.  I'm 0 for 4 so far.  I'm hoping tonight's the night, but we'll see. [UPDATE:  Surprise, surprise, it wasn't.] I don't want to be a fanatic about it, but I do want to be healthier.  I guess I shouldn't JUDGE MYSELF so harshly about not going.  I'll go when I'm ready.  See?  No timeline means I win!!  Keep your judgy eye to yourself, jerk brain.
• Cleaning my house every day.  This is another thing that sounds great in theory - clean a bit every day so it doesn't pile up.  I mean, a room a day?  Or just dusting?  Or swiffering?  How easy, right?  Who DOESN'T want to come home to a house that's in need of cleaning after a long day at work PLUS a hellish commute and just roll up her sleeves and grab those paper towels and have at it.  I can barely manage to go through the mail and deal with the kitchen so we have clean dishes every day.  And fuck, I just realized I need to empty the dishwasher.  This bullshit never ends.  
• Being more fiscally responsible.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  I believe I am PERSONALLY in debt to China to the tune of a kajillion dollars.  Fucking student loans.  How about this:  I'll be more fiscally responsible when the banks are.  

Yeah, so, that's what I've got today.  I think this about concludes my summing up of my holiday experience.  Fun, fun and then a smack in the face.  Kind of like a night out with Chris Brown.  Or Jackson Browne.  Pretty much stop dating anyone named Brown[e].  It won't end well.