Let's just get to it, shall we?
I have a UFO tweeter following me! JEALOUS? YES, YOU ARE! When the mother ship lands, I'll put in a good word for you. Provided I'm not cowering under the bed. [Historical aside: When I was much younger and freer, I was in Santa Fe, which is a weird place, and some friends and I were talking one evening about what we would do if a UFO did, in fact, show up. Trust me when I tell you that when you are in Santa Fe, at night, this kind of thing seems more likely to happen than not. Anyway, we pretty much all agreed that shitting our pants would be Job One if an alien showed up at the side of the bed. What do you think?]
We are having an ass-ton of family over on July 4th. Which is great, I love having parties. It's just that it's dawning on me that we don't have a pool, nor do we live on lake, and I'm pretty sure we don't even have a sprinkler. I need fun warm weather activities for age ranges 8 - 70. STAT.
I have a tendency to be uber-competitive about somethings - especially things that have nothing to do with me. Also, I do not take kindly to perceived slights [and a slight can be perceived as being pretty much anything some days]. Yesterday I was speaking to the Academic Dean at the girl's new school, and we were going over the girl's course schedule [they want you to fill out a tentative 4 year plan at high schools now, did you know this? Weird, right?] and we got to the math portion.
Math, this year, has been sticky. The girl is fucking brilliant at math, but had a complete crisis of confidence and felt she was the dumbest kid in the history of kids who ever added or subtracted, which obviously affected her ability to deal with math and ultimately her final grade.
The Dean and I discussed this, and she suggested that rather than taking the more rigorous, advanced class in the fall, the girl take the regular, more sedately paced math class so that she could get her bearings back.
WRONG. I had to stifle - seriously, clam down like a motherfucker - this urge to make sure that the girl was in the advanced class, because goddamnit, she's smart. She doesn't need the slower paced class. That's bullshit.
Which is completely wrong. I know that. It's not as if the Dean said she'd have to go to remedial math or repeat a class, which in any case would have been fine if she needed it. Except I'm a fucking lunatic, and would have seen it as MY inability to have the girl function well in math class.
Which is even more wrong. And crazy. And what's worse is that I was getting bent about the girl not taking Algebra II & Trig and instead taking Algebra II. Which is a class that is still 2 fucking years ahead of her grade level.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Am I the only crazy like this? Please tell me I'm not.
Over at Circle of Moms, I've given my advice to new or soon-to-be moms, and evidently you can read my answer and vote for me [or just vote for me - trust me, I'm chock full of excellent advice on parenting, just reference above to my excellent parenting ability re: my daughter and math] so that I can be elected . . . Most Awesome in the Universe? I'm not sure. Anyway, vote here. [I have no idea why the formatting sucks. Sorry about that.]
O.k., so not only was this post full of randomness, but evidently full of questions I need you to answer. So here's one more:
If you had to make out with either Hall or Oates, which one would it be? Be honest.