Friday, April 22, 2011

Week In Review - My Mouse Stopped Working and Now I Have to Use the Stupid Trackpad

I've spent the week deep cleaning my house and hoping for Spring to show up.  Well, at least the house is clean.  And YAY I got some good freelance stuff coming in.  Good thing I blew all that cash on a law degree. HAHAHAHAHA fucking ha.  Anybody want to sue someone? I'm available.

Anyway, a lot of other stuff happened this week:

Remember a few years ago, when that woman accused the Duke lacrosse team of raping her? Guess what? She stabbed her boyfriend to death.  Yup.  That's fucking hardcore. I think you have to be pretty invested in killing someone to stab them to death.  Gunshot? Could be accidental.  Stabbing? Probably not.  Particularly if you've once been charged with attempted murder of your then-boyfriend. Sure, innocent until proven guilty, but . . .

Is Roger Ailes the devil? Probably.  Is he a paranoid nutjob? Absolutely.  He's been spying on the reporters & staff of the small-town newspaper he bought to fuck around with when he retires from his evil fiefdom of Fox News.  Even though they're handpicked right-wing nutters like himself, he still can't trust those bastards running a small town paper.  So he spies on them.  Like having-them-tailed spying.  Crazycakes? You bet! Ah, Fox News, where the nuttiest rise to the top.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I hear a click on my phone and there's this car that's been parked down the street for a while.  I wonder who could be behind this?

Fidel retired! FIDEL!

That's right, bitches. I'm Fidel.
I love him.  I really do.  I love how he's just so fucking Fidel about everything, a complete badass who looks around at the world and goes, "Eh, fuck you.  Here's my 100% literacy rate.  Here's my excellent medical care.  Suck it, everyone." [Yes, yes, I get the whole despot and Mariel Boat Lift and the, shall we say, inability to tolerate dissidents.  Everyone has their dark side.]  I wonder if he'll change out of his uniform now.  Fidel in a Tommy Bahama linen shirt, sipping mojitos and eating a Cuban sandwich? I could see that.

Jesus fucking christ, Ohio.  Prescription overdoses surpassed car crashes as the leading cause of accidental fatalities. There's been an alarming upswing in prescription drug abuse, particularly among children.  Middle schoolers, even.  Old people selling Oxycontin to children to supplement their Social Security.  Young women shot and killed in front of their children.  There is something severely fucking wrong with a country where this kind of shit happens.

And finally, remember that fucking douchebag from Rutgers who webcammed his gay roommate's romantic liaison, causing that poor guy to jump off the George Washington Bridge? Well, he's been charged with a hate crime.  Also, invasion of privacy.  He's going to enjoy prison.

Did I miss anything?

14 comments:

  1. Ah, the Rutgers douchebag in a prison. Something tells me he is
    going to be experiencing gay love!

    Between you and InJaynesWorld, I don't even need to read the news anymore!

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  2. I could use a lawyer. Let's sue the inventor of jeggings.

    Sarah xxx

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  3. rutgers kid: i have one reaction to his indictment.

    ha. haha. hahaha. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

    karma's a bitch, ain't it?

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  4. I had no idea. I also didn't know that I wasn't following you. I saw you left another comment on my blog. I don't think you are outright following me yet, however you did post twice now so I must peak your interest a little or I'm completely into myself. Anyhoo, I kicked my ass into gear and am now officially following you. Good Day :D

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  5. Ahhhh. I just love Fridays around here. Now I can officially start my weekend all in the know. Wait. I work tomorrow. Fuck.

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  6. You know, when you put it like that I kind of want to be fidel

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  7. Your Fridays are the best. :)

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  8. Sorry about your computer. I know how frustrating that can be.

    I also did not know about Castro. Thanks for keeping me updated.

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  9. I love your Week In Review posts, they get me in a snarky mood, lol. It's very likely that it'll be on a Friday that I take you up on your offer to sue someone!

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  10. Jeepers, things are crazy out there. Think I will keep my head buried in my blog.

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  11. Suniverse

    can you email me if you still want to enter the Blog of War...niel.black@ntlworld.com

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  12. I'll need a lawyer when I sue my place of employment for breaking my ass. Maybe don't say "ass" in the lawsuit. Something more lawerly. Derriere?

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  13. Oh--I have a totally useless English Lit degree, but that sucked from teh get go, so I don't really have the "right" to bitch about it.

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Every time you comment, I get a lady boner.